Having a parent working overseas can be tough on kids. It’s not just about missing them; it can also affect their feelings, behavior, and overall mental well-being. This article will help you understand the unique challenges faced by children of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) and provide practical tips on how to support their mental health.
Understanding the Challenges
Imagine your mom or dad suddenly leaving to work in another country. It can feel like a piece of your heart is missing. This is a reality for many Filipino children whose parents become OFWs. While the money sent home is a big help, the absence of a parent creates a void that can impact a child’s emotional and psychological development.
The Feeling of Loss and Abandonment
Even though the separation isn’t permanent, young children may struggle to understand why their parent has to leave. They might feel abandoned, thinking they did something wrong or that their parent doesn’t love them anymore. These feelings can lead to anxiety, sadness, and even anger. Older kids might understand the financial reasons better, but they still grapple with loneliness and resentment.
For example, a study published in the Journal of Family Studies highlights the increased risk of internalizing problems like depression and anxiety among children left behind by migrant parents. This isn’t just about feeling sad; it can manifest as changes in eating habits, sleep patterns, and decreased interest in activities that used to bring joy.
Changes in Family Dynamics
When a parent leaves, the family structure shifts. Often, the remaining parent or a grandparent steps up to take on more responsibilities. This can lead to stress and tension within the household. The child might feel caught in the middle, wanting to help but also feeling overwhelmed. Imagine a situation where a teenager suddenly has to care for younger siblings while the remaining parent works long hours. This can be a lot to handle and can impact their school performance and social life.
Think about it: one parent was responsible for managing household things before. With them gone, another family member needs to adapt quickly. Suddenly, there less “help” to go around. The remaining parent may struggle to handle everything, leading to less time and energy for the children. This situation sometimes causes resentment and frustration within the entire family. A good strategy is to openly communicate and try to delegate tasks so everyone can share the load. For better family bond, consider setting fixed scheduled “family time”.
Financial Pressures and Expectations
While remittances from OFWs can improve a family’s financial situation, it can also create pressure on the children. They might feel obligated to perform well in school or excel in other areas to “repay” their parents’ sacrifices. This can lead to anxiety and a fear of failure. Some children might also experience guilt, feeling like they are a burden on their parents. It’s important to remember that a child’s worth isn’t tied to academic achievement or financial contribution. They need to know that they are loved and valued for who they are, not just for what they can do.
There is also unintended jealousy coming from people outside the family. For example, relatives often expect financial support just because a family member is working abroad, which can put financial strain on the OFW’s immediate family and even cause some conflicts. This situation gives a kid a feeling of responsibility to help out, which may add additional stress.
The Impact on Academic Performance
The emotional stress and instability caused by parental absence can significantly impact a child’s academic performance. They might have trouble concentrating in class, completing assignments, or participating in school activities. Teachers may notice changes in their behavior, such as increased restlessness, withdrawal, or aggression. It’s crucial for schools to be aware of the challenges faced by children of OFWs and provide them with the support they need to succeed academically.
Let’s face it: constant worrying can really affect your attention span. Kids sometimes daydream in class or forget about assignments because are more occupied with what’s happening at home. Communicate with your kid’s teachers to inform them of your situation. Teachers can provide extra help or understanding when the kid needs it.
Social and Emotional Difficulties
Children of OFWs may also experience difficulties in their social relationships. They might feel different from their peers who have both parents present, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. They may also struggle to form close relationships, fearing that their loved ones will eventually leave them. It’s important for these children to have opportunities to connect with others who understand their situation and to develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with their emotions.
Sometimes, they might feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about their parent working abroad. They might think that other kids won’t understand or that they will be judged. Encouraging your child to join support groups or participate in activities with other children of OFWs can help them build a sense of community and realize that they are not alone.
Recognizing the Signs of Mental Health Issues
It is important to be observant and look out for any signs. It does not mean that if a child of an OFW displays some of these symptoms, it automatically translates to mental health issues. However, these symptoms should be noted and, if severe, professional help should be sought as soon as possible.
Changes in Behavior
Pay attention to any sudden or significant changes in your child’s behavior. This could include: increased irritability or anger, frequent crying or sadness, withdrawal from social activities, changes in sleep or eating habits, and difficulty concentrating. These changes could indicate underlying emotional distress. For example, a child who used to be outgoing and energetic might suddenly become withdrawn and quiet. Or a child who always enjoyed eating might lose their appetite and start skipping meals.
