For many Filipinos, working overseas (OFW) is seen as a pathway to a better life. Sending money home can greatly improve the family’s financial situation, covering education, healthcare, and even investments. But the distance and absence can also take a toll on family relationships. This article explores the potential downsides of OFW life on families and offers tips on how to minimize the negative effects.
The Initial Promise and the Harsh Reality
The decision to become an OFW is often driven by hope – hope for a higher salary, better opportunities, and the ability to provide for loved ones back home. Many OFWs envision building a brighter future for their families, free from the daily struggles they currently face. They picture sending their children to the best schools, affording proper medical care for their parents, and maybe even building a comfortable house. This dream fuels their determination to endure the hardships of working abroad.
However, the reality of OFW life can be starkly different from the initial dream. The challenges begin even before leaving the country. There are recruitment fees, language barriers, and cultural adjustments to contend with. Once overseas, OFWs often face long working hours, difficult living conditions, homesickness, and discrimination. They miss important family events like birthdays, graduations, and holidays. The separation can be emotionally draining for both the OFW and their family members.
The Financial Strain: Is it Worth the Cost?
While the primary motivation for working abroad is often financial, it’s important to consider the true cost of migration. Sending remittances is a critical part of the Philippine economy; according to the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, personal remittances from OFWs contribute significantly to the country’s gross domestic product. But are the financial gains always worth the emotional and social costs? Sometimes, the family may become overly reliant on the OFW’s income, leading to poor financial management or a lack of initiative among family members who remain in the Philippines. It can also create unhealthy dependencies where family members expect constant financial support, rather than becoming self-sufficient.
It’s crucial for OFWs to have open and honest conversations with their families about financial planning. Creating a budget, setting financial goals, and investing wisely can help maximize the benefits of their hard-earned money. Learning about investment options is a great way to make your remittances work for you, consider checking investment guides or consulting with financial advisors. It’s also important to discuss a contingency plan in case the OFW loses their job or encounters unexpected expenses.
The Impact on Children: Growing Up Without a Parent
One of the biggest concerns about OFW life is the impact on children. Growing up without a parent present can lead to feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and insecurity. Children may struggle with their schoolwork, exhibit behavioral problems, or have difficulty forming healthy relationships. While the financial support provided by the OFW can improve their living conditions, it cannot replace the emotional support and guidance of a parent. A study published by the Philippine Institute for Development Studies (PIDS) examined the social costs of labor migration on families, finding that children of OFWs are more likely to struggle with school performance and exhibit risky behaviors.
The role of the caregiver left behind is critical. Whether it’s the other parent, a grandparent, or another relative, the caregiver needs to provide consistent love, support, and discipline. It’s beneficial to encourage regular communication between the OFW and their children through video calls, letters, and social media. Setting aside dedicated time for these interactions can help maintain a strong bond despite the distance. It’s also important for the OFW to actively participate in their children’s lives by asking about their day, helping with homework, and offering advice.
The Strain on Marriages and Relationships
Long-distance relationships are inherently challenging, and OFW life puts immense pressure on marriages. The physical separation, lack of intimacy, and communication barriers can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even infidelity. The OFW may feel isolated and lonely, while the spouse back home may feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of managing the household and raising the children alone. Statistics on marital problems caused by OFWs are unfortunately difficult to come by with pinpoint accuracy given the sensitivity of the subject, but anecdotal evidence from therapists and counselors suggest separation and broken marriages are potential serious consequences.
To maintain a strong marriage while working abroad, open and honest communication is essential. Couples need to make a conscious effort to connect with each other regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Setting aside time for scheduled video calls, sharing photos and videos, and sending each other thoughtful messages can help bridge the distance. It’s also important to address any conflicts or concerns promptly and constructively. Couple therapy, through online options, could be beneficial.
Maintaining Connections and Building Bridges
Staying connected with family and friends back home is crucial for the well-being of OFWs. Social media platforms can be a valuable tool for maintaining these connections, allowing OFWs to share their experiences, stay up-to-date on family news, and participate in group chats. It’s also important to find ways to connect with other OFWs in the same country or region. Joining support groups, attending social gatherings, and volunteering for community events can help combat loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.
