Homesickness is a tough part of being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker), and it doesn’t just affect the one working abroad. It touches the whole family. The good news is, there are ways to fight it together. This is your guide for OFW families on how to support each other through the pangs of missing home.
Understanding Homesickness: It’s More Than Just Missing Home
Homesickness isn’t just a simple feeling of missing your family; it can be a complex mix of emotions. It’s longing for the familiar sights, sounds, tastes, and the comfortable routines you left behind. For OFWs, this can be amplified by the challenges of adjusting to a new culture, a new job, and perhaps even a new language. Think about it, you’re not just missing your family during special occasions like birthdays or fiestas (festivals); you’re missing the everyday moments – a shared merienda (afternoon snack), a comforting hug, or just knowing someone’s always there to listen.
For those left behind, homesickness translates into missing the OFW’s presence, their help around the house, and the emotional support they used to provide. It’s the empty chair at the dinner table, the unread bedtime stories, and the silent phone calls that make the absence even more pronounced.
The symptoms can vary. An OFW might feel anxious, sad, lonely, or even angry. They might have trouble sleeping, lose their appetite, or constantly think about home. Family members back home might experience similar feelings, along with a sense of worry and guilt. They might feel guilty for enjoying things while the OFW is struggling, or worried because they can’t be there to offer direct support.
Open Communication: The Foundation of Support
The first, and arguably most important, step in combating homesickness is open communication. Talk about your feelings! It’s okay to admit you’re struggling. Don’t bottle up your emotions. This applies to both the OFW and the family back home. Share your experiences, both good and bad. Talk about your day, your challenges at work, your funny encounters, and your worries about the future. The key is to keep the lines of communication flowing.
Schedule regular video calls. Don’t just rely on text messages. Seeing each other’s faces can make a world of difference. Even a short, 15-minute video call can help bridge the distance and make you feel more connected. Try to set a consistent time for these calls, taking into consideration the time difference. This creates a sense of routine and predictability, making it easier to look forward to these virtual reunions.
Use messaging apps like WhatsApp, Viber, or Messenger to share photos and videos throughout the day. This allows you to stay updated on each other’s lives in real-time. Share pictures of your lunch, a funny meme, or a beautiful sunset. It’s the little things that add up and create a sense of togetherness.
Don’t be afraid to discuss the difficult stuff. Homesickness can lead to feelings of resentment or misunderstandings. If you’re starting to feel frustrated or resentful, address it directly, but do so with kindness and understanding. Remember, both parties are facing unique challenges. Try to put yourself in each other’s shoes and see things from their perspective. Active listening is crucial. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. Ask clarifying questions and summarize what you’ve heard to ensure you understand their feelings.
Creating Shared Experiences Despite the Distance
Just because you’re physically apart doesn’t mean you can’t share experiences. Get creative! Find ways to participate in each other’s lives, even from afar.
Watch movies or TV shows together. Thanks to streaming services like Netflix and Disney+, you can watch the same movie or TV show at the same time, even if you’re thousands of miles apart. Discuss the plot, the characters and compare notes afterwards. This gives you something to bond over and creates a shared memory. You can even find browser extensions that allow you to synchronize playback and chat with each other while watching.
Play online games together. There are countless online games available, from simple puzzle games to complex role-playing games. Find a game that you both enjoy and play together regularly. This is a fun and engaging way to connect and spend quality time together.
Cook or bake the same meal. Choose a Filipino dish that you both love and cook it at the same time, each in your own kitchen. Share photos of your culinary creations and compare notes on the recipe. This is a great way to share a cultural experience and remind each other of home. It can be as simple as cooking adobo or baking ube flavored goodies. The important thing is to connect and have fun.
Read the same book. Choose a book that you both find interesting and read it together. Discuss the plot, the characters, and the themes. This is a great way to stimulate your minds and engage in meaningful conversations. You can even join an online book club together to discuss the book with other readers.
Celebrate special occasions together virtually. Don’t let distance stop you from celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays together. Plan a virtual party or surprise celebration. Order food online and have it delivered to each other’s doorsteps. Sing Happy Birthday over video call, or give a toast during a virtual anniversary dinner. These gestures, no matter how small they seem, can make a big difference in making the OFW and the family feel connected.
Coping Strategies for the OFW
Being an OFW comes with its own unique set of challenges. Here are some coping strategies specifically for those working abroad.
Build a support network. Connect with other OFWs in your area. Join Filipino community groups or organizations. Share your experiences, your struggles, and your triumphs. Having a support network of people who understand what you’re going through can be invaluable. You can find these groups on social media or through local Filipino consulates or embassies.