It’s essential to differentiate between normal mood swings and more serious behavioral changes. While it’s normal for kids to have occasional bad days, persistent changes in behavior that interfere with their daily life warrant further attention.
Physical Symptoms
Mental health issues can also manifest as physical symptoms, such as: headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, and unexplained aches and pains. These symptoms are often related to stress and anxiety. If your child frequently complains of physical ailments without any apparent medical cause, it’s important to consider the possibility of underlying emotional problems. This might look like frequent trips to the school nurse or constant requests to stay home from school due to feeling unwell.
Remember, the mind and body are connected. When a child is experiencing emotional distress, it can impact their physical health. Don’t dismiss these physical symptoms as “just trying to get attention.” They could be a sign that your child is struggling and needs help.
Decline in Academic Performance
A noticeable drop in grades, difficulty completing assignments, and a lack of interest in school can be red flags. It could indicate that your child is struggling to focus and concentrate due to emotional distress. This could involve forgetting to turn in homework, failing tests, and expressing feelings of frustration or hopelessness about school. Talk to your child’s teachers to get a better understanding of their academic performance and behavior in the classroom.
Sometimes, a decline in academic performance can be attributed to other factors, such as learning disabilities or bullying. However, when combined with other symptoms, it’s important to consider the possibility of mental health issues.
Expressions of Sadness or Hopelessness
Listen carefully to your child’s words and pay attention to their emotional expressions. If they frequently express feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness, it’s important to take their concerns seriously. This could include statements like, “I don’t feel like doing anything”, “I wish I wasn’t here”, or “Nobody cares about me.” These statements could be signs of depression or suicidal ideation. Always be empathetic and supportive, and seek professional help if needed.
It’s crucial to create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care about what they are going through. Don’t dismiss their feelings or tell them to “just snap out of it.” Instead, validate their emotions and offer reassurance.
Changes in Social Interactions
If your child starts withdrawing from friends and family, or if they exhibit changes in their relationships, it could be a sign of underlying emotional problems. This could involve avoiding social gatherings, spending more time alone, or experiencing conflicts with friends or family members. They might feel isolated and lonely, even when surrounded by others. If you notice these changes, try to understand what’s happening in their social life and offer support.
Sometimes, children of OFWs might feel different from their peers who have both parents present. They might feel like they don’t fit in or that nobody understands what they are going through. Encouraging them to participate in activities with other children of OFWs can help them build a sense of community and realize that they are not alone.
How to Support OFW Children’s Mental Health
Supporting the mental well-being of kids with parents working overseas is a group effort. It involves the family, school, and community—all committed to meeting the child’s needs.
Open Communication and Emotional Support
Create a safe and open environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings. Encourage them to talk about their emotions, worries, and concerns. Listen attentively and validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care about what they are going through. Regular communication with the OFW parent is also crucial. Schedule regular phone calls, video chats, or even write letters or emails. This will help the child maintain a strong connection with their absent parent and feel loved and supported.
Avoid dismissing their feelings or telling them to “just get over it.” Instead, acknowledge their emotions and offer reassurance. For example, you could say, “I understand that you’re feeling sad because Mom is away. It’s okay to feel that way, and I’m here for you.”
Maintaining a Routine and Structure
Establish a consistent daily routine to provide a sense of stability and predictability. This can help reduce anxiety and stress. Make sure your child has regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and scheduled activities. This can help them feel more secure and in control of their lives. Even small things, like reading a bedtime story or having a family dinner together, can make a big difference.
Try to involve the OFW parent in the routine as much as possible. For example, they could call to say goodnight or help with homework via video chat. This will help the child feel connected to their absent parent and maintain a sense of normalcy.
Encouraging Social Connections
Help your child maintain and develop strong social connections with friends, family members, and other children of OFWs. Encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, join clubs, or volunteer in their community. These activities can provide opportunities for them to socialize, build friendships, and develop a sense of belonging. It can also help them take their minds off their worries and focus on something positive.
Consider organizing playdates or outings with other children of OFWs. This will give them a chance to connect with others who understand their situation and share their experiences. They might feel less alone and more supported.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. A mental health professional can provide your child with the support and guidance they need to cope with their emotions and challenges. They can also help you develop strategies for supporting your child’s mental well-being. Look for therapists or counselors who have experience working with children of OFWs or who specialize in family therapy.
