Communication is the lifeline of any family, but even more so when a family member is working far away as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW). Good communication helps everyone feel connected, understood, and loved, despite the distance. This article will give you practical strategies to make communication work for your OFW family.
Why is Communication So Important for OFW Families?
Imagine your favorite plant suddenly being placed in a different climate, with less sunlight and changes in watering. It needs extra care, right? Similarly, families with an OFW experience a big change. One person isn’t around for daily hugs, shared meals, or even just helping with homework. This absence can create feelings of loneliness, misunderstanding, and even resentment if not handled well.
Good communication bridges that gap. It reminds everyone that, even though physically apart, they’re still a team. It allows the OFW to stay involved in important family decisions and feel like they’re still contributing to their family’s life. It also helps the family back home understand the challenges the OFW faces, building empathy and support.
Think of it like this: Communication is the digital string that keeps your family kite flying high, even when the wind (distance) is strong. Without that strong string, the kite (family) might drift away and become lost.
Setting Up a Communication Plan
Don’t just rely on chance encounters to talk. Create a plan! This doesn’t need to be complicated; it just needs to be intentional. A communication plan can make a big difference because it turns random chats into reliable connections.
Schedule Regular Video Calls: This is probably the easiest and most impactful thing you can do. Set aside specific times each week for video calls. Let everyone know that these times are important and should be prioritized. Services like Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, Viber, and Messenger are all great for free video calls. Don’t just limit it to quick “hello’s”—actively engage in conversations.
To make video calls more special, you can have themed nights. For example, Mondays could be “Share Your Week” where everyone talks about their plans and goals for the upcoming week. Fridays could be “Family Fun Night” where you play a virtual game together or watch a movie synced up on your computers. Use those video calls! Even looking at each other while sharing a meal brings a sense of connection and togetherness.
Establish Communication Ground Rules: Just like in any relationship, clear expectations prevent misunderstandings. Discuss with everyone how often you should communicate and what topics are off-limits (if any). This is especially important when dealing with sensitive issues like finances or family conflicts. Consider setting rules like “no serious discussions late at night when everyone is tired” or “always listen respectfully, even if you disagree.”
Explore Different Communication Methods: Don’t limit yourself to just video calls. Text messaging is great for quick updates and check-ins. Email is useful for longer messages or sharing important documents. Old-fashioned letters can be surprisingly touching and personal. Consider using a family calendar app where everyone can see each other’s schedules and coordinate activities.
Making Communication Meaningful
Communicating isn’t just about talking; it’s about connecting. Here are some tips to make your conversations more meaningful and impactful for your OFW family:
Active Listening: When someone is talking, really listen! Put away your phone, make eye contact (if you’re on video), and focus on what they’re saying. Ask clarifying questions like, “So, what I hear you saying is…” or “Tell me more about that.” Active listening shows that you value their thoughts and feelings. It’s not just about hearing the words; it’s about understanding the person behind them.
Share Your Daily Life: Don’t just talk about big events. Share the small things that make up your daily life. Tell the OFW about your funny encounter at the grocery store or how your child aced their spelling test. These seemingly insignificant details help the OFW feel connected to your world and vice versa. Think of them as puzzle pieces that fit together to create a complete picture of your life.
Be Honest and Open: Don’t hide your struggles or pretend that everything is perfect. It’s okay to be vulnerable and share your worries and frustrations. This allows the OFW to support you emotionally and offer advice or assistance. Remember, hiding problems can create more stress in the long run. Sharing them builds trust and strengthens your relationship.
Address Conflicts Constructively: Disagreements are inevitable, even in the best of families. The key is to address them constructively and respectfully. Avoid blaming or criticizing. Instead, focus on expressing your feelings and needs. Use “I” statements like, “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…” Remember that the goal is to find a solution that works for everyone.