Stay connected to your culture. Find ways to maintain your connection to Filipino culture. Listen to Filipino music, watch Filipino movies, and cook Filipino food. Participate in Filipino cultural events in your area. This helps you feel more connected to your roots and less isolated in your new environment.
Establish a routine. A sense of routine can provide structure and stability in a foreign land. Set a regular schedule for work, exercise, meals, and leisure activities. This can help you feel more grounded and in control of your life.
Engage in hobbies and interests. Find activities that you enjoy and that help you relax and de-stress. This could be anything from reading and writing to painting and playing sports. Engaging in hobbies and interests can help you take your mind off your worries and improve your overall well-being.
Practice mindfulness and self-care. Take time each day to practice mindfulness and self-care. This could involve meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply spending time in nature. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is crucial for coping with homesickness. Resources like the Mindful.org, provide basic guide to practice mindfulness.
Explore your new environment. Don’t be afraid to venture out and explore your new city or country. Visit local attractions, try new foods, and learn about the local culture. This can help you feel more integrated into your new environment and less homesick for your old life.
Supporting the Family Back Home
It’s just as important to support the family members who are left behind. They’re facing their own set of challenges and need your understanding and support. Here’s how you can help.
Be present, even from afar. Make an effort to be involved in their lives, even if you can’t be there physically. Attend virtual school events, offer advice on important decisions, and celebrate their achievements. This shows them that you care and that you’re still an important part of their lives.
Listen to their concerns. Be patient and understanding when they share their worries and frustrations. Don’t dismiss their feelings or tell them to “just get over it.” Acknowledge their emotions and offer your support. Ask questions like “What do you need from me?” “How can I help?” Show them compassion in action.
Provide financial support, but also emotional support. While financial support is important, it’s not the only thing that matters. Make sure that you’re also providing emotional support and encouragement. Let them know that you appreciate their sacrifices and that you’re proud of them.
Encourage them to pursue their own interests. Encourage your family members to pursue their own hobbies, interests, and goals. This can help them feel more fulfilled and less dependent on you. It also helps them develop a strong sense of self and build their own support networks.
Help with household chores and responsibilities virtually When you can, remotely assist with tasks like paying bills or managing appointments, easing some of the burdens on your family. This can be achieved with online banking, or setting up auto-payments or even just assisting with the search for qualified service providers when something need fixing. This simple gestures helps tremendously.
Most of all, be patient with them. It takes time to adjust to life without you, and they may have good days and bad days. Be understanding and supportive, and let them know that you’re there for them.
Leveraging Technology to Stay Connected
Technology is your best friend when fighting homesickness. Embrace it and use it to your advantage.
Explore video conferencing features. Services like Zoom, Google Meet, and Skype offer features beyond basic video calls. Use screen sharing to help your kids with homework, play online games together, or even virtually attend family events. Share your screen to point out landmarks during family video calls.
Use social media wisely. While social media can be a great way to stay connected, it can also contribute to feelings of homesickness if you’re constantly seeing pictures of your family and friends having fun without you. Be mindful of how much time you’re spending on social media and unfollow accounts that trigger negative emotions.
Create a private online group. Start a private group on Facebook or another platform where you can share photos, videos, and updates with just your family. This is a great way to keep everyone connected and ensure that important moments aren’t missed.
Embrace virtual reality. Virtual reality technology is becoming increasingly accessible and affordable. Use VR to take virtual tours of your hometown, visit your favorite landmarks, or even attend virtual concerts and events with your family. It is a great way to feel immersed and present in an alternate reality.
Utilize language translation apps. If there’s a language barrier involved, use translation apps to help you communicate with your family more effectively. This can be especially helpful if you’re trying to learn a new language or if your family members don’t speak English.
Seeking Professional Help: When to Reach Out
Sometimes, homesickness can become overwhelming and interfere with your ability to function. If you’re experiencing persistent symptoms of anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, it’s important to seek professional help. Check your options below:
Consult with a therapist or counselor. There are many therapists and counselors who specialize in working with OFWs and their families. They can provide you with support, guidance, and coping strategies to help you manage your homesickness.
Connect with support groups. Joining a support group for OFWs or their families can provide you with a sense of community and help you feel less alone. You can share your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through and learn from their coping strategies.
Reach out to your employer. Many companies that hire OFWs offer employee assistance programs (EAPs) that provide access to mental health services. Check with your employer to see what resources are available to you.
