Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough, especially when it comes to raising your kids from afar. It’s easy to worry about them losing touch with their Filipino roots. But don’t worry! Even though you’re miles away, you can still teach them important Filipino values and make sure they grow up proud of their heritage.
Why Filipino Values Matter
Filipino values are the heart of our culture. They guide how we treat each other, solve problems, and see the world. These values are like a compass, helping your children navigate life with kindness, respect, and a strong sense of community. They’re the secret sauce that makes Filipinos so resilient and warm. Preserving these values helps your kids connect with their identity and builds a stronger foundation for their future.
The Power of Bayanihan From a Distance
Bayanihan, the spirit of communal unity and cooperation, can still be taught even when you’re not physically present. Encourage your kids to help out at home, not just because they’re told to, but because they’re part of a family team. They can assist with chores, look after younger siblings, or even help elderly relatives remotely (like teaching them how to video call!). Remind them of the importance of supporting their community, even if it’s just by participating in online fundraising events for those in need back home. Explain that even small acts of kindness make a big difference. This helps instill a sense of collective responsibility and teaches them that their actions matter.
Strengthening the Ties of Family (Pamilya)
Family is everything in Filipino culture. Even though you’re far away remember that constant communication is key. Schedule regular video calls and avoid mere casual questions: share your life, your challenges and triumphs. Actively listening to their concerns and offering guidance strengthens the bond, despite the physical distance. Celebrate birthdays and special occasions with them, even if it means sending a thoughtful gift ahead of time or having virtual parties. Also, involve relatives back home like grandparents and siblings in their lives. Grandparents are a direct link to Filipino traditions and values. Encourage them to share stories, teach your children traditional songs and games, and pass on their wisdom. Consider sending handwritten letters or small gifts representing your home country. These tangible reminders can help them feel connected and loved, reinforcing the importance of family ties.
Teaching Respect (Paggalang) in a Digital World
Paggalang, or respect, is a cornerstone of Filipino society. Teach your children to respect elders by using “po” and “opo” when speaking to them. Model respectful behavior in your own interactions with family and friends, even in digital spaces. Emphasize the importance of respecting authority figures, such as teachers and community leaders. However, paggalang goes beyond just words. Teach them to value the opinions and feelings of others, even when they disagree. Explain that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness. In the digital age, this means teaching them to be mindful of their online interactions, avoiding cyberbullying and promoting respectful communication. You can accomplish this by showing them news clips or fictional media where situations involving respect come up and then simply asking “What is happening here? Why do you think this is happening?”. This encourages introspection.
The Value of Hard Work (Sipag at Tiyaga)
Filipinos are known for their sipag at tiyaga – hard work and perseverance. This value is crucial for success in any field. To instill this, encourage your children to embrace challenges and never give up easily. Set achievable goals for them and praise their efforts, not just their achievements. Teach them the importance of responsibility by assigning them age-appropriate tasks and holding them accountable. Share stories of your own struggles and successes, showing them that hard work and dedication can lead to great things. Remind them that education is a powerful tool that can open doors and improve their lives. Reinforce the notion that success comes to those who work for it and never let them settle for mediocrity. For example, help them learn basic computer skills, emphasizing that the more they learn the more opportunities they will have.
Honesty and Integrity (Katarungan at Katotohanan)
Katarungan at katotohanan, justice and truth, are vital for building trust and strong relationships. Teach your children the importance of honesty in all aspects of their lives. Encourage them to always tell the truth, even when it’s difficult. Explain that lying can damage relationships and erode trust. Be a role model of honesty and integrity in your own actions. If you make a mistake, admit it and apologize. Emphasize the importance of fairness and justice, treating everyone equally, regardless of their background. Instill in them a strong moral compass that guides their decisions and actions. By demonstrating honesty and integrity in your own life, you can set a powerful example for your children to follow. Use storytime to discuss situations where characters chose honesty over dishonesty and explore the consequences of each decision. News stories about important moments in Filipino history can also make a great impact if discussed together.
Filipino Hospitality (Pakikipagkapwa-tao) Even From Afar
Pakikipagkapwa-tao is this feeling of togetherness that Filipinos cherish. It’s about treating others like you would want to be treated and having empathy for other people. Even from afar, you can guide your kids. Encourage them to reach out to relatives or neighbors who might need help. Model this behavior in your own life. Talk about situations where people are having a tough time and explore ways your child can help. For instance, they could send an encouraging message to a friend who’s feeling down or offer to help a family member with a task they’re struggling with. Even small acts of kindness can go a long way in fostering a sense of empathy and pakikipagkapwa-tao. While physical visits to the Philippines might be difficult, encourage them to build friendships with other Filipino children online or in their local communities. They can learn from each other’s experiences and connect with their shared heritage.
