It’s tough when mom or dad leaves to work overseas. You might feel sad, angry, or just plain confused. This article is here to help you understand those feelings and find ways to cope when your OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) parent is away. We’ll talk about how to deal with the emotions, stay connected, and even see the good things that can come from this situation. Remember, you’re not alone, and things will get better.
Understanding Your Feelings
Okay, let’s be real. Having a parent work overseas is a big deal. It’s normal to feel all sorts of emotions. You might miss them terribly, especially when something important happens at school or at home. Birthdays, holidays, and even regular dinners just don’t feel the same. You might also feel jealous of friends who have both parents around all the time. It’s completely okay to feel this way. Don’t try to bottle it up. A study by the Philippine Statistics Authority about children of OFWs shows that feelings of sadness and loneliness are normal.
Sometimes, kids feel angry. Maybe you’re angry at your parent for leaving, even though you know they’re doing it for the family. Maybe you’re angry at the situation itself. You might even be angry at yourself for feeling sad. Remember, anger is often a sign of hurt or sadness. It’s like a signal that something’s not right. Don’t be ashamed to feel angry; just try to understand why you’re feeling that way.
Confusion is another common feeling. You might not fully understand why your parent had to leave. It’s a big decision, and sometimes it’s hard to grasp the reasons, especially if you’re young. Talk to your other parent or a trusted adult about your confusion. They can help explain things in a way that makes sense to you.
Talking About It: The First Step
Talking about your feelings is super important. Don’t keep them all bottled up inside. It’s like shaking a soda can – eventually, it’s going to explode. Find someone you trust to talk to. This could be your other parent, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a teacher, or even a close family friend.
It might feel awkward at first. You might not know how to start the conversation. That’s okay! You could say something like, “I’ve been feeling kind of sad lately because Mom/Dad is gone.” Or, “I’m having a hard time because I miss Mom/Dad at dinner.” Just getting the words out is a big step. Encourage open communication within your family. Even scheduling regular “check-in” talks can help. If it’s easier to write down your feelings, try keeping a journal.
Staying Connected: Making the Distance Smaller
Even though your parent is far away, there are lots of ways to stay connected. Technology has made it so much easier to keep in touch. Think beyond just phone calls.
Video calls are great because you can see each other’s faces. Schedule regular video calls on apps like Skype, Zoom, or WhatsApp. Seeing your parent, even on a screen, can make a big difference. Try to make these calls regular, like a weekly or daily thing, so you have something to look forward to. You could even eat dinner together “virtually.”
Don’t forget about good old-fashioned letters! Writing a letter is a special way to share your thoughts and feelings. You can decorate it with drawings or stickers. Sending and receiving letters can be a really special experience. Emails are also a quick and easy way to send updates and photos.
Social media can also help you stay connected if you and your parent are comfortable with it. You can share photos, videos, and funny memes. Just be careful about what you post online and always follow safety guidelines. Many OFWs create private social media groups just for their families.
Making the Most of Your Time Together (When You Can)
When your OFW parent comes home for a visit, make the most of it! Plan special activities that you both enjoy. This could be going to the park, watching a movie, playing games, or even just spending time talking. Remember that your parent will probably be tired from traveling, so try to be patient and understanding.
Before your parent leaves again, talk about how you’ll stay connected while they’re gone. Make a plan for regular video calls, letters, or emails. This will help you feel more prepared and less sad when they leave. Creating a countdown calendar to their next visit can be a fun way to anticipate their return.
Finding Support: You’re Not Alone
It’s important to remember that you’re not the only one going through this. There are lots of other kids whose parents work overseas. Finding a support system can make a big difference.
Look for support groups at school or in your community. Talking to other kids who understand what you’re going through can be really helpful. You can share your feelings, exchange tips, and just know that you’re not alone. Online forums or social media groups for children of OFWs can also provide a sense of community. It can be comforting to read other people’s stories and realize that your feelings are valid and shared.
If you’re struggling to cope, talk to a counselor or therapist. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and develop coping strategies. Your school might have a counselor, or you can find a therapist in your community. There are also online therapy options available.
Focusing on the Positive
Although it’s tough, there are also some positive things that can come from having an OFW parent. You might become more independent and responsible. You might learn to appreciate your family more. You might even have the opportunity to travel and visit your parent in their new country.
Think about the sacrifices your parent is making for your family. They’re working hard to provide you with a better future. This can help you appreciate them even more. Also, focusing on your studies and extracurricular activities can be a great way to stay busy and feel productive.
Helping Out at Home
When a parent is away, everyone at home needs to pitch in. It’s a great way to show support for the remaining parent. Even small tasks can make a big difference.
Offer to help with chores around the house, like cleaning, cooking, or doing laundry. Take on some extra responsibilities, like helping with younger siblings. This will not only help your family but also make you feel more responsible and independent. Discuss chore assignments as a family so that everyone feels like they are contributing fairly.
Coping with Loneliness
Loneliness is a tough feeling to deal with. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope when you’re feeling lonely and missing your parent. There are active and creative outlets you can try to stay active and away from the feeling of lonliness.
