Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough, but it’s also an incredible opportunity to show your children what it means to work hard and be dedicated. This isn’t just about sending money home; it’s about showing them the value of perseverance, resilience, and making sacrifices for your family’s future. Let’s explore how to transform your OFW experience into a powerful example for your kids.
Understanding the Unique Challenges
First, let’s be honest: being an OFW is far from easy. You’re facing language barriers, cultural differences, and the constant homesickness that comes from being away from your loved ones. According to a study by the Philippine Statistics Authority, millions of Filipinos work overseas, each with their own story of struggle and determination. It’s essential to acknowledge these challenges, not hide them. When you’re open about the difficulties you face, you show your children that success isn’t always easy, and that it takes courage to overcome obstacles. Don’t sugarcoat things completely, but explain them in a way they can understand. For example, instead of saying “This job is awful,” you could say, “Working here is challenging because the language is different, but I’m learning new things every day.”
Communicating Your Values Across the Miles
Staying connected emotionally is crucial. While remittances are vital, consistent communication is just as important. With smartphones and the internet, keeping in touch is easier than ever. Schedule regular video calls, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. During these calls, don’t just ask about school and chores. Share your own experiences, talk about your day at work, and let them see your personality. Tell them stories about your successes, however small, and talk honestly about your setbacks. Let your children participate in your life, even from afar.
Beyond video calls, consider writing letters or sending postcards. There’s something special about receiving a handwritten message that speaks volumes about the effort you put into it. The Philippine Postal Corporation (Philpost) still plays a vital role in keeping families connected, and a simple postcard can brighten a child’s day. Also, if you have the opportunity, send small care packages with items that represent your host country. This can be a great way to teach your children about different cultures and broaden their horizons, demonstrating your adaptability and willingness to learn about the world.
Setting a Financial Example
As an OFW, you likely play a crucial role in your family’s financial stability. Use this opportunity to teach your children about responsible money management. Don’t just send money home; explain where it’s going and why. Talk about budgeting, saving, and investing. Show them how you’re planning for their future, whether it’s for their education, a family business, or retirement. Many OFWs successfully manage their finances, investing in real estate, stocks, or small businesses back home. You can also involve your children in the decision-making process, appropriate to their age. For example, if you’re planning to buy a new appliance for the house, you could discuss different options and their costs with them.
It’s also important to emphasize the value of hard work and earning money, rather than just focusing on spending it. Encourage your children to find age-appropriate ways to earn their own money, such as helping with household chores, doing small tasks for neighbors, or starting a small business. This will teach them the importance of financial independence and responsibility.
Cultivating a Strong Work Ethic
Your actions speak louder than words. By working hard overseas, you’re already demonstrating a strong work ethic. But it’s important to explicitly connect your efforts to the values you want to instill in your children. Talk about the importance of punctuality, dedication, and going the extra mile. Share stories about your colleagues or mentors who have succeeded through hard work. Explain that success isn’t just about talent or luck, but also about effort and perseverance.
Encourage your children to develop their own skills and talents. Support their hobbies and interests, and encourage them to pursue their passions. Help them set goals for themselves and work towards achieving them. Praise their efforts and progress, even if they haven’t reached their ultimate goal. Emphasize the importance of learning from mistakes and never giving up, highlighting that the journey itself can be just as valuable as the destination.
Instilling Resilience and Adaptability
Living and working in a foreign country requires immense resilience and adaptability. Share your experiences of overcoming challenges and adapting to new situations with your children. Explain how you learned to navigate new cultures, communicate with people from different backgrounds, and solve problems creatively. Show them that challenges are opportunities for growth and learning.
Encourage your children to embrace new experiences and step outside of their comfort zones. Enrolling them in extracurricular activities, encouraging them to learn a new language, or simply encouraging them to try new foods can help them develop their adaptability and resilience. Emphasize the importance of being open-minded, respectful, and tolerant of others. By fostering these qualities, you’re preparing your children to thrive in an increasingly globalized world, modeling the very skills that have allowed you to succeed as an OFW.
