Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is a huge sacrifice, especially when it comes to family. Leaving your kids behind to work abroad is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. But, guess what? Raising your kids while overseas is possible, and many OFWs are doing it successfully. This article is packed with practical tips and advice to help you navigate this challenging but rewarding journey.
The Emotional Rollercoaster: Missing Milestones
Let’s be honest, the distance makes everything harder. Birthdays, graduations, first steps – you’re going to miss some of them. And it hurts. A lot. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even guilty. These feelings are normal. The trick is to acknowledge them and find healthy ways to cope. Talk to your partner, friends, or other OFWs who understand what you’re going through. Remember, you’re not alone in this. Many OFWs can relate. The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) frequently publishes reports about the number of OFWs deployed annually, providing insights into the scale of this phenomenon. In 2021, about 1.77 million Filipinos were OFWs. This figure shows that a vast community is facing similar challenges.
One thing that could help is to create a visual reminder of your family. Having pictures, videos, and souvenirs around your living space can bridge the distance. Don’t just keep them on your phone – print them out, create a photo album, or make a memory box. These small things can make a big difference in how connected you feel. Use those photos and videos to start conversations with your kids during your calls. “Remember that picture of you at your graduation? I’m so proud of you!”.
Communication is Key: Staying Connected in a Digital World
Technology is your best friend. Back in the day, OFWs had to wait for expensive international calls or snail mail to communicate. Now, we have video calls, instant messaging, and social media. Use them! Schedule regular video calls with your kids, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Make it a routine, like having dinner together virtually. Don’t just ask “How was your day?”. Instead, ask specific questions, like “What was the funniest thing that happened in school today?” or “What games did you play with your friends?”.
Consider creating a family group chat. Share photos, videos, and updates throughout the day. This way, your kids feel like they’re still part of your daily life. If your kids are old enough, encourage them to video call you spontaneously, even if just to say goodnight. You can also use apps that let you play games together online, like online chess or online board games. It might seem small, but these little moments of connection can strengthen your bonds.
It’s really important to adjust your schedule to match with your children. For example, if they are in a different time zone, make time when they are available even if that means waking up extra early, or staying up late. Remember, consistent and open communication is the key to maintaining strong family relationships despite the distance.
The Role of the Caregiver: Choosing the Right Person
The person you leave your children with is crucial to their well-being. Whether it’s your spouse, a relative, or a hired caregiver, make sure they understand your values and parenting style. Have open and honest conversations about your expectations. It’s critical that you trust this person implicitly.
If your spouse is the primary caregiver, support them emotionally and practically. Working abroad and taking over all parental responsibilities can be overwhelming. Make sure they get regular breaks, time for themselves, and your unwavering support. If you’re leaving the kids with someone else, screen potential caregivers carefully. Check their references, conduct background checks, and observe them interacting with your children. You could also look at community boards or caregiver services which can help identify qualified candidates.
Also, make sure the caregiver is very capable and confident to implement your parenting style. Don’t be afraid to state rules and requirements for the welfare of your children. Maintain constant communications with the caregiver to make sure everything is moving smoothly. It’s also a good idea to have open communication with your children, so they can share any concerns or issues they may be experiencing with the caregiver. Empowering them with this ability to share also creates a safe and positive environmnet.
Financial Responsibility: Investing in Your Children’s Future
One of the main reasons OFWs work abroad is to provide a better future for their children. Make sure you’re managing your finances wisely. Create a budget, track your expenses, and prioritize saving for your children’s education, health, and future needs. Seek financial literacy about money management because it’s often overlooked aspect that is critical for the long-term success and well-being of overseas Filipino workers and their families.
Consider investing in your children’s education by setting up an education fund early on. This will help ease the financial burden when they reach college age. There are many financial institutions and investment firms that offer education plans tailored for OFWs. Research and compare different options to find the one that best suits your needs. Also, teach your children the value of money. Encourage them to save a portion of their allowance and make them understand the sacrifices you’re making for them. This will instill in them a sense of responsibility and appreciation.