Contact your embassy or consulate. Your embassy or consulate can provide you with information about local resources and support services. They can also help you connect with other Filipinos in your area.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s important to take care of your mental and emotional well-being, especially when you’re living and working abroad.
Planning for Return: A Light at the End of the Tunnel
Having a plan for your eventual return home can provide a sense of hope and motivation, and it’s a topic the whole family can discuss together.
Set a target date. Even if it’s years in the future, having a target date for your return can help you stay focused and motivated. This gives you something to work towards and look forward to. Make it known and visible to everyone and discuss the implications that affects the whole family.
Start saving for your future. A well-thought-out financial plan alleviates many uncertainties and creates more possibilities in the future. Develop a savings plan to ensure that you have enough money to support yourself and your family when you return home. Consider investing in opportunities that will generate income in the long term. There are many resources available to help you create a budget and manage your finances.
Think about your goals for the future. What do you want to do when you return home? Do you want to start a business, buy a house, or pursue further education? Having clear goals can help you stay focused and motivated during your time aborad and during the transition to living in the Philippines once again.
Discuss your plans with your family. Involve your family in your plans for the future. Get their input and support. This will help them feel more involved and invested in your journey.
Prepare for the transition. Returning home can be a challenging transition. Be prepared for potential culture shock, financial adjustments, and relationship changes. Talk to other OFWs who have returned home and learn from their experiences.
Remember why you left in the first place. Remind yourself of the reasons why you decided to work abroad. This can help you stay motivated and focused during difficult times. Recall the aspirations and dreams you have for the family. Remember the reasons to be hopeful.
FAQ Section
What are some signs that I might be experiencing homesickness?
Homesickness can manifest in many ways. Common signs include feeling sad, lonely, anxious, or irritable. You might also experience difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, or a constant preoccupation with thoughts of home. Physically, you might feel lethargic or have unexplained aches and pains. If these feelings persist for more than a few weeks and interfere with your daily life, it’s important to address them.
How can I help my child cope with the absence of a parent who is working abroad?
Children process separation differently depending on their age. Ensure open and honest communication tailored to their understanding, involving them in video calls, and maintaining family routines. Reassure them of the OFW’s love and commitment, and create a scrapbook of shared memories. If possible, keep the OFW’s room untouched to provide a constant presence.
My spouse seems resentful that I’m working abroad. How can I address this?
Resentment can stem from a feeling of unequal burden, so have an open and empathetic conversation with your spouse about their experience. Acknowledge their feelings, validate their struggles, and actively listen to their concerns. Offer to take on more responsibilities remotely when possible, and express your appreciation for their sacrifices. Consider couple’s therapy if communication remains a challenge.
How do I deal with the guilt I feel about missing important events back home?
Guilt is a common emotion for OFWs. Remind yourself of the sacrifices you’re making for your family’s long-term well-being. Find ways to participate in special events virtually, send thoughtful gifts, and express your love and support. Focus on the positive impact of your work and the opportunities it provides for your family’s future. Plan your visits back and create lasting memories.
What are some affordable ways to communicate with my family back home?
Utilize free messaging apps like WhatsApp, Viber, or Messenger for text and video calls. Take advantage of free Wi-Fi hotspots and public internet access. Look for affordable international calling plans or prepaid SIM cards. Share digital photos and videos through cloud storage services. Set up a family email account to share updates and letters.
My family is constantly asking for money. How can I set boundaries?
Openly discuss your financial situation and create a realistic budget together. Explain your financial goals and limitations. Prioritize essential needs over wants. Set clear boundaries and communicate them respectfully. Encourage financial literacy and responsible spending. Consider setting up a separate savings account for emergencies.
I am feeling isolated. How can I build a support network in my new country?
Join Filipino organizations, community groups, or religious gatherings in your area. Attend cultural events and social gatherings. Participate in online forums and social media groups for OFWs. Volunteer your time to local charities or organizations. Connect with colleagues at work. Be open to meeting new people and building relationships.
References
There are no links to add, but here are some trusted sources you can refer to:
Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA)
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA)
World Health Organization (WHO)
National Center for Mental Health (NCMH Philippines)
American Psychological Association
Fighting homesickness as an OFW family is definitely challenging. But remember, you’re not alone, and with open communication, shared experiences, and a strong support system, you can navigate the distance and stay connected. It won’t always be easy sailing, so be patient, be kind, and remind yourselves that everything you’re working toward now is going to be the foundation of a more stable and loving family relationship in the future.
