Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough. You work hard to provide for your family back home, which often means being away from your kids for long periods. It’s natural to worry about them. This guide is here to help you, as an OFW, build resilient children, even from afar – kids who are independent, confident, and ready to face whatever life throws their way.
Understanding Resilience: What Does It Really Mean?
Resilience isn’t about avoiding tough times. It’s about bouncing back from them. Think of it like a rubber band. It can stretch and bend, but it returns to its original shape. Resilient kids are the same. They might feel sad or stressed when facing a challenge, but they have the skills and support to cope and recover.
For children of OFWs, building resilience is especially crucial. They might feel the absence of a parent more keenly than other kids. They might face worries about your safety, or feel different from their friends. A study from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) highlights the emotional challenges faced by children left behind by OFW parents. We will discuss this concern and offer actionable tips and strategies for building your child’s strength and boosting their confidence.
The Power of Open Communication: Staying Connected From Afar
Even with miles between you, real communication is key. It’s not just about knowing they’re okay. It’s about making them feel heard, loved, and understood. Schedule regular video calls. Talk about their day, their worries, and their dreams. Be a good listener. Ask questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “Is there anything you’re worried about right now?” Simple questions can open up important conversations.
Don’t just talk to them, talk with them. Share things about your life too, (age appropriate, of course). Where you work, what you do, the people you meet. When they understand your world, they feel more connected to you, even when you’re far away.
Consider using messaging apps or creating a private family Facebook group to stay in touch daily. Share photos, funny stories, or encouraging messages. Even a simple “Thinking of you” can make a big difference.
Nurturing Independence: Giving Them the Space to Grow
It’s tempting to want to do everything for your kids, especially when you’re not always there. But overprotecting them can actually hinder their growth. Instead, encourage them to become more independent. Start small. Assign age-appropriate chores, like helping with dishes, tidying their room, or running errands.
One practical tip is to create a “responsibility chart.” This is a visual way to track tasks and rewards. For younger kids, use stickers or stars. For older kids, consider small allowances or privileges. The goal is to teach them responsibility and accountability.
Allow them to make their own choices, even if you don’t always agree with them. This doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want. It means giving them the space to learn from their mistakes. If they choose to wear mismatched socks, let them! It’s a small consequence, but it can teach them a valuable lesson. Encourage them to problem-solve when they encounter challenges.
Boosting Confidence: Recognizing Their Strengths and Achievements
Confidence comes from believing in yourself. As an OFW parent, you have a powerful role in building your child’s self-esteem. Focus on their strengths. What are they good at? What do they enjoy doing? Encourage them to pursue their interests, whether it’s sports, art, music, or something else entirely. Celebrate their efforts and achievements, no matter how small.
Avoid comparing them to others, especially siblings or cousins. Every child is unique and has their own talents and abilities. Focus on their individual progress. Instead of saying, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”, say, “I’m so proud of how much you’ve improved in math!”
Provide opportunities for them to succeed. This could mean enrolling them in a class, signing them up for a team, or simply giving them a challenging task at home. When they experience success, they’ll feel more confident in their abilities.
Teaching your children to embrace failure can be key to building resilience. Children should understand that everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. Making mistakes can be great learning opportunities. When they mess up, encourage them to reflect on what happened, why it happened, and what they can do differently next time.
The Role of Caregivers: Building a Strong Support System
You can’t do it alone. Your child’s caregiver, whether it’s a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or family friend, plays a crucial role in their development. Make sure they understand your values and parenting style. Have open and honest conversations about your expectations. It’s helpful to have a set of house rules that everyone follows.
Establish clear communication channels with the caregiver. Stay in regular contact with them to check in on your child’s progress and address any concerns. Provide them with the resources they need, whether it’s money for school supplies, access to healthcare, or emotional support. Remember, they are your partner in raising your child.
Make sure the caregiver is providing a loving and supportive environment. Children need to feel safe and secure in order to thrive. If you have any concerns about the caregiver’s behavior or abilities, address them immediately. Your child’s well-being should always be your top priority.
Financial Literacy: Teaching Smart Money Habits Early
Although it might seem early, teaching your kids about money management can nurture their resilience and independence. Explain the value of hard work. Talk about your own sacrifices and how you’re working abroad to provide for the family. This can help them appreciate the importance of money and avoid taking it for granted.
Involve them in family budgeting decisions. Let them see how you plan your expenses and save for the future. Help them understand the difference between needs and wants. You can start with small allowances and encourage them to save a portion of it for a specific goal.
Teach them about the importance of saving and investing. Open a savings account for them and show them how their money can grow over time. As they get older, you can introduce them to basic investment concepts. According to a study by the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP), financial literacy among young Filipinos is relatively low, highlighting the need for early financial education.
Addressing Emotional Challenges: Recognizing and Responding to Stress
Children of OFWs may experience a range of emotional challenges, including loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and anger. It’s important to recognize these emotions and provide them with the support they need. Be patient and understanding. Validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad or lonely.
Encourage them to talk about their emotions. Create a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Listen without judgment. Offer reassurance and empathy. If they’re struggling to express themselves, you can suggest journaling, drawing, or other creative outlets.
If you notice signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, seek professional help. There are many resources available to support children of OFWs. Consider online therapy or counseling services that can provide your child with the support they need, even if you’re not physically present. The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) also provides programs and services for families of OFWs.
