Leaving your family to work abroad as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is a big decision, filled with both excitement and sadness. It’s normal to feel guilty about leaving, but with careful planning and open communication, you can make the transition smoother for everyone involved. This article provides simple, practical steps to help you prepare yourself and your family for the separation, so you can focus on your work and build a brighter future without the weight of excessive guilt.
Understanding the OFW Experience and Its Impact
Being an OFW is more than just a job; it’s a lifestyle choice that affects the entire family unit. It’s helpful to acknowledge the impact of this choice, both positive and negative, on each family member. The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) regularly publishes reports on overseas Filipino workers, which can provide valuable insights into the demographics, deployment patterns, and economic contributions of OFWs. For instance, you might find data about the typical length of contracts or the regions where most OFWs are deployed.
Consider the emotional impact on your spouse. They will likely take on more responsibilities at home and may feel lonely. Your children might miss having you around for important milestones. Acknowledge these feelings and create a plan to address them. What responsibilities will your spouse be taking over? How will you stay connected with your children?
Preparing Yourself Mentally and Emotionally
One of the first steps is self-care. Prepare yourself for the emotional challenges ahead. Acknowledge that feeling sad, anxious, or even guilty is normal. Don’t bottle up your emotions; instead, find healthy ways to cope. This could involve talking to a trusted friend, family member, or spiritual advisor. It’s also a good idea to research the culture and customs of your host country to minimize culture shock.
Consider joining support groups for OFWs or connecting with other Filipinos who are already working in your destination country. Sharing experiences and advice with others who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) often provides pre-departure orientation seminars (PDOS) that cover these topics, alongside practical information about work conditions, legal rights, and financial management.
Communicating Openly With Your Family
Honest and open communication is key to mitigating guilt and fostering strong family bonds. Don’t shy away from discussing your feelings and concerns with your family. Explain why you’ve decided to work abroad, and emphasize that you’re doing it for their well-being. Listen to their fears and anxieties, and reassure them that you will always be there for them, even from a distance.
Avoid making empty promises. Instead, focus on what you can realistically do. For example, promise to call or video chat regularly at specific times. Agree on how important decisions will be made while you’re away. Will your spouse have the final say on financial matters? How will you be involved in decisions about your children’s education?
Creating a Financial Plan
Financial stability is a major motivation for many OFWs, but it’s important to have a clear plan for managing your earnings. Before you leave, sit down with your family and create a detailed budget. This will help you prioritize your expenses and ensure that you’re saving enough money for your future goals. Discuss how remittances will be used and who will be responsible for managing the funds. It is wise to separate needs from mere wants, and ensure that savings are being prioritized. Remember, money needs to be respected as it does not grow on trees.
Consider opening a separate savings account specifically for your family’s future needs, such as education, healthcare, or retirement. Automate your savings by setting up regular transfers from your remittance account to your savings account. This will help you avoid the temptation to spend the money on unnecessary things. You can refer to the website of the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP), the central bank of the Philippines, for tips on financial literacy and saving strategies.
Preparing for Practical Matters
Before you leave, take care of any practical matters that could cause stress for your family in your absence. This could include paying bills in advance, setting up automatic payments, and making sure that your important documents are organized and easily accessible. Teach your spouse or a trusted family member how to handle basic household repairs, such as changing a lightbulb or unclogging a drain. These little things can make a big difference in reducing their stress levels.
Also, make sure that your family knows who to contact in case of an emergency. Provide them with the contact information of your employer, the Philippine embassy or consulate in your host country, and trusted friends or relatives who can provide support. The Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) offers assistance to Filipinos abroad, so it’s important to be aware of the services they provide.
Maintaining Strong Family Bonds From Afar
Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected with your family, no matter how far away you are. Schedule regular video calls with your spouse and children. Make an effort to be present during these calls. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and focus on listening to what your family has to say. Even a short, focused conversation can be more meaningful than a longer, distracted one.
Find creative ways to stay involved in your children’s lives. Read them bedtime stories over video chat, help them with their homework, or attend their school events virtually. Send them letters, cards, and small gifts to let them know you’re thinking of them. Little gestures of love and affection can go a long way in maintaining strong family bonds.
Dealing with Homesickness and Loneliness
Homesickness and loneliness are common experiences for OFWs. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways to cope. Connect with other Filipinos in your host country. Join a Filipino community group, attend cultural events, or volunteer your time. Sharing your culture with others can help you feel more connected to home.
Stay active and take care of your physical health. Exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep. Physical activity can help boost your mood and reduce stress. Learn a new hobby or skill. This will give you something to focus on and help you feel more productive. The key takeaway is to make sure that you’re feeding your spirit. Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely.
