Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough. You’re working hard to provide a better life for your family back home, but it means being away from them. It’s especially hard when you have kids, and you miss important moments like birthdays, school events, and even just tucking them into bed at night. But don’t worry, it’s possible to stay actively involved in your children’s lives, even when you’re thousands of miles away. This article will give you some ideas on how to do just that.
Making Distance Disappear: Communication is Key
Communication is the bridge that connects you to your kids, no matter how far away you are. It’s not just about calling them once a week; it’s about making an effort to talk to them regularly and meaningfully. Think about using video calls like Skype, Zoom, or even just Facebook Messenger. Seeing your face and hearing your voice makes a huge difference compared to just a phone call. Try to schedule regular video calls, maybe once or twice a week, that everyone can look forward to. This becomes “family time” that’s predictable and consistent.
Don’t just ask, “How was your day?” Try asking specific questions about their school subjects, their friends, or their hobbies. For example, “What was the hardest problem in math class today?” or “What game did you play with your friends during recess?” These kinds of questions show that you’re genuinely interested in their lives and encourage them to open up to you.
Also, consider using messaging apps like Viber or WhatsApp to send quick messages throughout the day. You can send them a funny meme, a motivational quote, or just a simple “I’m thinking of you.” This helps them feel connected to you even when you’re busy at work.
Remember, communication isn’t just about talking to them, it’s also about listening. Pay attention to what they’re saying, even if it seems trivial to you. Their problems are real to them, and your support can make a big difference.
Being There From Afar: Participating in Important Events
Missing important events like birthdays, graduations, and school concerts is one of the hardest parts of being an OFW. But there are ways to participate, even if you can’t be there in person. Ask your family to video record these events, or even better, try to video call in real-time. Seeing your face on a screen while they open presents or receive their diploma can make them feel like you’re right there with them.
If you can’t be there for their birthday, consider sending a special gift in advance. You can even order a cake online and have it delivered to their house on their birthday. Write a heartfelt letter or card expressing your love and how much you wish you could be there. These gestures show that you’re thinking of them and that you care.
Talk to your child’s teachers and ask for updates on their schoolwork and activities. You can even schedule a video call with the teacher to discuss their progress. This shows your child that you’re invested in their education, even from afar.
Consider using social media to stay updated on their lives. Ask your family to post pictures and videos of their activities so you can see what they’re up to. You can also leave comments and messages to show your support and encouragement. Just ensure that any pictures or videos shared are done responsibly and with your child’s privacy in mind.
Strengthening the Bond: Creating Shared Experiences
Even though you’re physically apart, you can still create shared experiences with your children. One way to do this is by watching movies or TV shows together. You can start the movie at the same time, and even video call while watching so you can share your reactions and comments. It’s almost like watching a movie together in the same room.
Consider playing online games together. There are many multiplayer games that you can play with your kids, no matter where you are in the world. This is a fun way to bond and spend quality time together. Games such as Minecraft, Roblox and even simple mobile games can all provide avenues for shared experiences.
Another idea is to read books together. You can take turns reading chapters aloud over video call. This is a great way to encourage their reading skills and spend time bonding over a shared story. Find books you both enjoy, maybe even ones you loved as a child.
If you’re able to visit home every now and then, make those visits extra special. Plan fun activities that you can do together as a family. Go to the beach, visit a theme park, or even just have a picnic in the park. The important thing is to spend quality time together and create lasting memories.
Empowering the Caregiver Back Home: Working as a Team
You’re not the only parent in your child’s life. Your spouse, your parents, or whoever is taking care of your children back home is playing a crucial role. It’s important to work as a team with them to ensure your children are well-cared for and supported. Communicate regularly with the caregiver and discuss your children’s needs, concerns, and progress.
Make sure the caregiver has the authority and support they need to make decisions for your children. Trust their judgment and respect their opinions. Remember, they are the ones who are there on a day-to-day basis, and they know your children best.
Avoid undermining the caregiver’s authority in front of your children. This can create confusion and resentment. If you have concerns about how they are handling things, discuss it with them privately and try to find a solution together.
Support the caregiver emotionally and financially. Being a single parent or a caregiver for someone else’s children is hard work. Make sure they have the resources they need to take care of themselves and your children. Show your appreciation for their efforts and let them know that you value their role in your children’s lives.
Studies by organizations such as Ronald McDonald House Charities highlight the critical role of family support systems in children’s well-being, reinforcing the importance of empowering the caregiver.