Remember, seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you are committed to your child’s well-being and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to help them thrive. Numerous organizations and support groups offer services, sometimes free, for dealing with difficulties of this kind. The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) is one such agency to seek assistance from.
Supporting the Remaining Parent or Caregiver
The remaining parent or caregiver plays a crucial role in supporting the child’s mental health. Make sure they have the resources and support they need to cope with the added responsibilities and stress. This could include providing them with emotional support, helping with childcare, or offering financial assistance. When the caregiver is in good shape mentally, they are able to focus better on tasks needed to raise the child.
Encourage the remaining parent or caregiver to prioritize their own well-being. This could include getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities they enjoy. When they take care of themselves, they are better able to care for their child.
Educating Teachers and School Staff
Inform your child’s teachers and school staff about your family’s situation and the challenges your child may be facing. This will help them understand your child’s behavior and provide them with the support they need to succeed academically and socially. Encourage the school to create a supportive environment for children of OFWs. This could include providing counseling services, organizing support groups, or implementing programs that promote emotional well-being.
Teachers can also play a crucial role in identifying children who may be struggling with mental health issues. They can observe changes in behavior, academic performance, and social interactions and refer students to appropriate support services.
The Role of Technology
Technology can be a powerful tool that can help in promoting the well-being of OFW children. It can help keep parents and children connected despite the distance. However, it is best to be aware of technology’s downsides and address them appropriately.
Maintaining Connections with OFWs
Video calls, messaging apps, and social media platforms can help children stay connected with their parents who are working abroad. These tools allow families to communicate regularly, share experiences, and maintain a sense of closeness despite the distance. Schedule regular video calls with the OFW parent so the child can see and talk to them face-to-face. This can help them feel more connected and less lonely.
Encourage the OFW parent to participate in important events in the child’s life, such as birthdays, graduations, and school performances, even if they can’t be physically present. They can send video messages, participate in virtual celebrations, or even attend events via live stream.
Accessing Support and Information
The internet can provide access to valuable resources and information on mental health and well-being. Children and families can use online resources to learn about common mental health issues, coping strategies, and available support services. There are many websites and apps that offer information on mental health and well-being. The World Health Organization (WHO) has a dedicated Mental Health page you may check for information.
Be cautious about the information you find online. Make sure to use reputable sources and consult with a mental health professional if you have any concerns.
Potential Downsides of Technology
While technology can be beneficial, it’s important to be aware of its potential downsides. Excessive screen time can lead to sleep problems, eye strain, and decreased physical activity. It can also increase the risk of cyberbullying, social media addiction, and exposure to inappropriate content. Parents should set limits on screen time and monitor their child’s online activity. They should also teach their children about online safety and responsible technology use.
Encourage your child to engage in offline activities, such as playing sports, reading books, or spending time with friends and family. This will help them maintain a healthy balance and avoid overreliance on technology.
Practical Tips for OFWs
Even when working abroad, OFWs play a vital role in their children’s lives. With effort and open communication, the distance can be bridged, ensuring the children feel loved and supported.
Consistent Communication
Make it a point to communicate regularly with your child. Set aside specific times for phone calls, video chats, or messaging. Even short, frequent conversations can make a big difference. Talk about their day, their interests, and their concerns. Let them know that you are thinking of them and that you care about what they are going through. Set a weekly schedule with multiple check-ins. It is much better to set expectations.
Write letters or send postcards to your child. This could be via traditional mail or through email. These physical reminders of your love can be especially meaningful. In your letters, share stories about your life abroad, but also ask questions about their life back home.
Involve Yourself in Their Lives
Even from a distance, you can still be involved in your child’s life. Attend school events virtually, help with homework via video chat, or read bedtime stories online. Ask questions about their friends, their hobbies, and their school activities. Show them that you are interested and invested in their lives. If there’s a performance, make sure to attend virtually and send gifts!
Remember important dates and milestones, such as birthdays, graduations, and holidays. Send gifts or cards to show your love and support. Plan special activities when you are able to visit home.
Send Remittances Wisely
While financial support is important, it’s not the only thing your child needs. Make sure that the money you send home is used wisely and that it benefits your child’s well-being. Discuss with your family how the money will be used and ensure that your child’s needs are prioritized. Avoid spending money on unnecessary luxuries and focus on providing for their basic needs, such as food, clothing, education, and healthcare.
Teach your child the value of money and how to manage it responsibly. Encourage them to save some of their allowance and to make wise spending decisions.
