Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough, especially when you’re a parent. It means sacrificing time with your kids to provide for them. But here’s a secret: your success abroad isn’t just about working hard. It’s also about building a strong support system back home. This network will help your family thrive, even when you’re miles away.
The Cornerstone: Your Spouse or Partner
If you have a spouse or partner, they’re the most crucial part of your support system. They’re the one on the ground, handling everyday life. It’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page, even from afar. This means regular communication, open discussions about finances, and shared decision-making. Think of your relationship as a team. You’re both playing different positions, but you’re working towards the same goal: the well-being of your family. If you argue often, try scheduling time dedicated to communication, without distractions. Agree on a safe topic to practice active listening. Focus on solutions, not accusations.
For instance, Maria, an OFW in Saudi Arabia, makes it a point to video call her husband every night. They talk about his day at work, the kids’ school activities, and any challenges he’s facing. This regular communication helps her stay connected and ensures they’re both making decisions together. She also schedules surprise deliveries of his favorite snacks to his office as a way of showing her appreciation and keeping the spark alive. Small gestures of care keep the foundation strong.
Grandparents: A Source of Wisdom and Support
Grandparents can be a huge asset to your support system. They often have the time and experience to help with childcare, offer advice, and provide emotional support to your children. Their love and care can fill a void that your absence might create. Communicate regularly with the grandparents, keeping them updated on your children’s progress and any concerns you have. More importantly, encourage your children to spend quality time with their grandparents. This strengthens the family bond and provides your kids with a sense of stability.
Consider this: When Ben left for Canada, his kids were struggling to adjust. His parents stepped in, volunteering to pick up his kids from school, help them with their homework, bring them to extra curricular activities, and provide them with home cooked meal. This allowed Ben’s wife to focus on her work and eased the transition significantly. Ben’s success in Canada is due largely to his parents’ commitment to his children.
Siblings and Other Relatives: Extending the Safety Net
Don’t underestimate the power of your extended family. Siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins can all play a role in your support system. They can help with errands, provide transportation, offer a listening ear, or simply be there for your family when they need it. Create a family chat group to stay in touch and coordinate support. Organize regular family gatherings, even if you can’t attend, to maintain connections and strengthen relationships. A common tactic is to divide tasks related to the kids. Older siblings can tutor younger ones; aunts or uncles can act as mentors, and so on.
If you are sending money home, consider allocating some of the funds to a “family emergency fund” that relatives can access in case of unexpected expenses or needs. Discuss with your relatives the specific situations in which they can utilize this fund and establish clear guidelines for transparency and accountability.
Close Friends: Your Chosen Family
Friends can be an important part of your support network, especially if your family isn’t nearby. Look for friends who are reliable, trustworthy, and genuinely care about your family’s well-being. They can offer a shoulder to cry on, provide childcare, or simply be a source of companionship for your spouse and children. Encourage your family to nurture these friendships. Regular phone calls, video chats, and occasional visits can help maintain these connections. You can consider having a close friend act as a “designated emergency contact” for your family, someone who can be readily available to assist in unexpected situations.
For instance, when Susan’s daughter had a bad fall, her best friend, not a relative, was the first one to rush her to the hospital. Because Susan was overseas, her friend helped coordinate with the doctors and provided emotional support to Susan’s husband. That help was crucial because Susan’s husband was away on a business trip that week. Good friends can become like family.
The Community: Tapping into Local Resources
Don’t forget about the resources available within your community. Schools, churches, and local organizations can offer valuable support and assistance. Get involved in your children’s school activities. This helps you stay informed about their progress and allows you to build relationships with their teachers and other parents. Churches and other community groups often offer support programs for families, such as counseling, childcare, and financial assistance. Look for these resources in your area and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. Depending on the needs of your loved ones, you might want to establish connections with local healthcare providers, repairmen, and other service providers. This can save time and alleviate stress when emergencies arise.
One good example is how Roger’s local church helped his family when his wife got sick. Church members volunteered to bring meals, drive his kids to school, and provide emotional support. This outpouring of support made a difficult time much easier for his family.
Utilizing Technology: Staying Connected from Afar
Technology is your best friend as an OFW. Use it to stay connected with your family and manage your support system from afar. Video calls are a great way to see your loved ones and have face-to-face conversations. Messaging apps allow you to communicate quickly and easily throughout the day. Social media can help you stay updated on your family’s activities and events. There are also apps specifically designed to help families stay organized and connected, such as shared calendars, to-do lists, and family messaging boards. However, it’s important to use technology responsibly and avoid letting it replace real-life interactions. Set specific times for video calls and stick to them. Be present and engaged when you’re communicating with your family. Encourage your loved ones to have “tech-free” time to focus on each other and build stronger relationships.
Furthermore, teach your family how to utilize online banking, mobile payment applications, and other digital tools to manage their finances effectively. Provide them with clear instructions, security guidelines, and readily available support to ensure they can utilize these technologies confidently.
Financial Planning: Ensuring Long-Term Security
Money is often the reason people become OFWs. But sending money isn’t enough. Work with your family to create a sound financial plan that addresses both immediate needs and long-term goals. This includes budgeting, saving, investing, and insurance. A clear plan can help minimize financial stress and provide a sense of security for your family. Regular financial check-ins with your family are important. Discuss income, expenses, and investments. Make sure everyone understands the plan and is working towards the same goals. It’s also beneficial to create a budget for household expenses, education, healthcare, and emergencies, so your family knows the limitations.