Celebrating Filipino Culture: Food, Music, and Traditions
Sharing Filipino culture with your children can be as simple as cooking traditional dishes together over video call. Teach them family recipes and explain the stories behind them. Encourage them to listen to Filipino music and learn about Filipino artists. Show them videos of Filipino festivals and celebrations. If possible, send them Filipino books, movies, and games. Make them involved in the preparation, especially when food is involved! For example, set a date in cooking lumpia or pancit, explain all the ingredients while also telling them the history behind the dish. Help make the entire process more engaging by sharing fun facts about the food. Explore Filipino folk tales and legends together. These stories can teach valuable lessons about morality, courage, and the importance of family. Encourage your family at home to celebrate Filipino holidays and traditions. Explain the meaning behind these celebrations and involve your children in the preparations. These experiences will help them connect with their heritage and develop a deeper appreciation for their culture.
Speaking the Language: Keeping Tagalog Alive
Language is a powerful tool for connecting with our heritage. Even if your children are growing up in a different country, encourage them to learn and speak Tagalog. Set aside time each day for language practice. Start with basic words and phrases and gradually build their vocabulary. Use online resources, such as language learning apps and websites, to make learning fun and interactive. Watch Filipino movies and TV shows together and encourage them to read Filipino books and magazines. If possible, connect them with Filipino-speaking friends or relatives. Speaking Tagalog will give them a sense of identity and belonging. It will also allow them to communicate with family members and connect with their culture on a deeper level.
The Role of Religion in Filipino Culture
Religion often plays a significant role in Filipino culture, influencing values and beliefs. If religion is important to your family, share your faith with your children. Teach them about the stories, traditions, and values of your religion. Encourage them to participate in religious activities, such as attending church or praying. Share your personal faith journey with them and explain why it’s important to you. Religion can provide them with a sense of community, purpose, and guidance. It can also help them develop a strong moral compass and a sense of compassion for others.
Addressing Identity Issues: Being Filipino Abroad
Growing up in a foreign country can present unique identity challenges for children of OFWs. They may struggle to reconcile their Filipino heritage with the culture of their new home. It’s important to create a safe space for them to explore their identity and express their feelings. Encourage them to embrace both their Filipino and their foreign identities. Teach them that being bilingual and bicultural is a strength. Help them connect with other Filipino children and families in their community. Celebrate Filipino culture and traditions at home. Remind them that they are part of a rich and vibrant culture with a long and proud history. By providing them with a strong sense of identity, you can help them navigate the challenges of growing up as Filipino abroad. It is important that the children appreciate where they currently live, too! Talk about both home countries so they feel love and respect for that place too!
Utilizing Technology to Bridge the Distance
Technology is your best friend as an OFW parent! Make use of video calls, messaging apps, and social media to stay connected with your children. Schedule regular video call dates where you can talk, play games, or even just watch a movie together. Use messaging apps to send them encouraging messages, share photos and videos, and stay updated on their daily lives. Follow them on social media and engage with their posts. Technology can bridge the physical distance and help you stay involved in their lives. Consider creating a family blog or online journal where you can document your experiences and share them with your children. This can be a great way to keep them connected to your life and your culture.
Working with Guardians Back Home: Aligning Values
If you’re entrusting the care of your children to relatives or guardians back home, it’s crucial to communicate your values and expectations clearly. Have open and honest conversations with them about how you want your children to be raised. Discuss important values like respect, honesty, hard work, and family. Make sure they understand your expectations regarding education, discipline, and religious upbringing. Provide them with resources and support to help them fulfill their roles as guardians. Stay in regular communication with them to address any concerns or challenges. By working together, you can ensure that your children are being raised in a loving and supportive environment that aligns with your values. Create a schedule of expectations, especially regarding homework, chores or screen time. Involve the children in creating this too so there is accountability for everyone.
Long-Term Planning: Investing in Their Future
As an OFW, you’re working hard to provide a better future for your children. In addition to instilling Filipino values, it’s also important to invest in their education and well-being. Save for their college education and other future expenses. Teach them about financial literacy and responsible money management. Encourage them to pursue their passions and talents. Support their goals and dreams. By investing in their future, you’re giving them the tools and opportunities they need to succeed and make a positive impact on the world. Have open conversations with them about their future aspirations and dreams. Discuss different career paths and the education and skills required for each one. Remind them that they have the potential to achieve great things. The Philippine government provides some helpful resources for OFWs regarding financial planning so check those out.
Dealing with Homesickness: Keeping the Philippines Alive in Their Hearts
Homesickness is normal and can affect your children, especially if they’ve spent a significant amount of time in the Philippines. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences. Talk about the things they miss about the Philippines, such as the food, the culture, and the people. Share your own memories of your homeland with them but be very careful to avoid painting a negative picture for their current context. Create opportunities for them to connect with their Filipino heritage, such as cooking Filipino food, listening to Filipino music, or watching Filipino movies. Plan trips back to the Philippines when possible. By keeping the Philippines alive in their hearts, you can help them cope with homesickness and feel connected to their roots. Consider getting them pen pals with other kids in the Philippines. This will help them stay connected to their country and culture. Also, encourage them to engage in Filipino-themed activities online, like joining a virtual choir that sings Filipino songs or participating in an online Filipino cooking class.