Remind your children that your financial help is not a given thing, and to spend wisely. It is also advisable to prepare a financial plan not only for the needs of your family, but for yourself too. This helps to have a sustainable balance on your financial management. Make sure it covers healthcare, insurances, and even retirement plans.
Instilling Values: Teaching from Afar
Being physically absent doesn’t mean you can’t teach your children values. Use your phone calls, video chats, and visits to impart important lessons. Talk about honesty, respect, hard work, and compassion. Share stories about your own experiences and the challenges you’ve overcome. Use every interaction as an opportunity to teach them the values you want them to uphold.
It would be useful to send your children books and/or videos that demonstrate good values. You can have a virtual movie night online together and talk about what your family has watched. Remind your children of your family’s values and traditions. It also helps when you are a positive influence and role model. You can also have a virtual book reading sessions during your calls, so that you can engage with your child’s learning. It’s your job to make sure your kids still grow up with a strong sense of right and wrong, even when you’re not there to guide them in person.
Talk about your culture and have them learn the language. Don’t let them forget their roots. Share stories about their heritage and traditions. You can send them books, videos, or even engage in a virtual tour to explore their roots even you are away.
Dealing with Guilt: It’s Okay to Not Be Perfect
Every OFW parent struggles with guilt at some point. Feeling like you’re not doing enough, that you’re missing out on important moments, or that you’re not being a good parent. It’s important to remember that you’re doing the best you can with the resources you have. Cut yourself some slack. You’re working hard to provide for your family, and that’s something to be proud of. Don’t let guilt consume you. Instead, focus on what you can do to make the situation better.
Try journaling to release your emotions. You can also look for or create a community of supportive people who can understand what you’re going through, such as joining OFW support groups can help you process challenges like these. Remind yourself often about your intentions, and the good that you bring to your family with your hard work abroad. It can also help to talk to a therapist or counselor, who can help you process your feeling and create healthier coping strategies.
Instead of dwelling on what you’re missing, focus on the positive aspects of your situation. You’re providing your children with opportunities they might not have otherwise had. You’re teaching them resilience, independence, and the value of hard work. And, most importantly, you’re showing them that you love them and that you’re willing to make sacrifices for their well-being. Remember, the quality of the time you spend together is more important than the quantity.
Making the Most of Home Visits: Quality Time Matters
Home visits are precious. Make the most of them. Plan activities that you and your children will enjoy. Go on trips, visit amusement parks, cook together, or simply spend time talking and laughing. Put away your phone and give them your undivided attention. Home visits may be short, but their impact can be huge. Show them how much you love them, and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Before your visit, ask your children what they want to do. This will make them feel more involved and excited about your arrival. During your visit, be present. Resist the urge to check your work emails or take calls. Be fully engaged in the moment. After your visit, follow up with your children. Send them photos and videos of your time together. This will help them remember the good times and feel connected to you even when you’re away.
Consider doing things like family movie nights, picnics, visiting new places, or playing sports. Make sure everyone gets a chance to say what is important for them for the visit. Also, it’s a good idea to give small gifts and souvenirs before going back to your country work, as keepsakes to remember you by.
Education and School Involvement: Staying in the Loop
Stay involved in your children’s education, even from afar. Communicate regularly with their teachers, attend parent-teacher conferences virtually, and help them with their homework. Show them that you value their education and that you’re invested in their success. If you’re unable to attend conferences, ask their guardian to do so. Get regular updates from their parents.
Check their grades online, and praise them when they do well. Encourage them when they struggle. Help them with their homework through phone calls. Talk to your children about their studies and ask them what they’re learning. Encourage them to read books and engage in educational activities. If possible, enroll them in online courses or tutoring programs to supplement their learning. There are tons of online resources that you can find for a fair price.
If your child’s school has a good website, make sure to use its resources to stay in the loop about the announcements and events held by the school. Many schools and academic groups also organize webinars for parents. These webinars can have useful information regarding education and technology. Staying connected as a family and involved with school is your job to make sure your kids still grow up with the kind of support and security they need, even when you’re not there with them.
