The Power of Tradition: Keeping Filipino Culture Alive in OFW Families

When a Filipino family has a member working overseas as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), it’s a big change. It’s not just about money; it’s also about missing someone important and trying to keep Filipino traditions alive even when they’re far away. This article explores the heartwarming efforts of OFW families to connect with their culture, sharing practical tips and real-life stories to help you do the same.

The Heartbreak and Hope: Why Tradition Matters

Imagine Nanay Elena, who works as a nurse in Canada. She misses her children’s birthdays, family fiestas, and even just simple Sunday lunches together. She feels like she’s missing out on so much. This feeling is common among OFWs. Tradition acts as a bridge, allowing her to feel connected to her family back home and reminding her of her identity. It provides comfort and a sense of belonging, especially when navigating a new and sometimes isolating environment. Keeping traditions alive for children left behind helps them understand their roots and feel part of a larger story, strengthening their sense of self and identity. This is particularly important for children who might otherwise feel disconnected from their Filipino heritage.

Speaking the Language of Home: Maintaining Filipino Language

Language is more than just words; it’s the key to our culture. It shapes how we think and express ourselves. When a parent is away, it can be easy for kids to lose touch with their Filipino language skills. Here are some things you can do:

• Encourage frequent communication in Filipino: Schedule regular video calls with the OFW parent focused on speaking the language. Even short conversations can make a difference.
• Use Filipino at home: Designate certain times or activities where you only speak Filipino. This could be during mealtimes, while playing games, or reading stories.
• Watch Filipino shows and movies: There are plenty of Filipino shows and movies available online. These can be a fun and engaging way for kids to learn and practice their language skills. Look for shows specifically designed for children.
• Read Filipino books: Reading aloud in Filipino, even if you’re not a native speaker yourself, can introduce your children to the rhythm and sounds of the language. Start with simple picture books and gradually move on to more complex stories.
• Engage with Filipino music: Filipino folk songs and children’s songs are a great way to introduce the language in a fun and memorable way.

Consider the Reyes family. Tatay, the father, works in Dubai. He reads Filipino stories to his children via video call every Sunday. They don’t just read the words; they talk about the story and the characters, using Filipino the whole time. He even teaches them Tagalog tongue twisters to make it fun! This creates a positive association with the language and encourages them to learn more.

Celebrating Fiestas and Holidays: Transcending the Distance

Filipino fiestas and holidays are all about family, food, and faith. Just because a family member is abroad doesn’t mean you have to skip the celebrations. You can make it work! Here are some ideas:

• Virtual celebrations: Set up a video call during the fiesta or holiday. Share a meal together virtually, even if you’re eating different things. Show the OFW the decorations and activities.
• Send photos and videos: Document the celebrations with photos and videos and share them with the OFW. This helps them feel like they’re part of the action.
• Cook Filipino food: Prepare traditional Filipino dishes for the celebration. Involve the children in the cooking process—it’s a great way to teach them about their culture and create lasting memories. Perhaps even get a classic Filipino cookbook and try a new recipe.
• Remember the religious aspect: If the holiday has a religious significance, attend church services or participate in religious activities as a family. You can even livestream the service for the OFW to watch from afar.
• Create new traditions: If the OFW can’t be there physically, create new traditions that incorporate them. For example, you could write them a special letter or make a scrapbook of the celebration to send to them.

The dela Cruz family, with their mother working in Singapore, makes sure to celebrate Christmas with all the traditional Filipino trimmings. Even though she’s away, they video call her during Noche Buena. They make sure to decorate the house with a parol and display a belen. They sing Christmas carols together over the phone and open presents “together” on camera. It’s not the same as having her there in person, but it helps everyone feel more connected and festive. This also allows the lola or other relatives to step in to help maintain the traditional roles the OFW parent plays.

Passing Down the Values: Respect, Family Ties, and Bayanihan

Filipino culture is rich in values like paggalang (respect), pakikipagkapwa-tao (sense of community), and bayanihan (helping each other). These values are what make Filipino culture so special. Here’s how you can instill these values in children even when a parent is away:

• Teach by example: Children learn by watching the adults around them. Show respect to elders, be kind to others, and offer help to those in need.
• Tell stories: Share stories about Filipino heroes, folklore, and historical events that highlight these values. Also, share family stories that demonstrate how these values have been important throughout your family’s history.
• Involve children in community activities: Participate in community events, volunteer work, or even just helping a neighbor. This teaches children the importance of giving back and working together.
• Talk about the meaning of these values: Have open conversations with children about what these values mean and why they’re important. Explain how these values are relevant to their lives.
• Use Filipino proverbs: Filipino proverbs (salawikain) are a great way to teach children about these values in a memorable way.