Seeking Support: Connecting with Other OFW Families
You are not alone! Connect with other OFW families in your community or online. Share your experiences, challenges, and successes with them. Learn from each other’s mistakes. Offer support and encouragement. Being part of an OFW community can provide you with a sense of belonging and help you navigate the unique challenges of raising children from afar. There are many online forums and social media groups dedicated to OFW families. These communities can provide you with a wealth of information, resources, and support. Also, seek out professional counseling or therapy if you’re struggling to cope with the challenges of being an OFW parent. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to manage stress, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship with your children. Connecting with a supportive community can provide a vital emotional anchor.
FAQ Section
How can I make sure my children don’t forget Tagalog when they are raised in a foreign country?
The best way is to make it a daily habit. Even just 15-20 minutes a day can make a big difference. Try using language learning apps, watching Filipino shows together, or reading Filipino books. Speak to them in Tagalog as much as possible and encourage them to respond in Tagalog too. Even if they only know a few words, it is important to remember that every little bit helps. Another great way is to connect them with Filipino-speaking relatives or friends whenever possible. If you have family members in the Philippines, encourage them to video call with your kids and speak to them in Tagalog.
My children are starting to feel ashamed of their Filipino heritage. What can I do?
First, talk to them and find out why they feel ashamed. It could be due to bullying or feeling different from their peers. Remind them that being Filipino is something to be proud of. Share stories of successful Filipinos who have made a positive impact on the world. Expose them to Filipino culture through food, music, movies, and books. Connect them with other Filipino children who share their heritage. Most importantly, create a safe and loving environment where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings and embracing their identity. Do not compare or invalidate their feelings.
I’m struggling to balance my work as an OFW with being a good parent. What advice can you give me?
It’s definitely tough, but possible! Prioritize communication with your children. Schedule regular video calls and make sure to listen to their concerns and offer guidance. Set realistic expectations for yourself and don’t feel guilty about not being able to do everything. Focus on the things that matter most, such as spending quality time with your children and instilling in them important values. Delegate tasks and responsibilities whenever possible. Enlist the help of family members or friends to support you in your parenting journey. Remember to take care of yourself too. Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you manage stress. Self-care is not selfish but allows you to be fully present for your children.
How can I teach my children about Filipino values when I’m not physically present?
Lead by example! Model Filipino values in your own actions and interactions, even from afar. Share stories of your experiences growing up in the Philippines and how Filipino values have shaped your life. Discuss Filipino traditions and customs with them. Remind them of the importance of family, respect, honesty, and hard work. Use technology to bridge the distance and stay connected with them. Involve them in Filipino cultural activities, such as cooking Filipino food or celebrating Filipino holidays.
What if the guardian back home and I disagree about how my children should be raised?
Open and honest communication is key! Schedule regular conversations with the guardian to discuss any concerns or disagreements. Try to find common ground and compromise on issues where you disagree. Remember that you both want what’s best for your children. If you’re unable to resolve your differences on your own, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor. It is useful to remember that you are the parent. The guardian is acting on your behalf. Be clear about what are priorities and what are not important. Be willing to listen. Be mindful of the person’s feelings too.
My children are more influenced by the local culture. Is this wrong?
It’s natural for children to be influenced by the culture they’re growing up in. It is important for them to understand the culture of where they reside. Rather than seeing it as negative, embrace it as an opportunity. They are becoming bicultural! Encourage them to embrace both their Filipino heritage and the local culture. Help them develop a strong sense of identity so they can navigate both worlds with confidence and pride. Just like you, kids grow up in a complex world with multiple demands and they should learn to successfully navigate them and decide what values and ideas they want to adopt
References
These sources were used to inform this article and provide additional context.
- Anderson, B. (2006). Imagined communities: Reflections on the origin and spread of nationalism. Verso.
- Hofstede, G. (2011). Dimensionalizing cultures: The Hofstede model in context. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1).
- Philippine Statistics Authority. (Various years). Reports on overseas Filipino workers.
- Rodriguez, R. (2011). Recovering filipino American histories: Transnational lives and legacies. Rutgers University Press.
You’re doing an amazing job! Being an OFW parent is far from easy, but it’s incredibly admirable. And, you’re armed with practical tips to bridge the distance and instill those priceless Filipino values in your children. Don’t just read this article and let it sit. Choose one or two tips that resonate most with you and start implementing them today. Schedule that extra video call. Cook your favorite Filipino dish with relatives from home so your kids can be more engaged. Seek out a community of other OFW families—you’re stronger together! The legacy of Filipino values starts with you. Start now!