Express Appreciation and Love: Never underestimate the power of saying “I love you” or “Thank you.” Let the OFW know how much you appreciate their hard work and sacrifices. Remind them that you’re proud of them and that they’re making a real difference in your lives, and the other way around. Simple gestures of appreciation can go a long way in strengthening your bond and keeping motivation alive during distance.
Tips for OFWs to Stay Connected
Being an OFW can be isolating, but there are things you can do to stay connected with your family back home:
Be Proactive: Don’t wait for your family to reach out to you. Take the initiative to call, text, or email them regularly. Even a quick “Thinking of you” message can brighten their day. Remember, even small efforts amount to bigger impact.
Share Your Experiences Abroad: Tell your family about your work, your colleagues, and your new experiences. This helps them understand your life and the challenges you face. It also allows them to share in your joys and successes.
Send Thoughtful Gifts: Sending gifts is a tangible way to show your love and appreciation. It doesn’t have to be expensive; even a small, thoughtful gift can make a big impact. Consider sending a personalized card, a local delicacy, or a souvenir from your country of work.
Plan for Your Return: Talk about your plans for when you return home. This gives your family something to look forward to and helps you stay focused on your goals. Discuss your future aspirations, your retirement plans, and how you envision spending time together as a family.
Utilize Social Media (Responsibly!): Social media can be a great way to stay connected with your family and friends. Share photos, updates, and messages on Facebook, Instagram, or other platforms. However, be mindful of privacy and avoid sharing overly personal information. Focus on sharing positive experiences and connecting with loved ones in a meaningful way. It’s easy to get caught up in endless scrolling, so establish time limits for social media usage.
Addressing Specific Challenges
OFW families face unique challenges that require specific strategies and understanding. Consider these tips:
Managing Finances: One of the biggest challenges is managing finances effectively. Create a budget together, track expenses, and set financial goals. Discuss who is responsible for paying bills and making financial decisions. Consider using online budgeting tools or consulting a financial advisor for help. Transparency and open communication around finances are crucial to avoid conflict and ensure everyone is on the same page. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) offers resources on financial literacy that can be helpful. You can find more information on their website.
Child-Rearing Responsibilities: When one parent is away, the other parent carries a heavier load of child-rearing responsibilities. This can be challenging, both emotionally and physically. It’s important to communicate openly about the challenges and find ways to share the load. Consider enlisting the help of family members, friends, or hired caregivers. Encourage the OFW to stay involved in their children’s lives by attending school events virtually, helping with homework online, or reading bedtime stories via video call. Maintain a consistent routine, and involve the OFW in important decisions regarding the children’s education and well-being.
Combating Loneliness and Isolation: Both the OFW and the family back home can experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways to cope. Encourage the OFW to connect with other OFWs in their community and participate in social activities. For the family back home, encourage them to maintain social connections, pursue hobbies, and engage in activities that bring them joy. Remind each other that it’s okay to feel lonely and that you’re both in this together. Regular communication is key to combating loneliness, as is remembering the shared goals driving this sacrifice.
Dealing with Cultural Differences: For OFWs working in different cultures, adjusting to new customs and traditions can be challenging. Encourage the OFW to learn about the local culture and to be respectful of cultural differences. Similarly, encourage the family back home to be understanding and supportive of the OFW’s experiences. Discuss any cultural misunderstandings or challenges openly and honestly. Researching the culture of the OFW’s host country together can be an engaging and educational family activity.
Tools and Technology that Help
Technology can be a game-changer for OFW families. Here are some tools and apps that can make communication easier and more effective:
Video Conferencing Apps: As mentioned earlier, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, Viber, and Messenger are all great for free video calls. Explore different features like screen sharing, virtual backgrounds, and group calls to make your conversations more engaging.
Messaging Apps: WhatsApp, Telegram, and Signal are popular for text messaging, voice notes, and file sharing. These apps are often more affordable than sending SMS messages internationally. Choose the app that works best for everyone in the family and that offers reliable connectivity.
Social Media Platforms: Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can be used to share updates, photos, and videos with family and friends. Social media can be a fun and easy way to stay connected, but be mindful of privacy settings and responsible usage.