For families back home, it’s important to create opportunities to connect with the OFW. Organizing regular video calls, sending them care packages, and sharing photos and videos of family events can help them feel involved in their loved ones’ lives. It also helps to understand and acknowledge the challenges that the OFW is facing. Showing empathy and appreciation for their sacrifices can strengthen the bond and foster a sense of unity.
The Importance of Return Plans and Reintegration
While working abroad can provide short-term financial benefits, it’s essential to have a long-term plan for returning home. Many OFWs dream of eventually reuniting with their families and building a life back in the Philippines. However, reintegration can be challenging. Many OFWs struggle to find employment opportunities that match their skills and experience. They may also find it difficult to adjust to the slower pace of life and the changes that have occurred in their families and communities.
To ease the transition back home, it’s important to start planning well in advance. Saving a portion of their earnings and investing in businesses or properties can provide a financial safety net and create opportunities for self-employment. It’s also beneficial to take courses or training programs to update their skills and improve their employability. Connecting with local businesses and networking with potential employers can increase their chances of finding a job. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) offers reintegration programs and support services to help OFWs transition back to life in the Philippines.
Seeking Support: You’re Not Alone
It’s important to remember that OFWs and their families are not alone. There are many organizations and support groups that offer assistance and guidance. These organizations can provide counseling, financial advice, legal assistance, and other resources to help OFWs and their families cope with the challenges of migration. The Philippine government also has agencies that are dedicated to protecting the rights and welfare of OFWs. It is important to reach out for help when needed and not hesitate to ask for support.
Specific Tips for OFWs to Build Family Bridges
Here are some extra actionable steps OFWs can take to strengthen the family ties even while away:
- Schedule Consistent Communication: Don’t just call when you have time. Set a specific time each week for video calls with the family. Stick to it, and even put it on the family calendar.
- Send Personalized Gifts: Instead of just sending money for birthdays, pick out something specific that each family member would genuinely appreciate. It shows you’re thinking about them individually.
- Be Involved in Important Decisions: Even from afar, be part of big family decisions. Offer your input and advice. Your family still needs your wisdom and presence, even if you’re not physically there.
- Create Shared Experiences: Watch a movie together online, play an online game, or read the same book and discuss it. Shared experiences build bonds, even across borders.
- Acknowledge Their Struggles: Don’t only talk about your problems overseas. Ask about their challenges back home and offer support. Show them you care about their daily lives.
- Plan a Memorable Homecoming: Instead of just arriving home, plan a fun activity or trip with the family soon after you return. It gives everyone something to look forward to.
Helping Children Cope, Beyond the Remittances
Money solves some things, but emotions are tricky. Here’s how OFWs can emotionally support their children from afar:
- Listen Without Judgment: When your child talks, really listen. Don’t interrupt or judge. Just be there to hear them out, even if they’re just complaining about something small.
- Write Letters/Emails: A handwritten letter or email can be much more special than a quick text message. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a personal way. Some children will appreciate the gesture more, especially older children.
- Create a “Memory Box”: Send small items like pictures, souvenirs, or handwritten notes to your child. These mementos can provide comfort and a sense of connection.
- Celebrate Milestones Virtually: Even if you can’t be there in person, celebrate birthdays, graduations, and other important milestones with your child through video calls. Make it special with decorations, cake, and gifts.
- Be Their Role Model: Talk about your goals, challenges, and accomplishments. Show your child that you’re working hard and striving to succeed. Be a positive role model, even from afar.
Specific Activities OFW’s can do with children
- Virtual Story time: Schedule a time to read your child’s favorite books to them via video call. This is a great way to bond, encourage reading, and create positive associations with you.
- Online Games Together: Find age-appropriate online games that you can play together. This is a fun and engaging way to bond and spend quality time together.
- “Show and Tell” Sessions: Encourage your child to show you their toys, artwork, or school projects via video call. This is a great way to show interest in their hobbies and interests.
- Virtual Cooking or Baking: Find a simple recipe that you can both make at the same time via video call. This is a fun and interactive way to bond and learn new skills together.
- Language Exchange: Teach your child a few words or phrases in your host country’s language, and have them teach you some Filipino words or phrases. This is a fun and educational way to connect with each other’s cultures.
Focusing on the Spouse
Often the emotional strain on the spouse left behind is forgotten. Here’s how to support them:
- Express Appreciation Regularly: Tell your spouse how much you appreciate everything they do for the family. A simple “thank you” can go a long way.