Leveraging Technology: Making the Most of Digital Resources
Technology can be a powerful tool for connecting with your children and supporting their development. Use video calls to stay in touch regularly. Explore educational apps and websites that can help them with their studies. Find online communities where they can connect with other children of OFWs.
However, it’s important to set limits on screen time. Too much screen time can lead to addiction, sleep problems, and other health issues. Encourage them to engage in other activities, such as playing outdoors, reading, or spending time with family and friends. Monitor their online activity and teach them about online safety. Show them how to spot fake news and avoid cyberbullying.
Use technology to your advantage. There are many online resources available for OFW families. You can find support groups, educational materials, and even financial planning tools. Take advantage of these resources to support yourself and your family.
Building a Strong Family Identity: Maintaining Cultural Traditions
Even when you’re far away, it’s important to maintain a strong family identity. Continue to celebrate Filipino traditions and customs. Share stories about your family history. Cook Filipino food together (even if it’s over video call!). This can help your children feel connected to their heritage and their family, even when you’re not physically present.
Teach them about Filipino values, such as respect for elders, strong family ties, and hard work. Emphasize the importance of giving back to the community. Encourage them to participate in cultural events and activities. This can help them develop a sense of pride in their heritage and strengthen their connection to their family.
Learn about the culture of the country where you’re working. Share your experiences with your children. This can help them develop a broader perspective and become more open-minded. It can also help them appreciate the sacrifices you’re making to provide for them.
Long-Term Planning: Preparing for Your Return
Working abroad is often a temporary arrangement. It’s important to plan for your eventual return to the Philippines. Start saving for your future. Develop a financial plan that includes your retirement goals, your children’s education, and other important expenses.
Stay connected to your community. Maintain relationships with family and friends. Consider investing in a business or property that you can manage when you return. This can help you transition back to life in the Philippines more smoothly.
Talk to your children about your plans. Let them know when you expect to return and what you plan to do when you get back. This can help them adjust to the idea of your return and reduce any anxiety they may be feeling. It’s important that you plan with them as they may be older, more independent, and have their own preferences. Involving them in the planning process will show that their opinion and perspective matter.
FAQ Section
Here’s a compilation of some frequently asked questions to help you further:
How can I deal with my guilt about being away from my children?
It’s normal to feel guilty about being away from your children. Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself why you made this sacrifice. Focus on the positive impact your work has on your family’s future. Schedule regular video calls, write letters, and send small gifts to show your love and support. Talk to other OFWs who understand what you’re going through. Seeking support from online communities of OFWs can also help you cope with their guilt.
My child is acting out since I left. What should I do?
Acting out can be a sign that your child is struggling to cope with your absence. Try to understand the underlying cause of their behavior. Talk to them about their feelings. Set clear boundaries and consequences for their actions. Work closely with the caregiver to provide consistent discipline and support. If the behavior persists, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.
How can I make sure my child is safe online?
Online safety is crucial in today’s digital world. Talk to your child about the dangers of the internet, such as cyberbullying, online predators, and inappropriate content. Set clear rules about internet usage, including screen time limits and websites they can visit. Monitor their online activity and teach them how to protect their personal information. Use parental control software to block inappropriate content and track their online activity. Regularly review their online behavior and address any concerns immediately.
How can I stay involved in my child’s education from abroad?
Stay in regular contact with your child’s teachers. Ask for updates on their progress and any challenges they may be facing. Attend school events virtually, if possible. Help your child with their homework and projects. Provide them with the resources they need to succeed in school, such as books, school supplies, and tutoring. Encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities. Show them that you value education and that you support their academic goals.
What are the signs of depression or anxiety in children?
Signs of depression or anxiety in children include persistent sadness or irritability, loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, changes in sleep or appetite, difficulty concentrating, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, social withdrawal, and physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches. If you notice any of these signs, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Early intervention is crucial for addressing mental health issues in children.
How can I encourage my child to pursue their dreams even if I’m not there to support them in person?
Show your child that you believe in them. Encourage them to pursue their passions and talents. Provide them with the resources they need to achieve their goals, such as classes, equipment, or mentorship. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small. Remind them that you’re always there for them, even if you’re not physically present. Use technology to stay connected and provide encouragement and support. Help them connect with role models who can inspire them and provide guidance.
My child resents me for working abroad. How can I address this?
It’s understandable that your child may feel resentful about your absence. Validate their feelings and acknowledge their frustrations. Explain to them (in an age-appropriate way) why you chose to work abroad and the sacrifices you’re making for the family. Spend quality time with them when you visit home. Make sure your time is focused on them. Show them how much you love and appreciate them. Seek professional help if the resentment persists and is affecting your relationship.
References
Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA). (Year). Report Title.
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP). (Year). Report Title.
Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD). (Year). Program/Service Details.
You’re doing a fantastic job! Being an OFW parent is undeniably challenging, but your commitment to your children’s well-being is truly admirable. Implement these strategies, stay connected, and nurture their resilience. Take action today! Schedule a video call with your children, create a responsibility chart, or start a conversation about their feelings. Your efforts will make a lasting difference in their lives. Remember, you’re not alone. Many resources and support systems are available to help you and your family thrive, even from afar. You’ve got this!
