Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) can be tough. You’re working hard in a different country to provide for your family back home. But distance can make it hard to stay connected. This article is all about practical ways you can keep a strong and loving relationship with your family, even when you’re miles apart.
Why Staying Connected Matters
It’s easy to get caught up in work when you’re an OFW. You might think, “I’m sending money home, that’s enough.” But your family needs more than just financial support. They need your love, your attention, and your presence in their lives, even if that presence is virtual. Studies have shown that strong family connections improve mental well-being for both OFWs and their families. Maintaining these bonds reduces feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and guilt, and helps everyone feel more secure and supported.
Scheduling Regular Communication
One of the most important things you can do is to schedule regular communication. Don’t just call when you have free time; make it a planned event. For example, you can have a video call with your family every Sunday evening. Choose a time that works well for everyone, considering the time difference. It’s great if it can be after dinner or when everyone is generally free. During these calls, make sure to really listen to what your family members are saying. Ask about their day, their problems, and their achievements. Showing genuine interest will help you stay connected and will make them feel loved.
Consider using a shared family calendar. This can be a digital calendar on your phone or a physical calendar in the house. Mark important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, school events, and medical appointments. This way, you can always remember to send a greeting or offer support on those days. Having a shared calendar also helps coordinate communication and makes it easier to avoid missing important events.
Leveraging Technology
We’re lucky to live in a time where technology makes staying connected easier than ever. There are many apps and platforms that you can use to communicate with your family. Video calls are a great way to see each other’s faces and feel more connected. Apps like WhatsApp, Messenger, and Viber are popular choices for video calls and messaging. You can also use these apps to send photos and videos, sharing snippets of your daily life and seeing what your family is up to.
Social media can also be a useful tool, but it’s important to use it mindfully. Creating a private family group on Facebook or another platform can be a great way to share updates, photos, and videos with each other. Just be careful not to get too caught up in scrolling and comparing your life to others. The goal is to connect with your family, not to get lost in the world of social media.
Think about using voice notes. Sometimes it’s hard to find time for a full call, but you can always record a quick voice note to say hello, share a thought, or ask a question. Voice notes are a great way to stay in touch even when you’re busy. Plus, hearing your voice can be comforting for your family, especially if they’re feeling lonely or homesick.
Participating in Important Events (Virtually)
You might not be able to physically attend every important event in your family’s life, but you can still participate virtually. If your child has a school play, ask if they can record it for you or if you can join via video call. Attend family celebrations like birthdays and holidays through video conferencing. Even if you’re not there in person, your presence will be felt and appreciated.
Consider sending gifts and cards for special occasions. Receiving a thoughtful gift or a handwritten card can be a big boost to someone’s spirits, especially when they’re missing you. You can order gifts online and have them delivered directly to your family’s doorstep. Or, if you have time, you can create a personalized gift, like a scrapbook or a photo album. The thought and effort you put into the gift will mean even more than the gift itself.
Maintaining Traditions and Creating New Ones
Family traditions are an important part of keeping your family connected. Try to maintain as many of your traditions as possible, even when you’re far away. For example, if you always had a special family dinner on Sundays, you can still have that dinner virtually. Set a time when everyone can sit down together and eat, even if they’re in different places. Talk about your day, share stories, and just enjoy each other’s company.
You can also create new traditions that incorporate your life as an OFW. For example, you could start a tradition of having a video call every time you try a new food or visit a new place. This will give your family a glimpse into your life and help them feel more involved in your experiences. Another idea is to send postcards from the different places you visit. This is a fun and personal way to share your travels with your family.
Showing Support from Afar
Being there for your family doesn’t always mean being physically present. You can still show your support from afar in many ways. Offer to help with tasks like researching schools, planning vacations, or managing household finances. Even if you can’t physically do these things, your input and guidance can be valuable.
Be a good listener. Sometimes, your family members just need someone to talk to. Be available to listen to their problems, offer advice, and provide emotional support. Let them know that you care about what they’re going through and that you’re there for them, no matter what. Remind them of their strengths and accomplishments. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool for helping your family members feel confident and capable.
Dealing with Homesickness and Guilt
It’s normal to experience homesickness and guilt as an OFW. You might miss your family terribly and feel guilty about not being there for them. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways to cope with them. Talk to your family and friends about how you’re feeling. Sharing your emotions can help you feel less alone and more supported.
Focus on the positive aspects of your situation. Remember why you decided to work abroad in the first place. Think about the benefits your family is receiving because of your sacrifices. This can help you stay motivated and reduce feelings of guilt. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Also, find time to relax and do things you enjoy. Taking care of yourself will help you stay strong and resilient, which will benefit both you and your family.
Financial Planning Together
Financial planning should be a family affair. Talk to your family about your financial goals and how you’re planning to achieve them. Set realistic goals together and create a budget that works for everyone. This will help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that everyone is on the same page. As reported by the Philippine Statistics Authority, remittances from OFWs contribute significantly to the Philippine economy. Making wise financial decisions can secure your family’s future.
