Hi, Kapamilya! Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough, especially when you’re separated from your family. Video calls are a lifeline, connecting you to your loved ones back home. But sometimes those calls can feel… awkward, or not as fulfilling as you’d hoped. This guide is packed with simple, practical tips to make your video calls with your kids and family more meaningful and enjoyable. We’ll cover everything from tech setup to conversation starters, so you can bridge the distance and stay connected.
Before the Call: Getting Ready to Connect
It’s like preparing for a special guest – a little planning goes a long way! Think about it: a smooth video call starts way before you hit that “call” button. First, check your internet connection. Nothing’s more frustrating than a pixelated image or a dropped call right in the middle of a heartwarming story. Run a speed test online to see if your connection is up to par. If you’re having issues, try restarting your router. Sometimes, that simple trick works wonders! Talk to your internet provider about upgrading if needed. Good internet is an investment in your family connection.
Next, choose the right device and app. Are you using your phone, tablet, or laptop? Each has pros and cons. Phones are portable, but the screen is small. Tablets offer a larger screen, and laptops generally have better cameras and microphones. As for the app, stick to what your family uses – whether it’s Skype, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp, or something else. Make sure you have the latest version installed for optimal performance. For example, newer versions of WhatsApp have better video quality and features.
And lastly, think about the time. Coordinate with your family to find a time that works for everyone. Factor in time differences, work schedules, and school activities. A little consideration can make a big difference in ensuring everyone’s present and engaged.
Setting the Stage: Creating a Conducive Environment
Think of it like setting the scene for a movie, but instead of Oscars, you’re aiming for heartfelt connections. Find a quiet place. Background noise can be distracting and make it hard to hear each other. Avoid calling from a busy street, a noisy cafeteria, or a construction site. A quiet room in your apartment or a peaceful corner in your workplace will do the trick.
Pay attention to lighting and background. Good lighting makes a huge difference in video quality. Face a window or a light source so your face is well-lit. Avoid having the light behind you, as this will create a silhouette effect. As for the background, choose something simple and uncluttered. A blank wall or a bookshelf is fine. Avoid showing anything too personal or distracting. For the kids, a tidy play area or their bedroom will work wonderfully.
Dress appropriately. You don’t have to wear a formal suit, but dressing neatly shows respect for your family. It signals that you’re making an effort to connect with them. Change out of your work uniform or house clothes. A simple, clean shirt will do.
Making the Call: Engaging Your Family
Okay, you’ve got the tech and the environment sorted. Now comes the fun part: connecting with your family! But what do you actually say? What if they just stare blankly at the screen? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Start with genuine greetings. A simple “Kumusta kayo?” (How are you?) or “Magandang araw!” (Good day!) goes a long way. Say their names and express how happy you are to see them. “Hello, anak! Ang laki mo na!” (Hello, my child! You’ve grown so much!).
Ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Instead, ask questions that encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of asking “Did you have a good day at school?”, ask “What was the most interesting thing you learned at school today?” or “Tell me about your favorite part of today.”
Listen actively. This is crucial. Put away distractions, make eye contact (look at the camera!), and really listen to what your family is saying. Nod your head, offer words of encouragement, and ask follow-up questions. Show them that you’re genuinely interested in their lives. If they’re telling a story about school, ask about their friends and teachers. Active listening strengthens your bond and makes them feel valued.
Share your own experiences. Don’t just focus on asking questions. Share your own experiences and stories too. Tell them about your day at work, your new friends, or your favorite places in your host country. Be mindful of what you share, though. Avoid complaining too much or sharing details that might worry them. Focus on positive and uplifting stories. “Today at work, I tried a new dish called , and it reminded me of Mama’s cooking!” This invites a connection and shows them you’re thinking of them.
Don’t be afraid of silence. Sometimes, awkward silences happen, especially with younger kids. Don’t feel pressured to fill every moment with conversation. Just be present and available. You can try showing them something interesting from your surroundings, reading a book together, or just simply being there with them. These moments of quiet connection can be just as meaningful as lively conversations. Just holding the space together can be reassuring.
Engaging the Kids: Making it Fun and Interactive
Keeping kids engaged during video calls can be a challenge. Their attention spans are shorter, and they can easily get bored. Here are some tips to make those calls fun and interactive: Play games. There are tons of online games you can play together, from classic board games like checkers and chess to online trivia games. You can also play simple games like “I Spy” or “20 Questions” using objects in each other’s surroundings. Ask your kids what kind of games they like to play, and find a way to adapt them for video calls.
Read stories together. This is a great way to bond with your kids and encourage their love of reading. Find a book that you both enjoy, and take turns reading aloud. You can even make silly voices for the different characters to make it more entertaining. Online libraries often have free ebooks for kids, if buying is too expensive. You can even find stories on YouTube!
