Coming home as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is more than just stepping off the plane. It’s about the emotional journey you take before, during, and after you return. Are you truly ready to reconnect with loved ones, face new challenges, and build a life back home? This article explores the emotional preparedness needed for a successful homecoming.
The Big Picture: Understanding Your Emotions
Let’s face it, being an OFW is tough. You’re dealing with a new culture, a different language (sometimes!), and the constant ache of missing your family. All these experiences shape you, and it’s crucial to understand how they impact your emotions. Many OFWs experience a mix of excitement and anxiety as their return date approaches. It’s normal to feel thrilled about seeing your family after so long, but also nervous about re-adjusting to life back home. Recognizing these feelings is the first step towards managing them effectively.
Think about the changes you’ve gone through. Have you become more independent? More assertive? Have your values shifted? These changes might not always align with the expectations of your family and friends back home. Understanding these potential differences can help you navigate tricky situations and avoid misunderstandings. Also, consider creating a journal to record your thoughts and feelings in the months leading up to your return. This can be a great way to process your emotions and identify any areas of concern.
The “Culture Shock” in Reverse: It’s Real!
You’ve heard of culture shock when going abroad, right? Well, reverse culture shock is totally a thing too! It’s that weird feeling of being a bit out of sync with your own culture after being away for a long time. Things might seem different, people might have changed, and you might even find yourself missing certain aspects of your life abroad. It is a psychological and emotional distress experienced upon returning to one’s home country after living abroad for a significant period, as explained by the U.S. Department of State.
For example, maybe you got used to a certain level of efficiency or customer service in your host country that you don’t find back home. Or perhaps you miss the diverse food options you had access to. Small things like these can add up and make you feel a little disconnected. The key is to be patient with yourself and allow time to re-adjust. Don’t expect everything to feel the same as before you left. Embrace the changes, both in yourself and in your environment.
Family Expectations: A Delicate Balance
Okay, let’s talk about family. This is where things can get a bit complicated. Your family has likely been imagining your homecoming for a long time, and they might have certain expectations about how things will be. They might expect you to instantly fall back into your old role within the family, or they might have expectations about how you’ll spend your money. Often, families might see an OFW’s return as a solution to their financial problems. While you want to help, it’s also important to establish boundaries and manage expectations early on. This is especially important to avoid unhealthy financial dependency. Research and proper financial planning is necessary to safeguard the OFW’s future according to the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.
Have open and honest conversations with your family about your expectations, too. Let them know that you’re excited to be back, but also that you need time to adjust. Explain that you have your own goals and dreams, and that you want to work together as a family to support each other. One helpful tip is to have a family meeting before you arrive, or shortly after, to discuss these expectations and address any concerns. Setting clear guidelines can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts down the road.
Money Matters: Planning for a Sustainable Future
Alright, let’s get real about money. You’ve worked hard for every peso you’ve earned, and it’s important to make sure it’s used wisely. Before you come home, create a detailed financial plan. This should include your savings, debts, investments, and future expenses. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to get personalized advice on how to manage your money effectively. Many OFWs work hard to get enough money to bring their families out of poverty. This is understandable, but a long-term financial plan is helpful.
Avoid the temptation to splurge on expensive items or lend money to everyone who asks. While it’s natural to want to help your loved ones, it’s crucial to prioritize your own financial security. Invest in things that will provide long-term benefits, such as education, a business, or real estate. Additionally, be aware of common scams that target returning OFWs. The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) issues advisories regularly on investment scams.
Finding Your Purpose: Beyond Just Earning a Living
Many OFWs focus solely on earning money, but it’s essential to think about your purpose beyond just providing for your family. What are your passions? What are you good at? What kind of impact do you want to make in your community? Finding your purpose can give you a sense of fulfillment and motivation, even when things get tough. Consider volunteering your time, starting a small business, or pursuing a hobby that you enjoy. Focus on ways to serve others and make the world a better place and find happiness, a benefit, as discussed in this study on the impact of altruism on well being.
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Think about what you’ve learned and experienced as an OFW. How can you use those skills and knowledge to contribute to your community? Maybe you can teach a new language, mentor aspiring entrepreneurs, or advocate for better working conditions for OFWs. Remember, your worth is not just measured by your income, but by the impact you have on the lives of others. Try to develop new skills that are relevant to the local job market. Taking some short courses can help.
Rebuilding Relationships: It Takes Time and Effort
Being away from your family for a long time can strain relationships. It’s important to be patient and understanding as you work to rebuild those connections. Don’t expect things to be perfect right away. It takes time and effort to reconnect with your spouse, children, parents, and siblings. Make an effort to spend quality time with each family member. Listen attentively to their concerns and share your own experiences. Plan activities that you can enjoy together, such as family dinners, movie nights, or weekend trips. Focus on creating positive memories and strengthening your bond.