Maintaining Your Own Well-being
It’s easy to get caught up in working hard and sending money home, but it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or unhappy, it will affect your relationships with your children. Make time for yourself to relax, exercise, and pursue your own interests. Stay connected with friends and family, and seek support when you need it.
Taking care of your mental and physical health is not selfish; it’s essential for being a good parent and role model. When you prioritize your well-being, you demonstrate to your children the importance of self-care and balance. You show them that it’s okay to ask for help and that it’s important to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. This is a vital lesson that will serve them well throughout their lives.
Inspiring Through Education and Learning
Education is often a primary reason why OFWs work abroad. Use your experiences to highlight the importance of education and lifelong learning. Share stories about how education has opened doors for you and others. Encourage your children to take their studies seriously and to pursue their academic goals. Remind them that learning is a continuous process and that they should always be curious and eager to learn new things.
Actively participate in their education by helping them with their homework, attending parent-teacher conferences, and encouraging them to read and explore new subjects. Show them that you value education and that you believe in their potential. If possible, consider pursuing further education or taking courses yourself. This will demonstrate your commitment to lifelong learning and inspire your children to follow in your footsteps. Many universities offer online programs that can be accessed from anywhere in the world, making it easier for OFWs to continue their education (check out Open Universities).
Staying Rooted in Filipino Culture
While embracing new cultures is important, it’s equally important to stay connected to your Filipino heritage. Share stories about your childhood, your family traditions, and your Filipino values with your children. Celebrate Filipino holidays and festivals, even if you’re far away from home. Cook Filipino food and teach them about the cuisine. Language is also key – make sure they speak and understand Filipino. Help them appreciate the richness and beauty of their culture and instill in them a sense of pride in their heritage.
Encourage them to connect with other Filipinos in your community or online. This will help them feel a sense of belonging and maintain their cultural identity. By staying rooted in Filipino culture, you’re giving your children a strong foundation and a sense of who they are, even while they’re exposed to new cultures and experiences.
Turning Challenges into Opportunities
Being an OFW presents numerous challenges, but it also provides unique opportunities for growth and development. Embrace these opportunities and use them to inspire your children. Show them how you’re learning new skills, meeting new people, and expanding your horizons. Share your accomplishments and celebrate your successes, both big and small. Let them see that you’re not just surviving; you’re thriving.
Encourage your children to view challenges as opportunities as well. Help them develop a positive mindset and a can-do attitude. Teach them to see setbacks as learning experiences and to never give up on their dreams. By modeling resilience, adaptability, and a positive outlook, you’re giving your children the tools they need to overcome any obstacle and achieve their full potential.
Leveraging Technology to Bridge the Distance
We’ve already touched on video calls, but there are countless other ways to use technology to stay connected and involved in your children’s lives. Many schools now have online portals where you can track their grades, attendance, and assignments. Use these tools to stay informed about their academic progress and offer support when needed. You can also use educational apps and websites to supplement their learning, collaborate on projects remotely, or even take virtual field trips together.
Social media can also be a powerful tool for staying connected, but it’s important to use it responsibly. Share photos and videos of your life abroad, but also be mindful of your privacy and security. Use social media to stay in touch with your children’s friends and teachers, and to participate in their online communities. Just be cautious of the risks of the internet. By using technology effectively, you can bridge the distance and stay actively involved in your children’s lives, even when you’re miles away.
Regular Visits and Homecoming Plans
While consistent communication is vital, nothing beats face-to-face interaction. Plan regular visits home whenever possible. These visits don’t have to be long, but they should be meaningful. Spend quality time with your children, engage in activities they enjoy, and create lasting memories. If possible, involve them in the planning process, so they feel like they’re part of the experience.
