Being an OFW is tough. You’re working hard in a new country, but your heart is always back home with your family in the Philippines. It’s natural for them to feel homesick, even in their own home, because you’re not there. This article is here to give you practical tips on how to create a stronger sense of home for your loved ones, even from thousands of miles away.
Understanding the Roots of Homesickness
Homesickness isn’t just about missing a physical place; it’s about missing the emotional connections, the routines, and the sense of belonging that makes a place feel like “home.” For your family, this can be amplified by your absence. They might miss your daily presence, your comforting words, your role in household decisions, and the unique way you contribute to the family dynamic. Understanding these specific aspects of what they miss will help you tailor your efforts to address them more effectively. For instance, maybe your child misses your bedtime stories, or your spouse misses your help with household chores. Talking openly about these feelings is the first important step.
Regular Communication: The Lifeline
In today’s world, staying connected is easier than ever. Don’t just rely on occasional calls. Schedule regular video calls – even short ones – so your family can see your face and hear your voice. These calls don’t have to be long and formal; they can be casual chats about their day, just like you’re there in person. Instead of just asking “How was your day?”, try more specific questions: “What was the funniest thing that happened at school today?” or “Did you try that new recipe you were talking about?”. Services like Viber, WhatsApp, Messenger, and Zoom offer free or low-cost video calling, making it accessible no matter where you are. A study has shown the positive impact of regular communication on the well-being of families separated by distance; it helps reduce anxiety and strengthens bonds. For example, if you always read a bedtime story to your child, try doing it virtually! It might seem silly, but it can make a big difference. Set a schedule that works for everyone (considering time differences!) and stick to it as much as possible.
Creating Shared Experiences Despite the Distance
Just because you’re not physically present doesn’t mean you can’t share experiences. Watch movies or TV shows together using streaming platforms like Netflix or Disney+. You can even have a virtual “movie night” by starting the movie at the same time and chatting about it during or after. Play online games together! There are tons of family-friendly games available on mobile devices or computers that you can play together, regardless of location. Coordinate meals. Agree on a recipe and each of you can prepare the meal “together,” enjoying it at the same time while video chatting. This creates a sense of togetherness and shared experience. Celebrating birthdays and holidays is also very important. Send gifts, cards, and plan a special video call to celebrate. Consider setting up a small video projector and screen for them to watch messages or videos you create. Even better, coordinate with loved ones nearby to celebrate a small party on your behalf, video-calling to join the fun!
Maintaining Filipino Traditions and Culture
Culture is a strong anchor for identity and belonging. Encourage your family to maintain Filipino traditions and customs. Celebrate Filipino holidays with special meals, decorations, and activities. Cook Filipino food together. Encourage your children to learn and speak Tagalog or their local dialect. Share stories about Filipino history and culture. Listen to Filipino music and watch Filipino movies and TV shows. This helps to keep them connected to their heritage and reinforces their sense of belonging. For example, during Christmas, they could prepare traditional Filipino dishes like lechon, adobo, and pancit. They could also put up traditional Filipino decorations like parol (Christmas lanterns) and belen (Nativity scene). You can even participate in these activities virtually, by helping to plan the meals, watching the movies together, or learning Tagalog alongside them! Also, ensure that the children remember the Filipino cultural practices such as “pagmamano” to show respect to elders.
Involving Yourself in Important Decisions
Just because you’re away doesn’t mean you should be excluded from important family decisions. Make sure your family knows that you want to be involved in their lives and that your opinion matters. Discuss important decisions with them, such as school choices, financial matters, and major purchases. Your involvement will not only make them feel more secure but also prevent the feeling of abandonment and isolation. You can even use video conferencing to attend school meetings or family conferences. If it’s a financial decision, for example, you could research options together online and discuss the pros and cons. Stay informed about their lives and offer your support and guidance.
Creating a Comfortable and Personal Space
Ensure that your family’s home feels like a safe and comfortable haven. This could involve decorating the house in a way that reflects their personality and interests. Make sure they have everything they need to live comfortably and independently. Consider sending them decorations from your location, or allowing them to pick out new things to add to their rooms and the house. Personalizing their space is key. Don’t forget to include pictures of you – both recent and from the past. It reminds them that you are still part of their lives, even though you’re physically away. Create a visual reminder in the house, such as a photo album or a collage of pictures, so they can easily have access to memories with you. This is especially important for young children.
Empowering Your Spouse or Caretaker
Being the parent or spouse left behind while you’re working abroad is a big responsibility. Make sure your spouse or caretaker feels supported and empowered. Acknowledge their hard work and sacrifices. Give them the authority and autonomy to make decisions. Regularly check in on them and offer your support. Help them find resources and support groups in the community. The Philippine government provides resources and support programs for families of OFWs, which you can use to your advantage. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) offers various programs, including livelihood training, education assistance, and counseling. Help them explore these options. Also, encourage them to pursue their own interests and hobbies. This will help them maintain their well-being and prevent them from feeling overwhelmed.
Financial Security and Planning
Financial security is crucial for a family’s well-being. Ensure that your family has a stable source of income and a well-managed budget. Discuss financial goals and plans with them. Help them understand how to save and invest money wisely. Teach them about financial literacy and responsible spending. Remittances play a significant role in the Philippine economy, with OFWs contributing substantially to the country’s GDP. According to the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP), cash remittances from OFWs reached historic levels. Make a plan for how remittances are used, and track carefully. Explore automatic money transfer options to ensure consistent support. The financial stability you will provide can help ease the stress and anxiety that might arise from your absence.