Financial Support with a Personal Touch: More Than Just Money
As an OFW, you’re likely sending money home to support your family. But remember, money is not the only thing your children need. They also need your love, attention, and support. Make sure to balance your financial support with emotional support. Don’t let money be a substitute for your presence in their lives.
Consider involving your children in financial decisions. If you’re sending money home for a specific purpose, like paying for school fees or buying a new appliance, talk to your children about it. Explain to them why you’re working hard and how the money will benefit the family. This will help them understand the value of money and appreciate your sacrifices.
Think about setting up a savings account for your children’s future. You can start saving for their college education, their first car, or even their future wedding. This will give them a sense of security and hope for the future.
If possible, try to send small gifts or surprises to your children regularly. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive. A simple toy, a book, or even a postcard can make a big difference. It shows that you’re thinking of them and that you care.
Leveraging Technology Responsibly: Staying Connected, Staying Safe
Technology is a powerful tool that can help you stay connected with your children. But it’s important to use technology responsibly and to protect them from potential online dangers. Talk to your children about online safety. Teach them about the risks of sharing personal information with strangers, the importance of being careful about what they post online, and how to deal with cyberbullying.
Consider using parental control software to monitor your children’s online activity. This can help you see what they’re doing online and protect them from inappropriate content. However, be transparent with your children about using parental control software. Explain to them why you’re using it and how it’s meant to protect them.
Encourage your children to use technology for educational purposes. There are many educational apps and websites that can help them learn new things and improve their skills. Make sure they’re using technology in a balanced way and that they’re not spending too much time online.
Stay up-to-date on the latest technology and online trends. This will help you understand the challenges your children are facing online and give you the tools to protect them. Resources such as ConnectSafely and Common Sense Media provides guidance on children’s online safety and media literacy.
Planning for the Future: Homecoming and Beyond
While you’re working abroad, it’s important to plan for your eventual homecoming. Think about what you want to do when you return home and how you can make the transition easier for your children. Start saving money for your homecoming. You’ll need money to cover your living expenses and to start a new life back home. Consider investing in a business or property that can provide you with a stable income.
Talk to your children about your plans for the future. Explain to them when you plan to come home and what you want to do together as a family. This will help them prepare for your homecoming and reduce any anxiety they may be feeling.
When you finally return home, be patient with your children. It may take some time for them to adjust to your presence in their lives. Give them the space they need and be understanding of their feelings. Reintegrate yourself gradually into your children’s lives. Start by spending quality time with them and building a strong relationship. Over time, you can become more involved in their daily activities and routines.
Continue to communicate with your children openly and honestly. Let them know that you’re always there for them and that you’re committed to being an active part of their lives.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions from OFWs on parenting from abroad:
How can I deal with the guilt of being away from my children?
It’s perfectly normal to feel guilty about being away from your children. Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself why you’re working abroad – it’s for their future. Focus on making the most of your time when you do connect, using video calls, messages, and shared activities. Remember that being present emotionally is more important than being present physically all the time. Talk to other OFWs who understand what you’re going through for support and share coping strategies.
My child is acting out. Is it because I’m not there?
It’s possible that your child’s behavior is related to your absence. Children express their emotions in different ways, and acting out can be a sign of sadness, anger, or confusion. Communicate openly with your child and the caregiver at home. Try to understand the root cause of their behavior and address it with patience and understanding. Increased communication, dedicated “together time” over video, and consistent support can help ease their anxieties.
How can I make my children understand why I have to work abroad?
Explain in simple terms why you’re working abroad. Focus on how it benefits the whole family, providing for their needs and future opportunities. Share stories about your work and your experiences, but keep it age-appropriate. Let them know that you miss them terribly and that you’re doing everything you can to return home as soon as possible. Show them pictures of where you live and tell them about your day so they can get a better picture of your life. For example, if your child is young, explain that you are working hard to buy the things they need for school or to fix up their home.
What if my child refuses to talk to me during video calls?
Don’t take it personally. Sometimes children are shy or not in the mood to talk. Try making video calls more fun by playing games, reading stories, or showing them interesting things from your surroundings. Ask open-ended questions such as, “What was the most exciting thing that happened at school today?” Start by talking to the caregiver first and getting them involved in the conversation to ease them into talking to you. Most importantly, be patient and persistent. Eventually, they’ll come around when they see you’re consistently making an effort.
References:
Ronald McDonald House Charities Philippines (RMHC Philippines)
ConnectSafely
Common Sense Media