Consider Aling Maria and her grandchildren. Her son works in Saudi Arabia. She makes sure to teach her grandchildren about pagmamano (a sign of respect for elders) every day. She explains to them why it’s important to show respect to their elders and to value family ties. She also encourages them to participate in community clean-up drives (bayanihan) to instill a sense of civic responsibility.

Food as a Love Language: Cooking and Sharing Filipino Dishes

Food is a huge part of Filipino culture! Sharing meals is a way to show love and connection. Even if the OFW parent can’t physically be there to cook, you can still involve them in the process:

• Cook their favorite dishes: Prepare the OFW’s favorite Filipino dishes and share photos or videos of the meal with them.
• Send them Filipino food: If possible, send them packages of Filipino snacks and ingredients that they miss.
• Learn to cook Filipino food together as a family: Watch Filipino cooking shows or follow Filipino food blogs together. Try new recipes and create your own family favorites.
• Share Filipino food with friends and neighbors: Introduce your friends and neighbors to Filipino cuisine. This is a great way to share your culture and build connections.
• Talk about the stories behind the food: Share the history and significance of different Filipino dishes. For example, explain why adobo is considered the national dish of the Philippines.

The Santos family, whose father works on a cruise ship, cook his favorite sinigang every month. They send him pictures and videos of the simmering soup and the happy faces around the table. This small gesture helps him feel connected to his family and his culture, even when he’s thousands of miles away. They even try to recreate Filipino recipes they know he gets homesick for aboard the ship; they send him the recipe after and discuss changes that could be made! It makes him feel like he’s still part of their daily lives.

Music and Dance: Moving to the Rhythm of Home

Music and dance are a vibrant part of Filipino culture. They are a way to express joy, sorrow, and everything in between. Here are some ways to incorporate Filipino music and dance into your family’s life:

• Listen to Filipino music: Play Filipino music at home, in the car, or during family gatherings. Expose children to different genres of Filipino music, from traditional folk songs to modern pop music.
• Learn Filipino dances: Take a Filipino dance class or learn traditional dances online. Practice the dances at home and perform them for family and friends.
• Attend Filipino cultural events: Look for Filipino cultural events in your community, such as concerts, festivals, or dance performances.
• Sing Filipino songs: Sing Filipino songs together as a family. Even if you don’t know all the words, just have fun and enjoy the music.
• Share Filipino music and dance with others: Introduce your friends and neighbors to Filipino music and dance. This is a great way to share your culture and build connections.

Lola Ising teaches her grandchildren traditional Filipino folk dances like tinikling and carinosa. She shares stories about the dances and their origins. She emphasizes that dancing is not difficult and fun to do! This helps them connect with their heritage and appreciate the beauty of Filipino culture. They then perform these dances for their Lolo via video call, making him feel joyful and proud.

Religion and Spirituality: Finding Strength in Faith

For many Filipinos, religion and spirituality play a vital role in their lives. Maintaining these practices can provide comfort and strength, especially during times of separation. Here are some ways to keep faith alive within OFW families:

• Attend church services together (even virtually): Attend church services or religious gatherings as a family. If the OFW parent can’t be there in person, they can watch the service online.
• Pray together: Pray together as a family, both in person and over the phone. Share your hopes, fears, and gratitude with each other.
• Read religious texts: Read the Bible or other religious texts together. Discuss the meaning of the scriptures and how they apply to your lives.
• Celebrate religious holidays: Observe religious holidays with traditional customs and rituals. This strengthens your faith and creates lasting memories.
• Participate in novenas: Filipino Catholics frequently participate in novenas. Find local or online novenas to practice.

The Bautista family, with their mother working as a domestic helper in Hong Kong, makes sure to say the rosary together every night. They believe that prayer is a powerful way to stay connected to each other and to God. The children especially like lighting a candle for their mother during their prayers.

Creating a Support System: Connecting with Other OFW Families

Being part of an OFW family can be challenging, but you’re not alone! Connecting with other OFW families can provide support, understanding, and a sense of community.

• Join OFW support groups: There are many OFW support groups online and in person. These groups provide a safe space to share your experiences, ask for advice, and connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
• Attend OFW family events: Look for events organized by OFW organizations or religious groups. These events provide opportunities to socialize, network, and celebrate Filipino culture.
• Connect with other OFW families in your community: Reach out to other OFW families in your neighborhood or school. Share your stories, offer support, and build friendships.
• Use social media: Join online communities and forums for OFW families. This is a great way to connect with people from all over the world.
• Build relationship with the OFW associations overseas: Encourage the OFW parent to remain active in OFW associations abroad. They could provide important support and shared cultural connection that trickles down to the family in the Philippines.

By supporting and understanding your family and culture, you can help the family succeed. The Santiago family, whose father works in Japan, regularly attends meetings of a local OFW support group. They’ve found comfort and strength in sharing their experiences with other families who understand the challenges of having a loved one working abroad. They now feel like they have a larger support system to rely on.