Show and tell. Encourage your kids to show you their toys, drawings, or other creations. Ask them to tell you about them and why they’re special. You can also show them things from your surroundings – your work, your apartment, or a local landmark. “Look, anak, this is the park where I like to relax after work!” This gives them a glimpse into your life and helps them feel more connected to you.
Sing songs or do dances. Get silly and have fun! Sing your favorite Filipino songs together, or learn new songs that your kids are learning in school. Put on some music and dance together, even if you’re miles apart. Laughter is a great way to bond and create positive memories. It will definitely brighten everybody´s mood.
Be patient. Kids can be unpredictable. They might lose interest quickly, get distracted, or refuse to cooperate. Don’t get frustrated. Just be patient and try to redirect their attention. If they’re not in the mood for a video call, don’t force it. Try again another time. Remember, the goal is to connect with them, not to force them to perform.
Keeping the Connection Alive: Beyond the Video Call
Video calls are a great way to stay connected, but they’re not the only way. There are lots of other things you can do to keep the connection alive between calls: Send letters and postcards. In the age of digital communication, receiving a handwritten letter is a special treat. Write to your kids and tell them about your life, your thoughts, and your feelings. Send them postcards from the places you visit. They’ll cherish these tangible reminders of your love and care. Even something as simple as a ‘thinking of you’ card means a lot.
Send care packages. Surprise your family with a care package filled with their favorite treats, toys, or other goodies. Include things that remind them of you or your home country. Remember to check with the courier of any restricted or prohibited items! Your family will appreciate the thoughtfulness and effort you put into it.
Share photos and videos. Use social media or messaging apps to share photos and videos of your life abroad. This helps your family feel like they’re a part of your world. You can share photos of your workplace, your friends, your favorite restaurants, or the places you visit. Create short videos showcasing your day-to-day activities.
Schedule regular chat times. Set aside specific times each week to chat with your family, even if it’s just for a few minutes. This helps them feel like you’re always there for them, even when you’re far away. Create a routine that works for everyone, like chatting every Sunday evening or calling before bedtime. Consistency is key.
Be present in their lives, even from afar. Ask about their schoolwork, their hobbies, and their friends. Attend their virtual school events, like graduation ceremonies or parent-teacher conferences. Celebrate their birthdays and holidays with them, even if you can’t be there in person. Show them that you’re interested in their lives and that you care about what’s important to them. Being present means being involved.
Dealing with Challenges: Troubleshooting Video Call Problems
Let’s face it, sometimes things go wrong. The internet cuts out, the camera doesn’t work, or someone’s feeling grumpy. Here’s how to handle common video call challenges: Technical difficulties: The first step is to stay calm. Take a deep breath and try to troubleshoot the problem. Check your internet connection, restart your device, and make sure the app is up to date. If you can’t fix the problem yourself, ask for help from a tech-savvy friend or family member. Or call the service provider if there is an outage.
Emotional distress: Sometimes, video calls can bring up strong emotions, especially for children. They might miss you terribly, feel jealous of other kids who have their parents around, or get frustrated with the distance. Be sensitive to their feelings and offer them reassurance and support. Let them know that you love them and that you’re doing everything you can to come home. Talk about your feelings, too. Don’t be afraid to express how much you miss them. Sharing this vulnerability can strengthen your relationship.
Communication barriers: Sometimes, it can be difficult to communicate effectively over video calls, especially if there are language barriers or cultural differences. Speak clearly and slowly, use simple language, and avoid using slang or jargon. Be patient and understanding, and try to find common ground. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and celebrate your shared culture and heritage. Perhaps incorporate words in their native tongue into the conversation. Children love that.
Time constraints: It can be challenging to find the time for regular video calls, especially if you have a busy work schedule or a large time difference. Be flexible and creative with your scheduling. Try to find short windows of time to connect with your family, even if it’s just for a few minutes. You can also use messaging apps to stay in touch throughout the day. The occasional message makes them feel near to you.
Special Occasions: Making Celebrations Memorable
Birthdays, holidays, graduations – these are the moments you wish you could be there in person. But even from afar, you can make these occasions special. Plan ahead. Don’t wait until the last minute to start planning. Start thinking about what you want to do well in advance, and involve your family in the planning process. Ask them what they want to do, what gifts they want, and what kind of celebration they envision.
Send gifts in advance. Order gifts online and have them delivered to your family’s home in time for the celebration. Choose gifts that are meaningful and personal, not just generic items. Include a handwritten card expressing your love and well wishes. It´s the thought that counts.
Host a virtual party. Use video conferencing tools to host a virtual party with your family and friends. You can play games, share stories, sing songs, and even have a virtual meal together. Get creative with decorations and themes to make it feel like a real party. Coordinate with your family to decorate the house and prepare for the celebration.