Building a Strong Support System
While you can provide emotional and financial support from afar, it’s crucial for your family to have a strong support system in the Philippines. Encourage them to maintain close relationships with family and friends. Help them connect with community groups and organizations. Ensure that they have someone they can rely on for help and support in your absence. If possible, coordinate with family members or close friends to provide additional support to your loved ones. For instance, ask a relative to check in on them regularly or to attend school events on your behalf. Building and maintaining this support system can provide stability and a sense of belonging, so that your family would not feel alone.
Planning for Your Return
Knowing that you’re working towards a definite return can significantly reduce feelings of homesickness. Talk to your family about your plans for returning home. Set a realistic timeline and share it with them. Discuss what you plan to do when you return. This will give them something to look forward to and help them stay positive. In the meantime, involve them in the planning process. For instance, ask them what activities they would like to do together when you return. Talk about future goals and dreams. Discussing the future will strengthen your bond and increase the sense of belonging and togetherness. Planning for your return will also help you to focus on your goals and stay motivated while working abroad.
Prioritizing Self-Care for Your Family
Encourage your family members to prioritize self-care. This includes taking care of their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Encourage them to exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, and get enough sleep. Remind them that it’s okay to seek help if they’re struggling with their mental health. There are resources available in the Philippines that can provide mental health support, such as the Department of Health’s (DOH) National Mental Health Program. Remind them to practice relaxation techniques such as meditation or deep breathing. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time with friends. Self-care is essential for maintaining overall well-being and coping with the challenges of your absence.
Addressing Children’s Feelings Specifically
Children may have a harder time understanding why you’re away. Be patient and understanding when dealing with their emotions. Explain to them in simple terms why you need to work abroad. Let them know that you love them and miss them very much. Reassure them that you’re working hard to provide for their future. Encourage them to express their feelings and listen to their concerns. Read children’s books about families separated by distance. Create a scrapbook or memory box filled with photos and mementos. Schedule regular one-on-one time with each child, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Use age-appropriate language and activities when communicating with them. For example, younger children might enjoy drawing pictures or playing games with you during video calls, while older children might enjoy having more in-depth conversations. Be flexible and adaptable to their needs.
Managing Expectations and Being Realistic
It’s important to be realistic about what you can and cannot do from abroad. You can’t replace your physical presence, but you can strive to be emotionally present in their lives. Manage your family’s expectations and let them know what they can expect from you. Be honest about your limitations and challenges. Remind them that you’re doing your best to support them. Communicate openly about your feelings and concerns. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Focus on building a strong and loving relationship, even from a distance. Acknowledge that there will be setbacks and challenges along the way. Be prepared to adapt and adjust your strategies as needed. The key is to be flexible, understanding, and committed to making it work.
Celebrating Small Wins and Milestones
Don’t forget to celebrate small wins and milestones! Acknowledge your family’s accomplishments, both big and small. Celebrate good grades, sports achievements, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Send cards, gifts, or plan a special video call to celebrate. These celebrations will help to reinforce a sense of belonging and connectedness. It also shows your family that they are valued and appreciated, even from a distance. Recognize their efforts and achievements, to build their self-esteem and motivation.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about helping your family cope with homesickness while you’re working as an OFW:
How can I tell if my child is homesick?
Homesickness in children can manifest in different ways. They might become withdrawn, irritable, or anxious. They might complain of physical ailments, such as headaches or stomach aches. They might have difficulty sleeping or eating. They might cling to familiar objects or people. Pay attention to any changes in their behavior or mood and talk to them openly about their feelings.
What if my spouse is struggling to cope with my absence?
It’s important to acknowledge and validate your spouse’s feelings. Let them know that you understand their struggles and that you’re there for them. Encourage them to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Help them find activities that they enjoy and that can help them relax and de-stress. Make sure they have the resources they need to manage the household and take care of the family. Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and concerns.
How can I manage the time difference when communicating with my family?
Managing the time difference can be challenging, but it’s important to find a schedule that works for everyone. Communicate with your family to determine the best times for video calls and phone calls. Be flexible and willing to adjust your schedule as needed. Use a time zone converter to ensure that you’re calling at the right time. Be mindful of holidays and special occasions.
What are some ways to stay connected without spending a lot of money?
There are many ways to stay connected without breaking the bank. Use free video calling apps such as Viber, WhatsApp, and Messenger. Take advantage of free Wi-Fi hotspots. Send emails and text messages. Write letters or postcards. Share photos and videos on social media. Look for affordable international calling plans. Many telecommunications companies offer special rates for OFWs.
How can I help my family build a stronger sense of community?
Encourage your family to participate in local events and activities. Help them connect with community groups and organizations. Suggest that they volunteer their time. Encourage them to get to know their neighbors. Attend church or other religious services. Support local businesses and organizations. Building a strong sense of community can help them feel more connected and supported.
If you are facing mental health concern, what action should be taken?
Reach out to a mental health professional! There are available resources to tap to assist you! You may contact hotlines in the Philippines: National Mental Health Crisis Hotline: 1553.
References
- Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP)
- Department of Health (DOH), National Mental Health Program
- Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA)
Being an OFW is a huge sacrifice, but it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your connection with your family. By implementing these simple yet effective tips, you can bridge the distance, create a sense of home for your loved ones, and strengthen your family bonds, all while working towards a brighter future together. This is not just about sending money; it’s about sending love, support, and a sense of belonging. So, start implementing these strategies today and watch your family thrive, even while you’re miles away. Reconnect, rebuild, and reassure your family back home – they need you.
