Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) means making huge sacrifices, often including being away from your children. While providing for their future financially is crucial, so is making sure they grow up with Filipino values. This article is all about how to instill those values, even when you’re miles away.
The Importance of Filipino Values
Filipino values are the heart of our culture. They’re what make us uniquely Filipino. Think about things like respect (paggalang), especially for elders. This isn’t just about saying “po” and “opo,” but truly listening to and valuing their wisdom. Then there’s family unity (pakikipagkapwa-tao), the deep connection we feel and the readiness to help each other out. And let’s not forget resilience (tibay ng loob), our ability to bounce back from tough times with a smile. These values shape our character and guide our actions.
Challenges Faced by OFW Families
Let’s be honest, raising kids when one parent is an OFW is tough. There’s the obvious emotional gap, the feeling of missing out on milestones. Kids might feel sad, angry, or confused. The remaining parent often feels overwhelmed, juggling everything from homework to household chores. According to this 2020 study from the Philippine Statistics Authority, a significant percentage of Filipino children grow up with at least one parent working overseas, highlighting the scale of this situation. Maintaining discipline can be harder, too, especially when the OFW parent mostly communicates through video calls and sporadic visits. The temptation for the remaining parent and sometimes the children to overspend can also arise, given the increased income. It’s important to be aware of these challenges so you can address them head-on.
Building a Strong Foundation: Communication is Key
Even continents apart, communication is your lifeline. Don’t just stick to, “How was school?” and “Did you eat?” Dive deeper. Ask about their friends, their fears, their dreams. Schedule regular video calls – even short ones – to stay connected. Make it a routine, like story time before bed. If you can, send voice messages, explaining your day, your feelings, or even just singing them a song. Written letters – actual, physical letters – can be a really special way to bridge the distance. Imagine the excitement of receiving a handwritten note from their parent overseas! Consider creating a shared online journal where you both can write about your day, share photos, and leave messages.
Reinforcing Cultural Identity: Keeping Filipino Traditions Alive
Don’t let your kids forget their roots. Surround them with Filipino culture. Play Filipino music, watch Filipino movies and TV shows (think classics and age-appropriate modern content). Cook Filipino food together – adobong manok, sinigang, pancit – and share stories about your childhood while you cook. Celebrate Filipino holidays like Christmas and Independence Day with gusto! Decorate your home, play traditional games, and tell stories about the history and meaning behind the celebrations. During visits to the Philippines, make time for family gatherings, religious traditions, and cultural events. If possible, enroll them in Filipino language classes or cultural workshops. Even learning simple phrases like “Magandang araw po” is a start! Consider sending Filipino books and resources to help them learn about and connect with their heritage. This can foster a stronger sense of identity and belonging.
Role Modeling: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Remember, kids learn by watching you. So, even when you’re far away, your actions still speak volumes. If you’re constantly complaining or gossiping on your phone calls, that’s what your kids will pick up. Instead, show them the values you want them to embrace. Be respectful in your conversations, even when you’re frustrated. Show kindness and generosity to others, whether it’s donating to charity or helping a neighbor. Demonstrate hard work and perseverance in your own job. If you make a mistake, apologize and show them how to learn from it. Talk about Filipino heroes and their contributions to society. Share stories of resilience and overcoming challenges within your own family history.
The Role of the Caregiver: Building a Strong Support System
The person caring for your children while you’re away – whether it’s your spouse, a grandparent, or a relative – is your partner in nurturing your kids. Communicate openly with them. Discuss your expectations for your children’s behavior, values, and education. Support them in their role and acknowledge the challenges they face. Set clear boundaries and expectations for the caregiver, ensuring consistency in discipline and routines. Acknowledge their contributions and show your appreciation for their dedication. Make sure that the caregiver understands the importance of reinforcing Filipino values in your absence. Regularly discussing your concerns, challenges, and successes, will strengthen the caregiver’s ability to support your endeavors.
Discipline and Guidance: Staying Involved From Afar
Discipline doesn’t have to be all about punishments. Focus on positive reinforcement. Praise your children for their efforts and achievements, no matter how small. Encouraging them to reach the goals they aspire. Set clear rules and consequences, and make sure they understand them. If they break a rule, explain why it’s wrong and help them learn from their mistakes. Don’t resort to yelling or harsh punishments, especially over the phone. It can damage your relationship and make them feel resentful. Instead, try to have calm and rational conversations. Use technology to your advantage. Set up parental controls on their devices to monitor their online activity and limit their screen time. Regularly call school staff to show your involvement in your child’s learning. This level of visibility and participation will enable both to feel supported by you.
Financial Literacy: Teaching the Value of Money
One of the main reasons OFWs work abroad is to provide a better future for their families. But it’s important to teach your children about the value of money. Explain to them where money comes from and how hard you work to earn it. Involve them in simple budgeting exercises. For example, if they want a new toy, help them save up for it. Differentiate between needs and wants. When shopping, explain why you’re choosing one product over another. Encourage them to be responsible with their belongings and to avoid wasting resources. As they get older, teach them about saving, investing, and giving back to the community. This proactive approach will pave the way for economic empowerment and independence.
