When a parent leaves to work overseas as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), it’s not just about sending money home. It’s a big change for the whole family, especially the kids. Imagine growing up with a parent missing birthdays, school plays, and everyday moments. That’s the reality for many OFW children, and it’s important to understand how this affects them and what we can do to help.
The Challenges of Being an OFW Child
Being an “OFW child” can feel like a rollercoaster. On one hand, there’s gratitude for the better life their parent is working hard to provide. On the other hand, there’s often a deep sense of loneliness and longing. It’s like a piece of the family puzzle is missing. Research from organizations like the International Labour Organization (ILO) have shown that children left behind by migrant workers can experience emotional distress, impacting their academic performance and overall well-being. This isn’t just about feeling sad; it can manifest in many different ways.
One of the biggest challenges is the emotional impact. Kids might feel abandoned, even though they know their parent is working hard for them. They might struggle with feelings of anger, resentment, or even guilt. “Why did my parent have to leave me?” or “Am I not good enough for them to stay?” are common questions. This can lead to anxiety and difficulty concentrating in school. They might also have trouble forming close relationships with others, fearing that they will also leave. Remember, these are heavy emotions for a young person to carry, and they need understanding and support.
Another common challenge is shifting family dynamics. When a parent leaves, someone else usually steps in to take care of the children. This could be a grandparent, an older sibling, or another relative. While they may have good intentions, it can be difficult to adjust to a different parenting style or to having less attention. If a grandparent steps in, there might be a generational gap that makes it harder to communicate and understand each other. Older siblings might feel overwhelmed by the responsibility, especially if they are still young themselves. All these shifts can lead to conflict and confusion within the household.
The economic aspect can also be a double-edged sword. While remittances from OFWs can improve the family’s financial situation, it can also create unhealthy pressure on the children. They might feel obligated to excel in school or to take on more responsibilities at home to ease their parent’s burden. They might also feel guilty for wanting things or for enjoying the benefits of their parent’s hard work. Sometimes, children believe that as long as money is sent, everything is fine. But money can’t replace the presence and emotional support of a parent. As the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) revealed, remittances sent by OFWs play a crucial role in the Philippine economy, yet understanding the impact on families left behind is equally important.
How to Help OFW Children Thrive
While the challenges are real, there are many things we can do to help OFW children thrive. Here are some practical ideas:
Communication is Key: Encourage regular communication between the OFW parent and their child. Video calls are a wonderful way to stay connected, allowing them to see each other’s faces and share experiences. Even a quick phone call or a text message can make a big difference. It’s important to make the communication consistent and predictable, so the child knows when to expect to hear from their parent. This creates a sense of stability and helps them feel loved and remembered.
Create a Strong Support System: Build around the child a network of supportive adults, such as teachers, counselors, relatives, and friends. These individuals can provide emotional support, guidance, and mentorship. Let the child know that they are not alone and that there are people who care about them. The support system should be reliable and consistent, offering a safe space for the child to express their feelings and concerns. Coordinate with the child’s school to ensure that teachers are aware of their situation and can provide additional support if needed.
Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings: It’s crucial to acknowledge and validate the child’s feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lonely. Avoid dismissing their emotions or telling them to “just be happy.” Instead, listen to them with empathy and understanding. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what. Validating their feelings helps them feel understood and accepted, which can reduce their emotional distress. Remember, their feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged.
Maintain a Sense of Routine and Stability: While the family situation may have changed, try to maintain a sense of routine and stability in the child’s life. This includes regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and school attendance. Predictability can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of normalcy. Continue to engage them in activities they enjoyed before their parent left such as sports, arts or music lessons. These activities can provide a sense of continuity and help them maintain their identity. Consistency is key to helping them feel secure and grounded.
Empower the Caregiver: The caregiver who is taking care of the child needs support too. Offer them practical assistance, such as helping with childcare, transportation, or household chores. Provide them with emotional support and encouragement. Recognize their efforts and let them know that their role is valued. The caregiver’s well-being is directly linked to the child’s well-being. If the caregiver is stressed or overwhelmed, it can negatively impact the child. Make sure the caregiver has the resources and support they need to thrive.
Celebrate Cultural Identity: Encourage the child to embrace their Filipino culture through music, dance, food, and traditions. This can help them feel connected to their heritage and to their absent parent. Celebrating their culture can provide a sense of belonging and identity, especially when they are living in a different country or community. Organize cultural events or activities where they can connect with other Filipino families and share their experiences. Culture acts as a powerful link to their roots.
Utilize Technology Responsibly: While technology can be a great way to stay connected, it’s important to use it responsibly. Set boundaries around screen time and ensure that the child is not spending too much time on social media or other online activities. Encourage them to use technology for educational purposes or to connect with family and friends in a meaningful way. Remember, technology should be a tool to enhance their lives, not a replacement for real-life interactions.
Addressing Specific Challenges
Sometimes, OFW children face specific challenges that require tailored solutions:
Academic Struggles: If the child is struggling in school, provide them with extra support, such as tutoring or counseling. Communicate with their teachers to identify areas where they need help. Academic struggles can be a sign of underlying emotional distress or a lack of support at home. Early intervention is crucial to prevent them from falling further behind. Create a study-friendly environment at home and provide them with the resources they need to succeed.
