Coming home after working overseas as an OFW isn’t just about the money you’ve saved. It’s a huge life change, and it’s really important to get ready for the emotional part of it too. Many OFWs focus so much on the financial aspects – setting up a business, buying a house – that they overlook the feelings and adjustments that come with being back home. This article helps you understand and prepare for those emotional adjustments to make your homecoming as smooth as possible.
Understanding the Emotional Rollercoaster
Imagine spending years in a different country, building a life away from your family and friends. You get used to a new routine, a different culture, and maybe even a new language. Now, picture yourself suddenly back in your old life. Things have changed, both for you and the people back home. It’s normal to feel excited, happy, and relieved, but also anxious, confused, and even a little sad. These mixed emotions are completely valid. You might miss your life abroad, the independence you had, or the friends you made. At the same time, you’re eager to reconnect with your loved ones and enjoy the comforts of home.
Think of it like this: you’ve been climbing a mountain, focused on reaching the summit (saving money, providing for your family). Now you’re descending, and you’re not quite sure of the path down. It’s a different journey, and it requires a different set of skills and expectations. The International Organization for Migration (IOM) has extensive research about the challenges faced by returning migrants, highlighting the psychological impact of migration and reintegration.
Dealing with Expectations vs. Reality
One of the biggest challenges OFWs face when returning home is the clash between their expectations and the reality of the situation. Often, families have built up certain expectations about what the OFW’s return will bring – a new house, a successful business, a life of ease. The OFW, on the other hand, may have their own expectations about family dynamics, roles, and responsibilities. For example, you might expect your spouse to be completely understanding and supportive of your transition, but they might be dealing with their own set of challenges, such as feeling overwhelmed by the sudden shift in responsibilities.
It’s a good idea to have open and honest conversations with your family before you come home. Talk about your plans, your limitations, and your expectations. Find out about their expectations too, and try to find common ground. Remember, communication is key to managing expectations and preventing misunderstandings. It’s also important to be realistic about what you can achieve. Building a business or achieving financial stability takes time and effort, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to succeed immediately. A helpful resource when navigating these conversations is the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) which offers family counseling programs and reintegration assistance.
Common Emotional Challenges and How to Cope
Several emotional challenges are common among returning OFWs. Knowing about them beforehand can help you prepare and cope effectively.
Feeling Like an Outsider: Even though you’re back home, you might feel like you don’t quite fit in anymore. You’ve changed, your family and friends have changed, and things aren’t exactly as you remember them. This feeling of alienation can be isolating and disheartening. To combat this, make an effort to reconnect with your loved ones. Spend quality time with them, listen to their stories, and share your own experiences. Participate in family activities and traditions. It takes time to rebuild those connections, so be patient and persistent.
Reverse Culture Shock: You might think culture shock only happens when you move to a new country, but reverse culture shock is a real thing. It’s the feeling of disorientation and frustration that you experience when you return to your home country after living abroad for an extended period. You might find yourself feeling critical of your own culture, or struggling to adapt to the changes that have taken place while you were away. To ease reverse culture shock, try to focus on the positive aspects of your culture. Reconnect with familiar foods, traditions, and places. Be open to new experiences and perspectives, and remember that it’s okay to feel a little out of sorts.
Financial Stress: Even if you’ve saved a lot of money, the pressure to make it last can be overwhelming. You might feel obligated to provide for your family, start a business, or buy a house. Financial stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. To manage financial stress, create a realistic budget and stick to it. Seek financial advice from a trusted professional. Explore income-generating opportunities that align with your skills and interests. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help if you’re struggling financially. The Department of Migrant Workers (DMW) provides various reintegration programs, including financial literacy seminars, which you might find beneficial.
Relationship Issues: Distance can put a strain on relationships, and returning home can sometimes exacerbate existing problems. You and your spouse may have grown apart, or you might have different expectations about your roles and responsibilities. To strengthen your relationships, prioritize communication, honesty, and empathy. Schedule regular date nights with your spouse, spend quality time with your children, and make an effort to connect with your extended family. If you’re experiencing serious relationship problems, consider seeking professional counseling. Talk to your family members honestly about how to fairly distribute household duties to set proper expectations.
Building a Support System
Having a strong support system is crucial for a successful homecoming. Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through and can offer emotional support, practical advice, and encouragement. Your support system can include family members, friends, former colleagues, members of your religious community, or even support groups for returning OFWs. Join online forums or social media groups where you can connect with other returning migrants and share your experiences. Consider attending reintegration programs offered by government agencies or NGOs. These programs can provide you with valuable information, resources, and support.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It takes courage to admit that you’re struggling, but it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor can make a big difference in how you feel. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help you succeed.