Communication is key to rebuilding relationships. Be open and honest about your feelings, and encourage your family members to do the same. Avoid blaming each other for past mistakes, and focus on building a better future together. For couples, consider seeking counseling or therapy to address any unresolved issues. Remember, rebuilding relationships is a journey, not a destination. Be persistent, be patient, and be willing to compromise.
Dealing With Loneliness: You’re Not Alone
Even when surrounded by family and friends, you might still experience feelings of loneliness after returning home. This is especially common for OFWs who have spent many years living independently. You might miss the sense of freedom and autonomy you had abroad, or you might struggle to adjust to the slower pace of life back home. It can be tempting to withdraw from social activities and isolate yourself. Be careful not to do this long-term.
It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with loneliness. Connect with old friends and acquaintances, join a club or organization, or volunteer your time. Engaging in social activities can help you feel more connected and less isolated. Additionally, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Talking to a professional can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.
Managing Expectations: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
We’ve already talked about managing your family’s expectations, but it’s just as important to manage your own. Don’t expect to be able to solve all your family’s problems overnight. Don’t expect to be instantly happy and fulfilled. Don’t expect everything to go according to plan. Life is full of surprises, and it’s important to be flexible and adaptable. It’s very easy to get worn out quickly if you are trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulder.
Be realistic about what you can accomplish, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Delegate tasks, ask for advice, and seek support from your family, friends, and community. Remember, you don’t have to do everything on your own. Embrace imperfections. Accept that setbacks are inevitable, and learn from your mistakes. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. By managing your expectations, you can reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.
What Now? Taking That First Step
So, you have to start taking steps. Start small, but start today. Maybe it’s talking to a family member about your expectations, maybe it’s researching investment options, or maybe it’s simply setting aside some time for self-care. Whatever it is, take that first step towards a more fulfilling and purposeful life back home. This could be planning one new activity a week, maybe trying to rekindle an old relationship.
Remember, coming home is not the end of your journey, but the beginning of a new chapter. Embrace the challenges, celebrate the joys, and never stop learning and growing. You have the strength, resilience, and determination to create a life that is meaningful and rewarding. Start now. Don’t wait.
FAQ Section
I’m scared of disappointing my family. What should I do?
Open communication is key. Before returning home, have a heart-to-heart talk with your family. Explain your financial situation honestly, discuss your plans, and set realistic expectations together. Remind them that you love them and want to support them, but you also need to take care of your own well-being.
How do I deal with feeling like an outsider in my own home?
Reverse culture shock is normal. Allow yourself time to re-adjust and don’t expect things to feel the same as before you left. Engage in activities you enjoy, reconnect with old friends, and explore your community. Focus on creating new memories and building new connections. Remember, it takes time to rebuild relationships and find your place again.
What if I run out of money?
A solid financial plan is crucial. Before returning home, create a detailed budget, track your expenses, and avoid unnecessary spending. Invest in assets that will generate income, such as a small business or real estate. Seek advice from a financial advisor to manage your finances effectively. Additionally, explore opportunities for employment or entrepreneurship to sustain your income.
I miss my life abroad. How do I cope?
Focus on the positive aspects of being back home, such as spending time with your loved ones and reconnecting with your culture. Stay in touch with friends from abroad through social media or video calls. Explore new hobbies or activities that you can enjoy locally. Remember, it’s okay to miss your old life, but it’s important to embrace the opportunities and experiences that await you back home.
How do I find my purpose after being an OFW?
Take time to reflect on your passions, skills, and values. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What kind of impact do you want to make in your community? Explore different options for volunteering, starting a small business, or pursuing a hobby. Find something that gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment beyond just earning a living. Remember, your worth is not just measured by your income, but by the positive impact you have on the lives of others.
What if my family members ask me for money constantly?
It’s important to establish clear boundaries. Help your family by teaching them financial literacy instead. Explain that although you can help, you cannot be their sole solution to their money problems. Consider contributing to a joint family fund rather than giving individual loans or gifts. Encourage your family to become financially independent.
How to deal with the feeling of being unproductive after coming home?
Try to think of new projects and skills you can start. Maybe you can start a low-capital business, invest, or take some short courses to improve your marketability.
How to avoid overspending my money?
Consider allocating a specific amount to the things you want. Try not to go over the limit or spend all of it at once. Learn how to delay gratification and focus only on things that truly matter.
References
U.S. Department of State.
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.
Securities and Exchange Commission.
National Center for Biotechnology Information.
Ready to truly thrive back home? Don’t just exist, live! Download our free OFW Homecoming Checklist for a step-by-step guide to prepare emotionally, financially, and practically. Plus, join our exclusive online community of returning OFWs where you can share experiences, get support, and access valuable resources. Your successful homecoming starts now! Click here to download the checklist and join the community. You got this!
