Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough, especially when it comes to raising kids from a distance. You’re working hard to provide for their future, but you also worry about missing out on their lives. The good news is, staying connected and engaged is totally possible, even when you’re miles away. This article will share five proven ways OFWs can build strong, loving relationships with their children despite the physical distance.
Making Time for Regular Video Calls
Let’s be honest, sending money isn’t the only thing your kids need. They also need to see your face, hear your voice, and feel your presence. In today’s world, technology makes it easier than ever to do just that. Video calls are your best friend! Schedule regular video calls with your kids, making sure to carve out specific times that work for everyone. Don’t just call when you have a spare five minutes; dedicate quality time to these calls. Think of it as a virtual dinner together or a weekly family meeting.
Make these video calls more engaging than just asking “How was your day?”. Ask specific questions. For example, if your child is learning about fractions in math, ask them to explain it to you. If they had a football game, ask them to describe a key play in detail. Show genuine interest in their lives. Prepare some topics beforehand or come up with fun activities you can do together on the call. It keeps the kids engage, and they appreciate the effort.
For younger children, consider reading a story together virtually. You can even find interactive storybooks online and share your screen. For older children, play a simple online game together or watch a short video and discuss it afterwards. The point is to create a shared experience that goes beyond just talking. Set expectations as well. Agree with your kids on a set day and time to have video calls weekly. This sets a routine and teaches them the value of sticking to commitments even when things get busy.
Remember, consistency is critical. Even if it’s just a short check-in call, keeping to the schedule shows your kids that they are a priority. It’s better to have a short, regular call than a long, infrequent one. Also, be mindful of the time difference. Plan your calls at a time that’s convenient for your kids, even if it means you have to wake up early or stay up late.
Leveraging Technology for Deeper Connection
Beyond basic video calls, explore other ways technology can help you connect. Consider using shared online calendars to track important events in your kids’ lives, like birthdays, school plays, and sports games. This way, you’ll always know what’s happening and can send your well wishes or congratulations.
Messaging apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or Viber are great for quick check-ins and sending photos or videos throughout the day. Don’t just send generic messages; personalize them. For example, if you know your child has a big test, send them an encouraging message the night before and another one in the morning. These small gestures can make a big difference. Many applications, like online gaming, can also be an interactive way of family connection.
If your child is comfortable with it, create a shared photo album or video montage of your time together. This is a great way to reminisce about happy memories and keep your connection strong. Share pictures and video updates as they are growing up as well. These albums can be very valuable for memories.
Actively Participating in Their Education
Just because you’re not physically present doesn’t mean you can’t be involved in your children’s education. Talk to the teachers. You can still attend parent-teacher conferences virtually. Most schools nowadays offer online options for parents who can’t attend in person. Use this opportunity to get updates on your child’s progress, ask questions, and show your support for their learning.
Help with homework, too. Even if you can’t sit next to them, you can still provide guidance and support via video call or messaging apps. Ask them to explain what they’re learning, help them find resources online, and offer encouragement when they’re struggling. For school projects, your ideas can have a big impact on the outcome. Provide resources for the kids anytime they need assistance, but also be careful not to overwhelm them.
Make sure to set aside time to review their schoolwork and assignments, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. This shows that you’re invested in their education and care about their academic performance. Celebrate their achievements. Acknowledge effort, and not just grades, to build confidence.
Motivate your kids to enjoy the learning process so that they do not only focus on winning awards. You can involve the extended members of the family to send gifts or greetings to celebrate a great school day. Many OFWs send personalized cards and gifts when their kids do particularly well in school or extracurricular activities.
Supporting Their Interests and Hobbies
Find out what your children are passionate about, whether it’s sports, music, art, or anything else, and support their interests. If they’re taking piano lessons, ask them to play for you during your video calls. If they’re involved in sports, watch their games online or ask someone to record them for you. This will further show your support.
Encourage them to pursue their hobbies and talents, and provide them with the resources they need. This can mean buying them materials, paying for lessons, or simply offering words of encouragement. Show your support for extracurricular activities and make sure there’s proper balance as well.
Talk about their hobbies during your video calls. Ask them about their progress, their challenges, and their goals. This shows that you’re interested in their lives beyond just schoolwork. You can even share your own hobbies and interests with them. For example, if you enjoy cooking, you can teach them a simple recipe over video call.
Creating Meaningful Traditions
Even when you’re not physically present, you can still create meaningful traditions that your family can cherish. These traditions can help to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories. For example, establish a tradition of sending a birthday card or gift every year, even if you can’t be there in person. You can also send holiday cards or small care packages throughout the year.
During special holidays, like Christmas or New Year’s, make an extra effort to connect with your family. Schedule a longer video call, watch a movie together online, or even send a special gift. If possible, try to plan a visit home during these special occasions. Make the visits meaningful. Come home with gifts but also with quality time.