Also, start planning for your eventual return home. This can be a powerful motivator for both you and your children. Talk about your plans, involve them in the decision-making process, and give them something to look forward to. Knowing that you’re working towards a common goal will strengthen your bond and provide them with a sense of security and stability.
The Power of Your Story
Ultimately, the most powerful way to inspire your children is to share your story. Your story as an OFW is unique and valuable. It’s a story of sacrifice, hard work, resilience, and love. Don’t be afraid to share it with your children, in all its complexity and beauty. Let them see the struggles you’ve overcome, the lessons you’ve learned, and the dreams you’re working towards. Your story can be a source of inspiration, motivation, and hope for them.
Remind them that they are part of your story and that their future is intertwined with yours. Let them know that you’re doing everything you can to provide them with a better life and that you believe in their potential. By sharing your story, you’re giving them a gift that will last a lifetime.
FAQ Section
How can I manage the guilt of being away from my children? Understand that your sacrifice is for their better future. Openly communicate with your children about your feelings and listen to theirs. Schedule regular video calls, send letters, and plan visits home. Focus on the quality of your interactions, not just the quantity. Seek support from other OFWs or a therapist to process your emotions and develop coping strategies.
My children are resentful that I’m working abroad. How can I address this? Acknowledge their feelings and validate their concerns. Explain why you’re working abroad and emphasize that you’re doing it for them. Spend quality time with them during visits home. Involve them in financial decisions and planning for the future. Show them that you care about their well-being and that you’re always there for them, even from afar.
What if my children are struggling in school while I’m away? Stay informed about their academic progress through school portals and communication with teachers. Provide them with online resources, tutoring, or extra help. Encourage them to form study groups with their classmates. Create a supportive learning environment at home. Remind them of the importance of education and your belief in their abilities.
How can I ensure my children don’t feel abandoned? Frequent video calls and regular written communication can help establish emotional connection between family members during times of separation caused by oversea jobs. Be present during family events and holidays by calling them or joining virtual celebrations. Send them unique and personal gifts. Talk about past good times of doing enjoyable activities together to help them to not think about separation.
How can I help my children understand the culture of the country I’m working in? Share stories, photos, and videos about your experiences in your host country. Cook or bake traditional dishes from your host country: let them learn about a different culture though these delicacies. Teach them basic phrases in the local language. Encourage them to learn about the history and customs of your host country. This will enrich their understanding and broaden their horizons.
How to deal with kids who aren’t behaving well at home? Stay calm to avoid an escalation of the situation by responding empathetically and demonstrating your understanding. Show understanding and focus on finding solutions together through an open communication that entails active listening. If matters are not improving, and even worsening or becoming out of your control, seek professional help to manage their behaviors and support them.
What are the simple things that can make the emotional gap between me and my child lesser? Make the most of the communication chances or meetings to hear how they feel about matters by asking open-ended questions and giving them an opportunity to speak with honesty. Schedule video games or watch together a movie online to spend fun and positive moments together. Send and exchange short and creative messages to send positive messages and improve your family bonding.
I’m anxious about the thought of coming back home for good. Can it make our relationship worse? Having the anxiety of coming back to your country out of uncertainties and fear is usual! Consider discussing your fears openly with a partner, a family counselor, or close friends. You can attend sessions on financial or retirement planning to deal with a budget. By sharing your feelings with loved ones, you demonstrate that you value family members who might be having a difficult time dealing with their own needs.
References
Philippine Statistics Authority. (various years). Statistics on Overseas Filipino Workers.
Open Universities
Your journey as an OFW is filled with sacrifices, but it’s also brimming with opportunities to inspire your children. By sharing your experiences, instilling values, and staying connected, you can be a powerful role model, even from afar. Don’t underestimate the impact you have on their lives. You’re not just sending money home; you’re shaping their future. So, embrace your role as an OFW and use your unique journey to inspire your children to work hard, be dedicated, and chase their dreams. After all, you, the OFW, are their hero.