Modern Technology: A Bridge Across Continents

Technology plays a crucial role in bridging the gap between OFWs and their families. Using technology effectively can help maintain strong connections and share cultural experiences.

• Video calls: Schedule regular video calls to stay in touch. Make these calls interactive by sharing stories, playing games, or even cooking together virtually.
• Social media: Use social media platforms to share photos, videos, and updates on your family’s activities. This helps the OFW parent feel like they’re still part of your daily lives.
• Messaging apps: Use messaging apps to send quick messages, photos, and videos throughout the day. This helps maintain constant communication and a sense of connection.
• Online games: Play online games together as a family. This is a fun and engaging way to bond and spend quality time together. There are several Filipino-themed mobile games that can also help introduce the culture.
• Sharing cultural content: Share Filipino music, movies, TV shows, and news articles with the OFW parent. This helps them stay connected to their culture and keeps them informed about what’s happening back home.

Consider how the Mendoza family uses a shared online photo album to capture memories of their trips to Baguio, their dad’s hometown. He can see his children growing up and learning about their heritage, even though he is working in Italy. These seemingly small moments keep their bond strong and makes him feel closely connected.

Addressing the Challenges: Open Communication and Understanding

Maintaining traditions and a strong family bond with an OFW family member isn’t always easy. There will be challenges. Open communication and understanding are key to overcoming these challenges.

• Acknowledge the challenges: Recognize that being separated from a loved one is difficult for everyone involved. Acknowledge the feelings of sadness, loneliness, and frustration.
• Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspective of the OFW parent and the family members back home. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine what they’re going through.
• Communicate openly and honestly: Talk about your feelings, concerns, and needs in a respectful and constructive way. Avoid blaming or criticizing each other.
• Be patient and understanding: It takes time and effort to adjust to the challenges of having a family member working abroad. Be patient with each other and offer support.
• Seek professional help if needed: If you’re struggling to cope with the challenges, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support.

It’s important to recognize that OFWs shoulder a unique burden, often experiencing loneliness and homesickness, as noted in this BusinessWorld article. Therefore, family members left behind need to be sensitive to their emotional state and provide extra support. The Gonzales family has explicitly planned out “emotional check-in” weekly video calls that are separate from other regular updates.

FAQ Section:

Q: How can I encourage my children to speak Filipino if I’m not fluent myself?

If you’re not fluent in Filipino, start by learning basic phrases and words together with your children. Use online resources, language learning apps, or take a Filipino language class. Focus on creating a fun and supportive environment where your children feel comfortable practicing their language skills, even if they make mistakes. The most important thing is to show enthusiasm and encourage them to keep learning. You can even write the names of common household objects into Filipino and encourage using those words regularly.

Q: My child is starting to feel ashamed of their Filipino heritage. What can I do?

It’s important to address these feelings by creating a positive and proud association with their Filipino heritage. Expose them to positive portrayals of Filipinos in media, share stories about Filipino achievements, and celebrate Filipino culture with pride. Talk to them about the beauty and richness of Filipino culture and traditions. Reinforce the value of being bilingual and bicultural. Connect them with other Filipino children and families who can share similar experiences. Correct any negative stereotypes they may have heard with accurate information. Always remind them that they should be proud of their unique identity.

Q: My spouse is an OFW and we’re constantly arguing. How can we improve our communication?

Communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship when one partner is an OFW. Schedule regular times to talk, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Be honest and open about your feelings and concerns. Practice active listening and try to understand each other’s perspectives. Avoid blaming or criticizing each other. Focus on finding solutions to problems together. If you’re struggling to communicate effectively, consider seeking counseling from a therapist who specializes in couples counseling with OFW families.

Q: How can I ensure that my children still feel close to their OFW parent?

Making sure they feel that closeness can involve regular video calls, frequent messaging, and sharing photos and videos. Encourage the OFW parent to be involved in their children’s lives by helping with homework, reading bedtime stories, or attending virtual school events. Create special traditions that involve the OFW parent, such as celebrating birthdays or holidays together virtually. Remind your children that their OFW parent loves them and is working hard to provide for the family. When the OFW returns home for visits, make the visit very special and focused on building special memories with their child (as opposed to the OFW getting caught up with many other concerns that may distract from the child).

References:

• BusinessWorld. (June 28, 2023). Mental Health of OFWs.

Don’t let distance dim the vibrant flame of your Filipino heritage! By actively engaging in the traditions, language, values, food, and music of our culture, you’re not just keeping the past alive, you’re building a stronger, more connected future for your family. Start small. Pick one tradition to focus on this week. Recreate a favorite Filipino dish. Share a folk tale with your children. The power to preserve your culture rests in your hands. Let’s celebrate our heritage together, no matter where we are in the world. Start today! Share this article with other Filipinos, or even non-Filipinos interested in our culture to inspire and encourage them!