Re-Establishing Your Identity
Working abroad can significantly shape your identity. You’ve learned new skills, gained new perspectives, and developed a new sense of self. Returning home means reintegrating this new identity into your old life. This can be a challenging process, as you might feel like you’re torn between two worlds. To successfully re-establish your identity, take time to reflect on your experiences abroad and identify the values, beliefs, and skills that you want to bring back with you. Find ways to integrate these aspects of your new self into your daily life. For example, if you learned a new language, continue practicing it. If you developed a passion for a particular hobby or activity, pursue it back home. Connect with people who share your interests and values.
Embrace the changes that you’ve undergone and celebrate the new person you’ve become. Don’t be afraid to challenge old assumptions and break out of familiar patterns. Returning home is an opportunity to create a new chapter in your life, one that reflects your unique experiences and aspirations. Stay true to yourself and be open to new possibilities. Focus on what you value and how you want to live and re-build your personal and professional life.
Preparing Your Children for Your Return
If you have children, your return will also impact them. They might have mixed emotions about your homecoming – excitement, joy, but also anxiety and uncertainty. They may have gotten used to a certain routine and might struggle to adjust to your presence. It’s important to prepare your children for your return and address their concerns and anxieties. Talk to them about what to expect and explain why you were away. Listen to their feelings and validate their concerns.
When you first arrive, spend quality time with your children and make an effort to reconnect with them. Participate in their activities, help them with their homework, and tell them stories about your experiences abroad. Be patient and understanding, and give them time to adjust. Avoid making drastic changes to their routines or expectations right away. Remember that your children’s emotional well-being is just as important as your own, so prioritize their needs and provide them with the love and support they need to thrive. Try not to overwhelm them with grand gestures or expectations. Simple moments of connection are the key.
Looking Forward: Setting New Goals and Building a Future
Returning home is not the end of your journey, but rather the beginning of a new one. It’s a time to set new goals, pursue new opportunities, and build a future that is meaningful and fulfilling. Take time to reflect on your experiences abroad and identify what is truly important to you. What are your dreams and aspirations? What do you want to achieve in the next chapter of your life? Once you have a clear vision of your future, create a plan to make it happen. Set realistic goals, break them down into smaller steps, and take consistent action towards achieving them.
Explore new opportunities, whether it’s starting a business, pursuing further education, or volunteering your time to a cause you care about. Stay connected with your support system, seek guidance from mentors and advisors, and never give up on your dreams. Remember that setbacks are a normal part of life, so don’t let them discourage you. Learn from your mistakes, adjust your strategies, and keep moving forward. With hard work, determination, and a positive attitude, you can create a future that is even brighter than you ever imagined.
FAQ Section
What are the most common emotional challenges faced by returning OFWs?
Returning OFWs commonly experience feelings of isolation, reverse culture shock, financial stress, and relationship issues. They may struggle to adapt to changes at home, miss their independence abroad, and feel pressure to meet financial expectations. Each can be challenging to navigate on their own. Building a local network to support the transition can be beneficial.
How can I prepare my family for my return?
Open and honest communication is key. Discuss your plans, limitations, and expectations with your family before you come home. Find out about their expectations too, and work to find common ground. Be realistic about what you can achieve and manage their expectations.
How can I cope with reverse culture shock?
Focus on the positive aspects of your culture, reconnect with familiar foods, traditions, and places. Be open to new experiences and perspectives, and remember that it’s okay to feel a little out of sorts. Give youself time and space to adjust.
Where can I find support as a returning OFW?
You can find support from family members, friends, former colleagues, members of your religious community, and support groups for returning OFWs. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) and the Department of Migrant Workers (DMW) also offer reintegration programs and assistance. Seek counseling, when needed, to ease transition processes.
How do I deal with financial stress after returning home?
Create a realistic budget and stick to it. Seek financial advice from a trusted professional. Explore income-generating opportunities that align with your skills and interests. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help if you’re struggling financially.
What can I do if I’m feeling depressed or anxious after returning home?
Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you’re struggling with your mental health. There are resources available to support you.
How long does it take to adjust to life back home?
The adjustment period varies for each individual. It can take several months to a year or more to fully adjust to life back home. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to adapt.
References
- International Organization for Migration (IOM)
- Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA)
- Department of Migrant Workers (DMW)
Now is the perfect time to take action and prepare for your homecoming. Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed with emotions and unexpected challenges. Start planning your emotional reintegration today. Connect with other returning OFWs, explore resources offered by OWWA and DMW, and begin having those crucial conversations with your family. Remember, a successful return is not just about financial security, but also about emotional well-being and strong relationships. Take the first step – your future self will thank you for it.