Get involved in activities that you enjoy, like sports, music, or art. These activities can help you stay busy and connect with other people. Spend time with friends and family who make you feel good. Plan fun outings or activities together. Set realistic expectations for social interactions. It’s okay if you don’t always feel like being around people. Remember your worth.
Practice self-care activities, like reading, taking a bath, or listening to music. These activities can help you relax and recharge. Sometimes just remembering past happy memories can ease the pain of loneliness. Also, maintaining a healthy lifestyle through eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep can improve your overall mood and well-being. According to the World Health Organization, physical activity and social connection are crucial for mental health during times of stress.
Dealing with Special Occasions
Holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions can be tough when a parent is away. Plan ahead and find ways to make these occasions special, even without your parent present.
Decorate the house, bake a special cake, or watch a movie together. Create new traditions that you can enjoy as a family. Technology can help bring your OFW parent into the celebration. Use video calls to include them in the festivities. Share photos and videos of the celebration with them. Focus on the good times and the memories you’re creating. Write a letter or poem to your absent parent expressing your love and missing them.
When Things Get Tough: Recognizing the Signs
Sometimes, the challenges of having an OFW parent can be overwhelming. It’s important to recognize the signs that you might need extra help. If you’re showing some of these signs, please seek support.
If you’re experiencing persistent sadness, anxiety, or irritability, it’s important to reach out for help. If you’re having trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating, these could be signs that you’re struggling. If you’re isolating yourself from friends and family, or engaging in risky behaviors, it’s important to talk to someone. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or others, seek immediate help. The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) in the Philippines offers a crisis hotline that you can call for immediate support. These are some signs indicating the need for help.
Strengthening Relationships with Remaining Family Members
When one parent is away, it’s extremely important to strengthen your relationships with the family members who remain at home. This support network can provide comfort, stability, and a sense of belonging during a challenging time. These relationships can also help you grow as a person.
Spend quality time with your remaining parent, siblings, grandparents, or other close relatives. Doing simple activities like playing board games, watching movies, or going for walks is a great way to bond. Show empathy and understanding towards each other’s feelings. Be open and honest about your own emotions, and listen attentively when others share their feelings. Communicate clearly and respectfully, even when you disagree. Working together can help create a stronger family unit. Actively listen and respond in a way that lets them know you’re engaged. Make small gestures as well.
Financial Literacy Lessons
Having a parent working abroad often involves managing remittances and family finances. This situation can be an opportunity to learn about financial literacy at an early age. Understanding basic financial concepts can empower you to make informed decisions and appreciate the sacrifices your OFW parent is making.
Ask your parents or guardians about the family budget and how money is being spent. This will help you understand the importance of saving and making responsible choices. Learn about basic banking concepts, such as opening a savings account and managing ATM transactions. Discuss the differences between needs and wants. Understanding these concepts can help you become more mindful of your spending habits. You can incorporate these lessons in your young life as you grow old.
Preparing for Your Parent’s Return
The anticipation of your OFW parent’s return can be exciting, but it’s also important to prepare for the transition. This can promote a smooth homecoming and minimize any challenges. Make sure the returning parent is also aware of the new routines.
Talk to your family about your expectations and concerns regarding your parent’s return. This will help address any anxieties and ensure everyone is on the same page. Be patient with each other as you adjust with the changes while your parent reintegrates into the family. Be understanding and supportive as your parent gets used to being back home. Help your parent get up to date with life at home.
FAQ Section
Here are some commonly asked questions about dealing with having an OFW parent:
Q: How can I stop feeling so sad when my parent leaves?
A: It’s okay to feel sad. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help. Also, focus on staying connected with your parent through video calls, letters, or emails. Get involved in activities that you enjoy to keep your mind busy.
Q: What if I’m angry at my parent for leaving?
A: Anger is a normal emotion. It’s important to understand why you’re feeling angry. Talk to a trusted adult about your anger. They can help you process your feelings and find healthy ways to cope.
Q: How can I stay connected with my parent when they’re far away?
A: There are lots of ways to stay connected! Video calls, letters, emails, and social media are all great options. Schedule regular calls or chats so you have something to look forward to. Share photos and videos of your daily life with your parent.
Q: What can I do to help out at home?
A: Offer to help with chores around the house, like cleaning, cooking, or doing laundry. Take on some extra responsibilities, like helping with younger siblings. This will not only help your family but also make you feel more responsible and independent.
Q: What if I’m struggling to cope with my parent’s absence?
A: Talk to a counselor or therapist. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and develop coping strategies. Your school might have a counselor, or you can find a therapist in your community. The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) in the Philippines also has a crisis hotline.
References
Philippine Statistics Authority. (Report Title and Date).
World Health Organization. (Report Title and Date).
It’s not easy having a parent work far away, but you’re stronger than you think. Implement these tips, seek support when needed, and remember that your feelings are valid. Start by scheduling a video call with your OFW parent this week. Then, talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. You’ve got this!