Behavioral Issues: If the child is exhibiting behavioral problems, such as acting out, withdrawing, or engaging in risky behaviors, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Behavioral issues can be a way of expressing unmet needs or unresolved emotional pain. A therapist can help them process their feelings and develop coping mechanisms. Address the underlying causes of the behavior rather than simply punishing the child.
Social Isolation: If the child is feeling isolated or lonely, encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities or join clubs and organizations. Help them develop social skills and build meaningful relationships with their peers. Social isolation can have a negative impact on their mental health and well-being. Provide them with opportunities to connect with others who share their interests. Teach them how to initiate conversations and build friendships.
Dealing with Grief: Sometimes, OFWs face difficult situations, such as illness or death. If the child is dealing with grief, allow them to grieve in their own way. Provide them with emotional support and encourage them to express their feelings. Seek professional help if needed. Grief can be a complex and overwhelming emotion, especially for children. Be patient and understanding, and allow them to process their grief at their own pace. Books and articles can also help them cope with loss.
The Parent’s Role from Afar
Even when physically distant, the OFW parent plays a vital role in their child’s life. Technology is a great supporter to make it possible. It’s about making the effort to stay involved.
Be Present Even If You’re Absent: Make time for regular video calls, phone calls, and text messages. Listen to your child’s concerns and offer them encouragement and support. Share your experiences and let them know that you are thinking of them. Even a few minutes of quality time can make a big difference. The key is to be present and engaged, even from a distance. Show them that you care and that you are invested in their lives.
Collaborate with the Caregiver: Work closely with the caregiver to ensure that the child’s needs are being met. Communicate regularly and share information about the child’s progress and challenges. Support the caregiver’s efforts and offer them assistance when needed. A strong partnership between the parent and the caregiver is essential for the child’s well-being. Be open to feedback and willing to work together to create a supportive environment for the child.
Plan for Your Return: Talk to your child about your plans for returning home. Let them know when you expect to come back and what you hope to do together. This can give them something to look forward to and ease their anxiety about your absence. Prepare them for the transition back to having you at home full-time. It may take some time for everyone to adjust to the new dynamics. Be patient and understanding, and work together as a family to create a positive and supportive environment.
Send Meaningful Gifts: Send gifts that are meaningful and personal, rather than just expensive or extravagant. A handwritten letter, a photo album, or a handmade item can be more meaningful than a store-bought present. Gifts can be a tangible reminder of your love and affection. Choose gifts that reflect the child’s interests and personality. This shows that you are paying attention to them and that you care about what they enjoy.
Be a Role Model: Be a positive role model for your child. Demonstrate hard work, perseverance, and resilience. Show them that you are committed to their well-being and that you are working hard to provide for them. Children learn by example, so your actions speak louder than words. Be honest and transparent about your struggles and challenges, but also show them how you overcome them. This can teach them valuable life lessons and inspire them to achieve their own goals.
Long-Term Impacts and Considerations
The experience of being an OFW child can have long-term impacts on their development and well-being. It’s important to be aware of these potential impacts and to take steps to mitigate them. Some impacts include changes in their identity, coping mechanisms, and future aspirations.
Identity Formation: Children of OFWs may struggle with their identity, especially if they are raised in a different country or culture. They may feel like they don’t fully belong in either their home country or their host country. It is important to encourage them to embrace their Filipino heritage and to connect with other Filipino families. Help them understand and appreciate their bicultural identity. Provide them with opportunities to learn about their culture and to express their identity in positive ways.
Coping Mechanisms: Some children of OFWs may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, or self-harm. It is important to be aware of these risks and to provide them with support and guidance. Encourage them to develop healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, meditation, or creative expression. Seek professional help if needed.
Future Aspirations: The experience of being an OFW child can influence their future aspirations. Some may be inspired to become OFWs themselves, while others may be determined to stay in their home country. It is important to support their dreams and to help them achieve their goals. Provide them with educational and career opportunities. Encourage them to pursue their passions and talents.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about OFW children:
What are the most common emotional problems experienced by OFW children?
Loneliness, abandonment, anxiety, depression, and resentment are common emotional struggles.
How can I make my child feel loved and supported when I’m working overseas?
Regular communication (video calls, messages), sending meaningful gifts, and planning for your return are important.
What is the role of the caregiver in the life of an OFW child?
The caregiver provides daily care, emotional support, and stability. They act as a surrogate parent in your absence.
How can schools support OFW children?
Teachers should be aware of the child’s situation, provide extra support if needed, and create a supportive classroom environment.
Where can I find resources and support for OFW families?
The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) and other NGOs offer programs and services for OFW families.
My child is angry and resentful towards me. What should I do?
Acknowledge their feelings, listen to their concerns, and validate their emotions. Seek professional help if needed.
How do I balance providing financially for my family with being present in my child’s life?
Make time for regular communication, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Prioritize quality time over quantity of gifts.
References
International Labour Organization (ILO).
Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA).
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA).
Instead of just concluding, let’s all do something. If you know an OFW family, reach out. A simple act of kindness, a listening ear, or an offer of support can make a world of difference. If you are an OFW, connect with your children today. Tell them you love them. Remind them why you’re doing what you’re doing. Your love and presence, even from afar, are the most precious gifts you can give.