Cultivating a Positive Mindset
Your mindset plays a crucial role in your overall well-being as an OFW. Focus on the positive aspects of your experience, such as the opportunity to earn a better income and provide for your family. Remember why you made the decision to work abroad in the first place. Visualize your goals and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. You might be surprised at how far you’ve come.
Practice gratitude by focusing on the things you’re thankful for. Keep a journal and write down the things you appreciate each day. This will help you cultivate a more positive outlook on life. Surround yourself with positive influences. Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or situations. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.
Managing Expectations and Adjusting to Change
Life as an OFW is full of surprises. Things may not always go according to plan. It’s important to be flexible and adaptable to change. Be prepared to adjust your expectations and adapt to new situations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Reach out to your employer, your fellow OFWs, or the Philippine embassy or consulate for support.
It’s also important to manage your family’s expectations. Explain to them that you may not be able to send as much money home as you initially hoped or that you may not be able to come home as often as you’d like. Be realistic about the challenges you’re facing and reassure them that you’re doing your best. Over communicate rather than under communicate!
Addressing Marital Challenges
Long-distance relationships can be challenging. It’s important to proactively address any potential marital issues that may arise during your time abroad. Maintain open and honest communication with your spouse. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Make time for each other, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Send each other messages, photos, and videos to stay connected.
Schedule regular “date nights” over video chat. Cook a meal together, watch a movie, or play a game. Find ways to keep the romance alive. Seek professional counseling if you’re struggling to cope with the challenges of a long-distance marriage. There are many resources available to help couples maintain a healthy relationship, even when they’re apart. Both partners should commit to making the marriage work and be patient with one another.
Planning for Your Return Home
While working abroad, it’s important to start planning for your eventual return home. Decide when you want to come back and what you want to do when you get there. Do you want to start a business, buy a house, or retire? Set realistic goals and create a plan to achieve them. This will give you something to look forward to and help you stay motivated.
Start saving money for your return. The sooner you start saving, the more money you’ll have when you come home. Invest your money wisely to help it grow. Consult with a financial advisor to learn about different investment options. Begin to transition your skills. Learn something new or earn an additional credential that may be useful once you’re back home for good. The key is to look forward into a future where you no longer have to leave your family to find work. The end goal is for you to have a life with the family you spent so much time away from.
FAQ Section
What are some common feelings OFWs experience before leaving for work abroad?
Many OFWs feel a mix of emotions, including excitement about the opportunity, anxiety about the unknown, sadness about leaving their families, and guilt about the sacrifices they and their families are making. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings as normal and find healthy ways to cope.
How can I ease my child’s anxiety about my departure?
Talk to your child in a language they understand. Let them know that you love them and that you’re doing this for their future. Promise to stay in touch regularly and find creative ways to stay involved in their lives, such as reading them bedtime stories over video chat or helping them with their homework. Create a countdown calendar together to mark the days until your next visit.
What should I do if I’m feeling homesick and lonely?
Connect with other Filipinos in your host country. Join a Filipino community group, attend cultural events, or volunteer your time. Stay active and take care of your physical health. Learn a new hobby or skill. Most importantly, remember why you decided to work abroad and focus on your goals.
How can I maintain a strong relationship with my spouse while working abroad?
Communicate openly and honestly with your spouse. Make time for each other, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Send each other messages, photos, and videos to stay connected. Schedule regular “date nights” over video chat. Be patient and understanding, and seek professional counseling if needed.
What are some tips for managing my finances as an OFW?
Create a detailed budget and stick to it. Prioritize your expenses and save a portion of your income for your future goals. Avoid impulsive spending and be wary of scams. Consult with a financial advisor to learn about different investment options. Track your expenses and review your budget regularly. Always remember to seek assistance from legitimate sources whenever possible.
Call To Action
The path of an OFW is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s also filled with opportunities for growth, both personally and professionally. By taking the time to prepare yourself and your family for the separation, you can minimize the guilt and maximize the benefits of your experience. Don’t let guilt hold you back from pursuing your dreams and providing a better future for your family. Take action today! Talk to your loved ones, create a plan, and start taking steps towards a more secure and fulfilling future. Your sacrifices won’t be in vain. Start small by sharing this article on social media with your fellow OFWs! You are not alone – and you’ve got this!
References
Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) Reports on Overseas Filipino Workers
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) Pre-Departure Orientation Seminars (PDOS)
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) Financial Literacy Resources
Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) Assistance to Nationals