Another idea is to start a family newsletter or blog, where you can share updates on your life and your children can share their own stories and photos. This is a great way to stay connected and keep everyone in the loop. A common practice is giving a small gift when they pass a test in school.
Consider creating a “memory box” where family members can keep mementos of special occasions, like ticket stubs, photos, and letters. This is a great way to remember happy times and create a sense of shared history. You can even start a regular family game night via video call.
The Power of Snail Mail
In a world of instant communication, there’s something special about receiving a handwritten letter or postcard. Take the time to write your children regularly, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Include photos or small drawings to make it even more personal. Encourage your children to write back to you as well. Sending a heartfelt letter written during your downtimes at work can really show that you care.
You can also send postcards from the places you visit or from your home country. This is a great way to share your adventures with your children and teach them about different cultures and places. Many overseas workers send money, but sending physical items can also have sentimental value for the family.
Planning for the Future Together
Even though you’re living apart, it’s important to involve your children in planning for the future. Talk to them about your goals, your dreams, and your plans for when you eventually return home. This shows that you’re not just working for them, but that you’re also planning for a future together. Saving up enough money to go home for good is usually the goal of Overseas Workers, but it is still important to discuss with the family.
Involve them in financial planning, too. Teach them about saving money, budgeting, and making responsible financial decisions. This will not only help them in the future but also give them a sense of ownership in the family’s financial well-being. Open up about budgeting and how much you earned in a month and how much you send home for them to understand how much effort you are exerting and where the money goes.
Discuss their dreams and aspirations, and help them develop a plan to achieve them. This can mean helping them choose a college, find an internship, or start a business. Show them that you believe in them and that you’re willing to support them in their goals. Ask them what they want in the future, and help them create a vision board that you can all see and refer to.
Building Trust and Open Communication
The foundation of any strong relationship is built on trust and open communication. Encourage your children to talk to you about anything, whether it’s good or bad. Let them know that you’re always there for them, no matter what. Listen to their concerns without judgment, and offer advice and support when needed. Create a non-judgemental environment where they will not fear telling you anything.
Be honest and transparent with your children about your own life and experiences. Share your challenges and successes, and let them know that you’re human, too. Share your struggles, but limit them to a certain extent to avoid overwhelming them. Ask them about the things they want to tell you, and if they don’t want to share a story, then don’t force them. If you notice that they are uncomfortable with something, then let them know that they can always count on you.
Avoid making promises that you can’t keep, and always follow through on your commitments. This will build trust and show your children that you’re reliable. Remember that consistency is key. Staying true to your word is important for them to gain confidence in you. Do what you say you will do, and that will build a strong foundation.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How can I deal with feeling guilty about being away from my children?
It’s normal to feel guilty when you’re an OFW parenting from afar. Acknowledge the feeling, but don’t let it consume you. Focus on what you are doing for your children: providing for their future. Make the most of your time when you connect with them. Open communication and quality over quantity are key. Consider joining support groups for OFWs; sharing experiences with others can be very helpful.
What if my children are having trouble adjusting to me being away?
Be patient and understanding. Their reactions might range from sadness to anger. Listen to their feelings without judgment and validate their emotions. Remind them that you love them and that you’re working hard for their future. Increase the frequency of your communication and try to involve them in planning your visits home. If problems persist, consider talking to the school counselor or a child psychologist.
How can I make sure my children don’t forget about me?
Consistency is key! Regular video calls, messages, and letters will help maintain your presence in their lives. Share photos and videos of your life abroad. Ask about their daily routines and share yours. Involve yourself in their education and hobbies. Create traditions that keep you connected, even from afar.
My children are being raised by my parents/relatives. How do I ensure they’re following my parenting style?
Open and honest communication with your children’s caretakers is crucial. Discuss your parenting philosophies and expectations clearly. Respect their experience but gently guide them on how you want your children raised. Regular check-ins and constructive feedback are essential. Remember, it is a collaborative effort.
How do I handle discipline from a distance?
Discipline from afar requires a united front with your children’s caretakers. Discuss disciplinary strategies beforehand and ensure consistency. Focus on communication and understanding. When addressing misbehavior, listen to your child’s perspective and explain the consequences of their actions calmly. Positive reinforcement when they display good behavior is also important. Avoid harsh punishments and focus on teaching them the right values.
References
- Bryant, A. L., Sanders, M. R., &рым, J. (2006). Using technology to deliver evidence-based parenting support: The Triple P Online study. Behavior Therapy, 37(2), 192-205.
- De Guzman, A. B., & Tan, J. B. (2007). Filipino overseas contract workers: Their experiences and children’s adjustment. Philippine Journal of Psychology, 40(1), 31-54.
- UNDESA. (2020). International Migration 2020 Highlights. United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs.
This is your chance to bridge the distance and build an even stronger bond with your children. Take action today – schedule that video call, write that letter, and start planning for your future together. Your children deserve your love and presence, no matter how far away you are. Start implementing these tips, see the difference, and create beautiful memories that will last a lifetime. Don’t delay, connect today!