Plan for Your Return
Discuss your plans for returning home with your child. Let them know when you expect to come home and what you plan to do when you return. This can help them feel more secure and hopeful about the future. Make sure to follow through on your promises and to spend quality time with your child when you return home. It is hard to return after a very long time overseas, so you want your family to adjust and not feel like you’re strangers to each other.
Make it clear to them that the work overseas is not forever to lessen separation anxiety. This eases their expectation and helps them cope up. Include them also in the planning stage.
FAQ Section
Here you can find answers to some common questions, to help understand and navigate issues surrounding OFWs children’s mental health.
Why are children of OFWs more prone to mental health issues?
The absence of a parent, even for a good cause, can lead to feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and stress. This can disrupt their routine, family dynamics, and emotional stability, increasing their vulnerability to mental health problems. Financial pressures, peer jealousy, increased family responsibilities only add to the problem.
What are the most common mental health issues among OFW children?
Common issues include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, behavioral problems, and difficulty forming relationships. Children may also experience academic decline, physical symptoms related to stress, and social withdrawal.
How can I talk to my child about my decision to work abroad?
Be honest, age-appropriate, and reassuring. Explain the reasons for your decision and emphasize that it is not their fault. Let them know that you love them and that you will stay connected. Listen to their concerns and validate their feelings. Show photos, describe your workplace, and make them feel “connected” with how you are. Promise to be in touch constantly and keep that promise.
What can I do if my child refuses to talk about their feelings?
Don’t force them. Create a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. Try talking to them during activities they enjoy, such as playing games or watching movies. You can also encourage them to express themselves through other means, such as writing, drawing, or music. When they feel ready, try to listen without judgment. Just be there – listen to the kid.
How can schools support children of OFWs?
Schools can provide counseling services, create support groups, and educate teachers and staff about the challenges faced by these children. Also, schools can recognize the contributions of OFWs to help students understand and appreciate the sacrifices their parents are making. Adjusting homework deadlines is also another consideration.
What if I suspect my child is suffering from depression?
Seek professional help immediately. Consult a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. In the meantime, provide your child with emotional support, encourage them to talk about their feelings, and create a safe and loving environment.
Are there any organizations that can help me and my child?
Yes, many organizations offer support to OFWs and their families. The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) and various non-governmental organizations (NGOs) provide counseling services, financial assistance, and other forms of support. Consult the Philippine embassies and consulates in your area.
How can technology help children cope with having a parent abroad?
Video calls, messaging apps, and social media platforms can help families stay connected. These tools allow children to communicate with their parents regularly, share experiences, and maintain a sense of closeness despite the distance. Virtual events help as well!
How to deal with feelings of envy?
Address it head-on. When your child expresses jealousy openly—about a classmate’s brand-new bike or a friend’s family trip to the beach—don’t try to dismiss their feelings. Instead, acknowledge the emotion. Let your child know you understand that it’s hard to feel left out or to want something you can’t have. Avoid comparing them to other kids.
Is it right to give them all the things they want so that the child feels better?
It’s often tempting to shower children of OFWs with gifts to make up for the parent’s absence, but that can actually be counterproductive and create wrong habits and mindset. Prioritize quality time, emotional support, and open communication instead. Buying material things may alleviate the sadness for a while, but it doesn’t promote long-term happiness and good coping.
References
Anderson, J. (2012). Parental Migration and its Impact on Children Left Behind: A Literature Review. Journal of Family Studies, 18(3), 307-322.
Asis, M. M. (2006). The Impact of International Labor Migration on Family Life: The Philippine Case. Philippine Institute for Development Studies.
Carling, J., & Haugen, H. Ø. (2005). Migration, Family and Development: Perspectives from the Philippines. Institute for Peace Research Oslo (PRIO).
Parreñas, R. S. (2005). Children of Global Migration: Transnational Families and Gendered Woes. Stanford University Press.
WHO. (n.d.). Mental health: strengthening our response. Retrieved from World Health Organization website.
It’s time to take action and prioritize the mental health of OFW children. By understanding the challenges they face, recognizing the signs of mental health issues, and implementing supportive strategies, we can make a real difference in their lives. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, teacher, or community member, you have the power to help these children thrive. Don’t wait any longer. Start today and become an advocate for the mental well-being of OFW children. Reach out to organizations that provide support, educate yourself and others, and most importantly, let these children know that they are loved, valued, and never alone. Secure their future—help them to be mentally healthy!
