As an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) parent, your time away from your family is a huge sacrifice. You’re not just working abroad; you’re building a future. But what kind of future? It’s crucial to think about the legacy you want to leave behind – a legacy that goes beyond just sending money home. It’s about shaping your children’s lives, instilling values, and making a lasting positive impact, even from afar.
Understanding the Legacy You’re Building
Let’s face it, being an OFW parent is tough. You miss birthdays, graduations, and everyday moments. But you’re working hard for a reason, right? It’s more than just paying the bills; it’s about giving your kids a better chance in life. A big part of that is understanding what kind of legacy you want to leave. Are you just aiming for financial security? Or do you want to pass on values, skills, and a strong sense of self to your children? Thinking about this helps you make better decisions about how you spend your time, resources, and even your limited time communicating with your family. It’s like drawing a map for your journey as an OFW parent.
Financial Security is a Foundation, Not the Whole House
Of course, financial stability is super important. Sending money home for education, food, and healthcare is a huge responsibility, and you should be proud of that. Did you know that remittances from OFWs contribute significantly to the Philippine economy? According to the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, personal remittances from OFWs reached record high levels in recent years which shows the vital role OFWs play. But money alone isn’t enough. Think about it: what if your child has all the gadgets and expensive clothes, but lacks good values, a strong work ethic, or the ability to make smart decisions? These are the things that will truly help them succeed in the long run.
Defining Your Core Values as a Family
What are the values that are most important to you? Honesty? Hard work? Respect? Faith? Education? Once you know what these are, you can start consciously teaching them to your children, even when you’re far away. For example, if you value honesty, talk to your children about the importance of telling the truth, even when it’s difficult. Share stories about times when you were honest, and the positive outcomes that resulted. Conversely, discuss the consequences of dishonesty.
Another example: If you value education talk to them about the importance of studying hard and getting good grades. Encourage them to read books and learn new things. Share stories of how education has helped you in your life.
It’s about weaving these values into your everyday conversations and actions.
Practical Ways to Instill Values From Afar
How do you actually pass on these values when you’re miles away? Technology is your friend.
Regular Video Calls: Don’t just ask “How was your day?” Go deeper. Ask them about challenges they faced, how they overcame them, and what they learned. Share your own experiences too. If you encounter a problem at work, or deal with a situation involving morals, then share with them. Be open and honest.
Storytelling: Share stories from your childhood, especially those that illustrate the values you want to instill. Tell your child about your grandfather who always helped other people in your community, and how he was well-respected for it.
Book Club with a Twist: Read the same book (even if it’s a children’s book) and discuss it during your video calls. Choose books that explore important themes and values.
Lead by Example: Even though you’re not physically present, your actions speak volumes. Are you sending money home responsibly? Are you working hard and staying honest in your own job? Children notice these things. Remember that their role-model isn’t just their parents but their relatives, their community members, and the internet.
Make the most of Visits: If possible, make the time for you to visit every once in a while. While this might be expensive, it is also important to spend time with your children and bond with them. Do activities with them. Go on vacation with them to create fun memories.
Empowering Your Spouse (or Guardian): Being a Team
You can’t do this alone. Your spouse (or whoever is taking care of your children) is your partner in this. Make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to values, expectations, and discipline. Discuss strategies for reinforcing the values you want to instill.
Communicate regularly and openly. If your spouse is struggling with a particular issue, offer support and guidance. Remember, they are also sacrificing a lot. Consider taking an online course together on parenting or family communication. Discuss what you learned and how you can apply it to your family.
Education: Investing in Their Future and Yours
Providing a good education for your children is arguably the most important thing you can do. It opens doors, creates opportunities, and empowers them to achieve their dreams. But it doesn’t stop at just paying for tuition fees. Be actively involved in their education.
Be Present Even When Absent: Attend parent-teacher conferences via video call if possible. Check their grades online. Help them with their homework (even if it’s just proofreading). Show them that you value their education.
Beyond the Classroom: Encourage them to pursue their interests and passions. Enrol them in music lessons, sports, or art classes. These activities can help them develop important skills and build their confidence.
Financial Literacy: Teach them about money management. Explain how you earn your money, how you save, and how you spend. Involve them in age-appropriate financial decisions. This will help them become responsible adults. The Philippine government offers free resources and programs on financial literacy through organizations like the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC).
Building Strong Relationships: The Heart of Your Legacy
Your relationship with your children is the most valuable thing you have. Make sure you’re nurturing it, even from afar.
Quality Time Over Quantity: It’s better to have one meaningful conversation a week than several superficial ones. When you talk to your children, be fully present. Listen actively, ask questions, and show genuine interest in their lives.