Many OFWs avail themselves of financial literacy programs offered by various organizations. These programs teach families how to manage their money wisely and avoid common financial pitfalls. Investing in things like real estate, mutual funds, or stocks can grow financial resources that are beneficial for the long term. Don’t forget to set aside an emergency fund that can cover unexpected expenses, such as medical bills or home repairs.
Empowering Your Family: Fostering Independence and Resilience
While it’s important to provide support, it’s also important to empower your family to be independent and resilient. Encourage your children to take responsibility for their actions. Teach them problem-solving skills and encourage them to find solutions on their own. Create opportunities for your spouse to grow and develop their skills and interests. The point is to help cultivate self-reliance. Equip your family with the necessary skills and resources to handle unexpected challenges. Teach them practical skills, such as basic home repairs, car maintenance, and first aid.
A wise idea is to involve your children in household chores and responsibilities. This teaches them valuable life skills and fosters a sense of ownership. Consider assigning each family member specific tasks and allocate a budget for them to manage independently. This promotes financial literacy and accountability.
Addressing Emotional Needs: Recognizing and Responding to Feelings
Being an OFW parent can take a toll on your family’s emotional well-being. Your absence can lead to feelings of loneliness, sadness, and resentment. It’s important to be aware of these feelings and address them proactively. Encourage open communication. Create a safe space where your family members can express their feelings without judgment. Listen actively and validate their emotions. Spend quality time with your family, even if it’s just through video calls or messaging. Remind them of your love and commitment. Most of all, seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance for dealing with the emotional challenges of being separated from a loved one. You can even find remote therapy options, so there are no more excuses.
For example, Jessica, an OFW in Singapore, noticed that her teenage daughter was becoming withdrawn and irritable. She reached out to a therapist who specialized in working with children of OFWs. The therapist helped her daughter express her feelings and develop coping mechanisms for dealing with her mother’s absence. Jessica also made a more conscious effort to communicate with her daughter more regularly and to plan special activities for when she came home on vacation.
Planning for Your Return: Transitioning Back Home
Eventually, you’ll want to return home permanently. Start planning for this transition well in advance. Consider your financial situation, your career goals, and your family’s needs. Begin saving money specifically for your return. Explore job opportunities in your home country. Discuss your plans with your family and involve them in the decision-making process. When you finally return home, be patient and understanding. It may take time for everyone to adjust to the new dynamic. Be prepared to renegotiate roles and responsibilities within the family. Focus on reconnecting with your loved ones and rebuilding your relationships. You may consider easing back into the situation especially if your absence was for more than a few years. Spend more time focusing on what your children have been up to, their needs, and desires. Remember why you left in the first place and how important your family is.
FAQ Section: Common Questions about OFW Family Support
How can I build trust with my family when I’m so far away?
Trust is built over time through consistent actions and open communication. Be reliable and keep your promises. Always be honest and transparent, even when it’s difficult. Regularly communicate your plans and involve your family in decision-making. Show your love and support through your words and actions.
What should I do if my spouse is struggling to cope with my absence?
First, acknowledge and validate their feelings. Listen to their concerns and offer your support. Consider couple’s counseling, either in person or online. Make an effort to show your appreciation and affection. Plan regular date nights, even if it’s just a video call. Most importantly, reassure them of your love and commitment.
How can I stay involved in my children’s lives when I’m working abroad?
Make use of technology to stay connected. Video calls, messaging apps, and social media can help you stay updated on their activities and events. Attend school events virtually whenever possible. Help them with their homework and projects online. Most importantly, make time for quality conversations and let them know you care.
What if my family is resistant to help from others?
Start by understanding their reasons for resistance. They may be proud, independent, or distrustful of others. Gently explain why you think they need help and emphasize that it’s not a sign of weakness. Offer to be involved in the process of finding and vetting potential helpers. Assure them that you’ll still be there for them, even with the added support.
How can I ensure that my children are being raised with good values when I’m not there?
Communicate your values clearly and consistently. Talk to your children about right and wrong. Set a good example through your own actions. Involve them in religious or spiritual activities if that’s important to your family. Find positive role models for them to look up to. Most of all, teach them to think for themselves and make responsible choices.
References
Note: The following references do not contain active links as per the instructions.
Scalabrini Migration Center. (2018). Migration Facts and Figures. Manila, Philippines.
United Nations. (2020). Sustainable Development Goals Report. New York.
Philippine Statistics Authority. (2022). Survey on Overseas Filipinos. Manila, Philippines.
Being an OFW parent is a challenging journey, but it’s one that many Filipinos undertake with courage and determination. By building a strong support system, you can ensure that your family thrives, even when you’re miles away. This means focusing on your spouse, building relationships with parents, siblings, and friends, relying on community support, and making use of technology. By investing in the emotional and financial well-being of your loved ones, you can create a brighter future for your family and make your time abroad a valuable investment.
Ready to build your OFW family’s safety net? Start today! Reach out to a family member or friend and begin the conversation about creating a stronger support system. Explore resources in your community. Take concrete steps to empower your family and improve communication. Your family’s future could depend on it!