Create a video montage. Gather photos and videos of your family and friends and create a video montage to share during the celebration. Include personal messages, memories, and well wishes. This is a heartfelt way to show your love and appreciation. It´s like giving a gift that lasts a lifetime.
Coordinate with someone on the ground. Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you coordinate the celebration from afar. They can help with the decorations, the food, the gifts, and the overall logistics. This will take some of the pressure off you and ensure that everything runs smoothly.
Maintaining a Positive Mindset: Focusing on the Good
Being an OFW is challenging, and it’s easy to get caught up in the negative aspects of being away from your family. But it’s important to maintain a positive mindset and focus on the good things in your life. Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing, and focus on the benefits that your work is providing for your family. Practice gratitude. Take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, both big and small. Be grateful for your health, your job, your friends, and your family. Listing these in a journal helps. Gratitude helps shift your focus to the positive.
Stay connected with your Filipino community. Connect with other OFWs in your area and offer each other support and encouragement. Share your experiences, your challenges, and your successes. Organize gatherings, celebrations, and activities to help each other feel more connected to home. Being with people who understand your experiences can ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Focus on your goals. Remind yourself of your goals and the reasons why you’re working abroad. Focus on the long-term benefits that your work will provide for your family, such as a better education, a brighter future, or a more comfortable life. Write down your goals and look at them often. Use some of your free time to work towards your goals, whether it’s taking classes or saving money.
Take care of yourself. Don’t forget to prioritize your own health and well-being. Get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and find time to relax and de-stress. Engage in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. If you neglect your own needs, you’ll have less energy and motivation to connect with your family.
FAQ Section
Q: My internet connection is really bad. What can I do?
A: It’s super frustrating when your internet is acting up! First, try restarting your router and modem. Surprisingly often, this fixes the problem. If that doesn’t work, check your internet speed – you can find free speed tests online. If your speed is consistently low, it’s worth talking to your internet provider about upgrading your plan. Also, try moving closer to your router during video calls. If you use Wi-Fi on your phone, maybe try using mobile data if the signal is stronger. Finally, have the people in your home lessen their use of bandwidth during the call (ex. limit streaming or downloading activities).
Q: My kids don’t seem interested in video calls. What should I do?
A: This is a common issue! Kids have short attention spans. Try to make the video calls shorter and more interactive. Play games, read stories, or show them something interesting from your surroundings. Most importantly, don’t force it. If they’re not in the mood, reschedule for another time. Little children especially don’t always understand why you aren’t ‘really’ there – so have extra patience with the kids if that happens.
Q: How can I manage the time difference?
A: Time differences can be tricky. The best approach is to find a time that works for at least most of the involved parties. Be consistent, even if it means waking up early or staying up late to call. Use online time zone converters to figure out the best time for everyone. Alternate the schedule to be fair. It’s important to establish and stick to a routine so they become accustomed to the time.
Q: I feel guilty about being away from my family. How can I cope with guilt?
A: Guilt is a natural emotion when you’re working far away from your family. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them consume you. Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing and focus on the positive impact it’s having on your family’s future. Connect with other OFWs who understand your struggles. Schedule time in your day (even 5-10 mins) to focus on doing something you enjoy.
Q: How can I make the video calls more personal and meaningful?
A: Ditch the small talk and dive into deeper conversations. Ask about their hopes, dreams, and fears. Share your own vulnerabilities. Make it a habit to talk about your shared history and fond memories. Plan special things to do ‘together’ – like watching the same movie at the same time, or cooking the same meal. The goal is not to overwhelm a particular call, but take baby steps in building a continuous connection that keeps you closer than you think.
Q: What if I get too emotional during a video call and start crying?
A: It’s okay to cry! It shows your family how much you care about them. Don’t be ashamed to express your emotions. Just take a moment to compose yourself, breathe deeply, and explain why you’re feeling emotional. It’s something natural and a sign of love. Let them also share their emotions and just listen. You can also plan some happy activity together right away to lighten the mood.
Call To Action
Okay, Kapamilya, you’ve got the tools and tips to make your video calls with your family more meaningful. Now it’s time to take action! Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment – there’s no such thing. Pick up your phone, schedule that call, and make a conscious effort to connect with your loved ones today. Start with one small change – maybe asking a more open-ended question or sharing a funny story. Every little bit helps. The distance may be great, but the connection can be even stronger. Your family is waiting for you, and they deserve your best. Show them how much you care, one video call at a time.
References
- Pew Research Center, “Mobile Technology and Home Broadband 2021”
- World Health Organization, “Mental health and psychosocial considerations during the COVID-19 outbreak”
- United Nations, “International Migration Report 2020”