Teach your family about financial literacy. Help them understand the importance of saving, investing, and managing debt. This will empower them to make informed financial decisions and help them build a secure future. There are many resources available online and in your community that can help you and your family learn more about financial literacy. Consider attending workshops or seminars together, or reading books and articles on the subject.
The Role of the Spouse Left Behind
If you’re the OFW, understanding the challenges your spouse faces back home is paramount. They are essentially single parents, managing the household, children, and often, family businesses or investments. The spouse left behind needs emotional support just as much as, if not more than, the OFW. Regular check-ins, expressing appreciation for their hard work, and offering practical assistance where possible (like coordinating repairs or online shopping) can make a huge difference. A study from the Scalabrini Migration Center shows the importance of social networks to the well-being of the spouses left behind.
For the spouse who is left behind, it’s important to maintain your own identity and interests. Don’t let your life revolve solely around your partner’s work and the children. Pursue your hobbies, spend time with friends, and take care of your own well-being. This will not only make you happier but also make you a better partner and parent. Communicate your needs and feelings to your partner. Let them know what you need in terms of emotional support, practical assistance, and quality time together. Open and honest communication is essential for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.
Planning for Your Return
One day you will come home for good. Thinking and planning for that day can bring both hope and anxiety. Start discussing your plans with your family early on. What do you want to do when you return? Where do you want to live? What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? Having these conversations in advance will help you ensure that everyone is on the same page and that you’re working towards a common goal.
Save and invest wisely so that you have enough money to support yourself and your family when you return. Explore different investment options and seek professional advice if needed. Consider starting a business or pursuing further education or training. This will help you stay active and engaged after you return, and it will provide you with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. The Commission on Filipinos Overseas provides resources and programs for OFWs preparing for reintegration to the Philippines.
Staying Connected with Extended Family
While your immediate family is your primary focus, don’t forget about your extended family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can all play an important role in your family’s life. Make an effort to stay in touch with them as well, even if it’s just through occasional phone calls or messages. This can be especially important for your children, who may be missing out on the opportunity to build relationships with their extended family members.
Consider organizing virtual family reunions. This is a great way to bring everyone together and reconnect, even if you’re not physically present. You can use video conferencing tools to host the reunion and plan activities that everyone can participate in, such as games, quizzes, or talent shows. These events can help to strengthen family bonds and create lasting memories.
The Impact on Children and How to Mitigate It
Children of OFWs often face unique challenges. They may experience feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and anxiety. It’s important to be aware of these challenges and to take steps to mitigate them. Maintain open communication with your children. Talk to them about how they’re feeling and let them know that you understand their struggles. Reassure them that you love them and that you’re working hard for their future. As reported by UNICEF, children left behind by migrant parents can experience psychosocial distress.
Encourage your children to participate in activities that they enjoy, such as sports, music, or art. This will help them develop their talents, build their confidence, and stay connected with their peers. Also, make sure they have strong support systems in place, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, or close friends. These individuals can provide emotional support and guidance when you’re not there. Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult if they’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
FAQ Section
How can I afford to call my family regularly if I’m on a tight budget?
Many apps offer free or low-cost international calls and messaging. Look into options like WhatsApp, Viber, Messenger, and Skype. These often work via internet connection, which might be cheaper than traditional phone calls. You can also look for affordable data plans or Wi-Fi options in your area.
What if my schedule is too hectic to have regular video calls?
Even short, frequent check-ins are better than nothing. Try sending voice notes, text messages, or pictures throughout the day. You can also schedule a weekly “family night” even if it’s just for 30 minutes. The key is to find a rhythm that works for your lifestyle and stick to it.
My child is acting out since I left. What should I do?
Acting out can be a sign of emotional distress. Try to have open and honest conversations with your child. Listen without judgment and validate their feelings. Consider involving a trusted family member or counselor. Consistent communication and reassurance from you are crucial.
How can I handle feeling homesick?
Homesickness is normal. Stay connected with your family and friends through regular communication. Create a home-like environment in your living space with familiar items and photos. Explore local cultural activities and connect with other Filipinos in your area. Most importantly, remember why you chose to work abroad and focus on the positive aspects of your situation.
How do I ensure my remittances are used wisely?
Have open and honest discussions with your family about financial goals and budgeting. Create a written budget together and track expenses. Encourage them to save a portion of your remittances for future needs and investments. Consider seeking financial advice from a reputable professional.
References
- Philippine Statistics Authority.
- Scalabrini Migration Center.
- UNICEF.
- Commission on Filipinos Overseas.
Are you ready to step up your game and strengthen those family ties, regardless of the distance? Staying connected as an OFW takes effort, but it’s absolutely worth it for your happiness and your family’s well-being. Start today! Schedule that first video call, send a heartfelt message, and make a commitment to be present in your family’s lives, even from afar. Don’t wait until tomorrow – your family deserves your love and attention now! Let’s make distance just a number and strengthen the bonds that truly matter.