- Share the Burden: Even from afar, find ways to help with the household responsibilities. Offer to pay for services like cleaning or childcare to ease their burden.
- Plan Date Nights (Virtually): Schedule a special time for just the two of you to connect. Watch a movie together online, have a virtual dinner date, or simply talk and reconnect.
- Be Understanding and Supportive: Acknowledge that your spouse is facing challenges and offer your support. Listen to their concerns and help them find solutions.
- Trust and Open Communication: Build a foundation of trust and open communication in your relationship. Be honest with each other and address any conflicts or concerns promptly.
When Is The Right Time To Return Home?
Deciding when to return home for good is a deeply personal decision, but here are some questions to consider:
- Financial Stability: Do you have enough savings to support your family for a reasonable period while you look for work or start a business?
- Career Prospects: What are the employment opportunities in your field back home? Have you researched the job market and updated your skills?
- Family Needs: What are your family’s needs and priorities? Are your children approaching important milestones like high school or college?
- Personal Well-being: Are you feeling burnt out or homesick? Is your mental and physical health suffering from being away from your family?
- Long-Term Goals: What are your long-term goals for yourself and your family? Can you achieve those goals by staying abroad or returning home?
FAQ Section
Q: My children resent me for being away. What can I do?
It’s understandable that your children feel resentful. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences. Make an extra effort to connect with them through regular video calls, personalized gifts, and active participation in their lives. Focus on building a stronger emotional connection, even from a distance. Seek guidance from a family therapist if needed.
Q: My spouse and I are constantly fighting. How can we improve our communication?
Long-distance relationships are tough. Schedule regular, dedicated time to talk to each other without distractions. Practice active listening and try to understand each other’s perspectives. Avoid blaming or criticizing. Consider couples therapy, which can provide tools and strategies for effective communication.
Q: I’m overwhelmed with debt back home. How can I manage my finances better?
Create a detailed budget that tracks your income and expenses. Prioritize debt repayment and avoid taking on new debts. Seek advice from a financial advisor to develop a debt management plan. Explore options like debt consolidation or debt counseling. Be disciplined in sticking to your budget and financial goals.
Q: I feel lonely and isolated working abroad. How can I cope?
Find ways to connect with other OFWs and build a support network. Join social groups, attend community events, or volunteer for causes you care about. Stay in touch with friends and family back home. Engage in hobbies and activities that you enjoy. Seek counseling if you’re feeling depressed or anxious. Remember, you’re not alone.
Q: I’m planning to return home but I’m afraid of not finding a job. What should I do?
Start preparing for your return well in advance. Update your resume and skills. Network with potential employers. Explore entrepreneurship opportunities. Save a portion of your earnings to provide a financial safety net. Seek assistance from OWWA’s reintegration programs. Don’t be afraid to start small and be open to different career paths.
Q: My children are being spoiled by relatives. How do I address this?
Have an open and honest conversation with your relatives about your concerns. Set clear boundaries and expectations for how your children should be treated. Work together to create a consistent parenting approach. Remind your children about the value of hard work and financial responsibility.
Q: How can I ensure my remittances are used wisely?
Have open and honest conversations with your family about financial planning. Create a budget and set financial goals together. Involve your family in decision-making about how the remittances will be used. Explore investment options and teach your family about financial literacy. Monitor your expenses and ensure that your money is being used responsibly.
References
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas. (Year). Official Remittance Data.
Philippine Institute for Development Studies (PIDS). (Year). Studies on Social Costs of Migration.
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA). (Year). Reintegration Programs and Services.
The Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO). (Year). Emigrant Statistics.
This Article uses statistics based on general estimates and data published on official Government websites.
Becoming an OFW can be a life-changing decision. While it offers the potential for financial improvement, it’s vital to acknowledge the possible negative impact on your family. Open communication, thoughtful planning, and proactive efforts to stay connected can make all the difference. But don’t just read – act! Talk to your family today. Discuss your finances, your emotions, and your future together. Make a plan for staying connected and supporting each other. Being an OFW is hard, but it doesn’t have to break your family. Take control of your situation, prioritize your family’s well-being, and actively build a stronger, healthier future – together.