Addressing Emotional Needs: Being There When It Matters Most
Your children may feel lonely, sad, or anxious about your absence. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel that way. Don’t dismiss their emotions or tell them to “be strong.” Instead, offer them comfort and support. Listen to their concerns without judgment and validate their emotions. Help them find healthy ways to cope with their feelings, such as talking to a trusted adult, writing in a journal, or engaging in hobbies. Schedule regular “one-on-one” time, even if it’s just a quick phone call or video chat. Use this time to focus on their individual needs and interests. Observe their behavior and look for signs of distress. Seek professional help if you’re concerned about their mental health. Remember that your presence, even from afar, can make a huge difference in their emotional well-being.
Celebrating Successes: Acknowledging Achievements Big and Small
Don’t just focus on grades. Celebrate their efforts and achievements in all areas of their lives. Praise them for their hard work in school, their participation in extracurricular activities, their acts of kindness, and their personal growth. Acknowledge their talents and interests, and encourage them to pursue their passions. Send them small gifts or cards to celebrate special occasions or milestones. Display their artwork or school projects prominently in your home. Share their achievements with family and friends. Let them know how proud you are of them. Celebrating their successes, big and small, boost their self-esteem and inspires them to keep striving for excellence.
Balancing Tradition and Modernity: Adapting to a Changing World
While it’s important to instill Filipino values, it’s also important to prepare your children for the modern world. Help them develop critical thinking skills, problem-solving abilities, and adaptability. Encourage them to embrace new technologies and learn new skills. Teach them about cultural diversity and respect for other cultures. Help them navigate the challenges of social media and online communication. Remind them that being Filipino is not just about following traditions, but also about contributing to a better future for our country and the world. It’s about being a responsible global citizen while staying true to our roots.
Seeking Support: Connecting With Other OFW Families
You’re not alone in this journey. There are many other OFW families who understand the challenges you’re facing. Connect with them online or in your community. Share your experiences, ask for advice, and offer support. Join OFW support groups or organizations. If possible, attend seminars or workshops on parenting and family communication. You can find valuable information, resources, and emotional support. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re not alone can make a world of difference. Many Facebook groups cater to OFWs seeking advice and connection, providing a space for sharing experiences and information.
Future Planning: Setting Goals and Aspirations
Talk about the future with your children. Ask them what they dream of becoming and what kind of life they want to lead. Help them set realistic goals and create a plan to achieve them. Encourage them to pursue higher education or vocational training. Emphasize the importance of hard work, discipline, and perseverance. Talk about the sacrifices you’re making as an OFW to provide them with opportunities. Remind them that their success is your success. Collaboratively setting goals fosters a sense of purpose and motivates them to strive for a brighter future.
A Lasting Legacy: Passing on the Torch of Filipino Values
Instilling Filipino values in children raised with an OFW parent is a continuous journey requiring commitment, communication, and creativity. By keeping your roots alive, being present digitally and physically when possible, teaching financial responsibility, and seeking the right support, you may succeed in raising well-rounded individuals who appreciate their heritage and contribute positively to society. Even miles apart, you’ll eventually pass on your legacy of strength and love, demonstrating what it deeply means to be Filipino.
FAQ
Q: My child is having a hard time adjusting to my absence. What should I do?
A: Acknowledge their feelings and validate their emotions. Talk to them regularly and provide a listening ear to express their worries. Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, such as a family member or school counselor. Seek professional help if their feelings become severe.
Q: How can I make sure my child is respecting elders, even when I’m not there to remind them?
A: Consistently remind them of the importance of respect and model respectful behavior yourself. Emphasize the cultural significance of “po” and “opo.” Regularly involve elders in your conversations and activities, whenever possible. Positive reinforcement and consistent communication are key.
Q: My child is starting to spend excessive amounts of money. How can I teach them about financial responsibility?
A: Explain where money comes from and how hard you work to earn it. Involve them in simple budgeting exercises and help them save up for things they want. Differentiate “wants” from “needs.” Teach them basic principles about saving and investing. Consider opening a savings account in their name and encouraging them to contribute even small amounts to make them understand that money grows over time.
Q: I’m worried that my child is losing touch with Filipino culture. What can I do to keep their heritage alive?
A: Surround them with Filipino culture by playing Filipino music, watching Filipino movies, and cooking Filipino food together. Celebrate Filipino holidays with enthusiasm, tell stories about your childhood, and teach them about Filipino history and traditions. Consider enrolling them in Filipino language classes or cultural workshops when you visit the country.
Q: I feel guilty about being away from my child. How can I cope with these feelings?
A: Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that you are doing what you believe is best for your family. Focus on the positive aspects of your situation, such as providing financial security and opportunities for your children. Connect with other OFW families for support and understanding. Schedule regular “one-on-one” time with your child, and use that time to focus on your relationship and their needs. It’s important to take care of your own well-being, too. Pursue hobbies, exercise, and maintain connections with the people around you.
References
Philippine Statistics Authority
Ready to build a stronger connection with your child and ensure they grow up with a deep understanding of Filipino values? Start with one small step today. Schedule a weekly video call, start a shared online journal, or teach them a simple Filipino recipe. Remember, every effort counts! You can leave a legacy of love and values, even from across the miles; start building it today!