Money Transfer Apps: Apps like Wise (formerly TransferWise), Remitly, and WorldRemit make it easier and more affordable to send money to your family back home. Compare fees and exchange rates to find the best option. These apps are faster and more convenient than traditional methods like bank transfers.
Shared Calendar Apps: Google Calendar and other shared calendar apps allow everyone in the family to see each other’s schedules and coordinate activities. This can be especially helpful for planning video calls, family events, and appointments.
Family Management Apps: Some apps are specifically designed to help families stay organized and connected. These apps often include features like shared calendars, to-do lists, and messaging tools.
Educational Apps and Online Learning Platforms: To support the children’s education, use fun online educational apps and platforms such as Starfall, Khan Academy, and ABC Mouse. These apps include lessons, games and activities to improve a child’s reading, math and other skills.
The Role of Technology, But Not Too Much
Technology has allowed for a seamless exchange between OFWs and their families. From video calls to instant messaging, the digital world has shrunk distances. But be mindful, it is important to be wary of becoming too reliant on technology. There is value in creating balance by switching to physical correspondence, such as letters and receiving photos to hang around the house.
What happens without proper communication?
Without proper communication, the family is at risk of becoming distant and detached. This is mostly observed when they prioritize their careers over family communication, only to regret it later. When OFWs and their respective families do not share each other’s feelings, they may eventually struggle with the absence because it may feel as though there is no more connection with each other.
Preparing for the Future
OFW families need strategies that will help them with not just short-term goals, but long-term goals as well. They need to consider education, retirement plans, insurance plans, and personal hobbies because they need to find joy even when their loved one is not with them physically.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about communication for OFW families:
How often should we communicate with our OFW family member?
There’s no magic number, but consistent communication is key! Aim for daily check-ins via text or messaging apps, and schedule regular video calls (at least once a week) to catch up more fully. The ideal frequency depends on everyone’s schedules and preferences, so openly discuss and agree on a communication plan that works for your family.
What if we can’t afford internet access for regular video calls?
Look for affordable internet plans or Wi-Fi hotspots in your area. Many mobile providers offer special data packages for international calls and messaging. Consider using messaging apps that consume less data or calling during off-peak hours when internet rates might be lower. Another good step is to look for free services at public locations such as local Community Halls, libraries or other public learning centers.
How can we involve young children in communication with the OFW?
Make it fun! Show them photos and videos of the OFW. Let them draw pictures or write letters to send. During video calls, ask the OFW to read them a bedtime story or sing a song. Involve them in planning activities that you can all do together when the OFW comes home and find innovative games or activities they can play. It is important to keep the OFW present in their life despite the distance.
What if we’re having trouble with a specific issue, like financial disagreements?
Address the issue directly, but calmly and respectfully. Schedule a dedicated time to talk about it without distractions. Clearly explain your feelings and needs, and listen actively to the other person’s perspective. If you’re struggling to resolve the conflict on your own, consider seeking help from a trusted family member or friend, or even a professional counselor. It takes communication to come to a compromise; keep at it until you do.
What if the OFW is feeling isolated or depressed?
Encourage them to connect with other OFWs in their community. Help them find support groups or online forums where they can share their experiences and find emotional support. Remind them that it’s okay to seek professional help if they’re struggling with their mental health. Let them know they’re not alone and that you’re there for them, no matter what.
How can we maintain communication if the OFW is in a country with different time zones?
Carefully plan your communication schedule such that it works for both parties. Respect each other’s time. Make use of shared calendar apps to make things easier and more organized. If either party suddenly cannot proceed as planned, make sure that communication is still open by letting the other party know what is going on.
References
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) – Financial Literacy Program
Don’t wait any longer to strengthen your family ties. Start implementing these communication strategies today and feel the difference. Open communication is within your reach! By consistently applying these tips, OFW families can thrive despite the distance, and can create a stronger and more loving family bond that lasts a lifetime.