Building a Support System: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Surround yourself with a strong support system. Connect with other OFWs, join online forums, and build friendships with people who understand your situation. Having someone to talk to, share your experiences with, and lean on during difficult times can make a world of difference. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Your friends, family, and community are there for you.
Also, look into social groups like church or religious denominations, social organizations, and volunteer groups. Remember, it’s important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Make time for activities that you enjoy, practice self-care, and prioritize your well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup. The better you take care of yourself, the better you can care for your children.
Addressing Behavioral Issues: When Distance Adds Complexity
Sometimes, distance can contribute to behavioral issues in children. They might act out, become withdrawn, or struggle with their emotions. If you notice any significant changes in your child’s behavior, don’t ignore them. Talk to your spouse or caregiver, consult with a school counselor, or seek professional help if needed. Early intervention is key to addressing these issues effectively.
Try to understand the root cause of the behavior. Are they feeling neglected, lonely, or insecure? Are they struggling with their studies, their friends, or their identity? Once you understand what’s driving their behavior, you can start to find solutions. Be patient, understanding, and supportive. Let your children know that you’re there for them, no matter what. Remind your child you love them and believe in them. If necessary, consider consulting a child psychologist or therapist. They can provide guidance and support to both you and your child.
Having clear rules and appropriate boundaries is very important if you are raising your children while working away. If your child is experiencing challenges like these, talk so you can understand the cause of their actions. It could be neglect, loneliness, or insecurity. Make sure to always be there for them, and if things get difficult than you imagined, call in for professional support.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it possible to raise well-adjusted children while working as an OFW?
Absolutely! It requires dedication, effort, and a strong support system, but many OFWs have successfully raised happy and healthy children. The key is to prioritize communication, stay involved in their lives, and provide them with a stable and loving environment. Remember to set up regular phone calls, video chats and also manage finances.
How often should I visit my children?
That depends on your work schedule, financial situation, and family’s needs. Ideally, you should visit as often as possible. Even if you can only visit once a year, make the most of that time. Plan meaningful activities, reconnect with your children, and create lasting memories. Work with the local policies to check if you may make frequent visits.
What are some tips for dealing with homesickness?
Homesickness is a common struggle for OFWs. To cope, try to stay connected with your family and friends back home. Join OFW support groups, participate in cultural events, and create a comfortable living space that reminds you of home. Also, focus on the positive aspects of your experience, such as the opportunities you’re creating for your family. Lastly, make sure to take time for self-care such as meditation or exercise to ease anxiety and calm you down.
How can I ensure my children don’t feel resentful towards me for working abroad?
Open and honest communication is crucial. Explain to your children why you’re working abroad and the sacrifices you’re making for their future. Show them how much you love them and that you’re invested in their lives, even from afar. Involve them in your decision-making process and make them feel like they’re part of the team. In that way, your kids you not only will understand, but appreciate your great support as a parent.
What resources are available to support OFW families?
Many organizations and government agencies offer support services for OFW families. Check with the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) and the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) for information on financial assistance, counseling, and educational programs. You can also find online support groups and community organizations that cater to OFW families. Take advantage of these resources to help you navigate the challenges of raising children while working abroad. Local communities can also provide assistance.
References
- Philippine Statistics Authority. (2021). Statistics on Overseas Filipino Workers.
- Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA). Programs and Services.
- Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO). Resources for Filipinos Overseas.
Raising your kids while working overseas is undoubtedly challenging. No single parent can do it all—but with planning, persistence, and support, any challenge is surmountable. As discussed, consistent communication, a strong support system, wise financial habits, and a deep commitment to your children’s well-being will make sure that both you and your loved ones can thrive despite living apart. The most important thing to prioritize is your intention to give the best future for your children. This commitment will drive you to do everything in your power to raise them well, despite the distance.
Ready to take control of your family’s future? Start today by implementing these easy and actionable steps! Take a moment to schedule a video call with your family. Research OFW support groups in your area or online and join one. Set up a financial plan for your children’s education. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Together, we can make it work!