Celebrate Milestones: Don’t just send a greeting card on birthdays. Make a special effort to celebrate their achievements, big or small. Plan a surprise video call with relatives, or send a personalized gift.
Be Their Confidante: Create a safe space where your children feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. Let them know that you’re always there for them, no matter what.
Planning for the Future: More Than Just a Savings Account
Think about the long-term future. Are you planning to return home eventually? What kind of life do you want to build for your family when you do?
Investment Strategies: Don’t just keep your money in a savings account. Explore different investment options that can help you grow your wealth. Consult with a financial advisor to create a plan that’s right for you.
Business Opportunities: Consider starting a small business back home. This can provide you with a source of income and create jobs for others in your community.
Skills Development: Use your time abroad to learn new skills that will be valuable when you return home. Take online courses, attend workshops, or volunteer for organizations that align with your interests.
Taking Care of Yourself: You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
It’s easy to get caught up in working hard and sending money home, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Your physical and mental health is crucial, not just for you, but for your family as well.
Prioritize Your Health: Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. See a doctor for regular checkups.
Manage Stress: Find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as yoga, meditation, or spending time with friends.
Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Talk to a therapist, join a support group for OFWs, or confide in a trusted friend or family member. Many organizations and charities offer mental health support for OFWs.
The Role of Technology in Bridging the Distance
Technology is a powerful tool that can help you stay connected with your family and build strong relationships, even when you’re far away. If you live in a country where you have better access to tech devices, then it is necessary for you to learn and use them for communicating with your children.
High-Quality Video Calls: Invest in a good webcam and microphone to ensure clear communication during video calls.
Messaging Apps: Use messaging apps like WhatsApp, Messenger, or Viber to stay in touch with your family throughout the day. Share photos, videos, and messages to let them know you’re thinking of them.
Online Games: Play online games with your children. This can be a fun way to bond and spend quality time together.
Educational Apps: Use educational apps to help your children with their studies. There are many apps available that can help them learn new skills and improve their grades.
Social Media: Use social media to stay updated on your children’s lives. Follow their accounts, like their posts, and leave comments to show them you care.
Overcoming Challenges: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Being an OFW parent is full of challenges. There will be times when you feel overwhelmed, lonely, or guilty. Remember that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Talk to Other OFWs: Connect with other OFWs who are going through the same challenges as you. Share your experiences, offer support, and learn from each other. There are many online communities and support groups for OFWs.
Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the support and guidance you need.
Lean on Your Family and Friends: Don’t be afraid to ask your family and friends for help. They can provide you with emotional support, practical assistance, and a listening ear.
Celebrating Your Successes: You’re Making a Difference
It’s important to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, both big and small. You’re working hard to provide a better life for your family, and you should be proud of that.
Reflect on Your Achievements: Take time to reflect on your accomplishments, both personally and professionally. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made and the challenges you’ve overcome.
Reward Yourself: Treat yourself to something special every now and then. You deserve it.
Share Your Story: Share your story with others. Your experience can inspire and motivate others to pursue their dreams.
Creating a Family Mission Statement
Consider collaborating as a family to create a mission statement. This doesn’t need to be a formal document but rather a shared understanding of what your family stands for and what you’re working towards. This can be a powerful tool for staying aligned and focused on your goals, even when facing challenges. Discuss your values, your aspirations, and your vision for the future. Write down the key elements and create a simple statement that reflects your family’s purpose.
Mentorship and Role Modeling: More Than Just Parents
Think about the ways you can serve as a mentor, not just to your own children, but also to young people in your community. Share your experiences, offer guidance, and inspire them to pursue their dreams. By becoming a role model, you can leave a lasting positive impact on the lives of others.
Documenting Your Journey: A Legacy for Future Generations
Keep a journal, write letters to your children, or create videos documenting your experiences as an OFW parent. Share your thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned. These personal stories can be a valuable legacy for future generations, offering them insights into your life and the sacrifices you made for them.
FAQ Section:
What if my children resent me for being away?
It’s natural for children to feel resentful when a parent is away for long periods. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their emotions. Be honest about why you’re working abroad and emphasize that your sacrifices are for their well-being. Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with them whenever possible, and reassure them of your love and support.
How can I compete with the influence of social media on my children?
Social media can be a powerful influence on children, both positive and negative. Talk to your children about the responsible use of social media and the importance of critical thinking. Help them develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and encourage them to pursue their interests and passions outside of social media.
How do I ensure my children don’t become materialistic?
Teach your children the value of hard work, saving, and giving back to the community. Set a good example by being responsible with your own finances and demonstrating generosity towards others. Encourage them to appreciate experiences and relationships over material possessions.
What if I can’t afford to send my children to the best schools?
Focus on providing your children with a quality education, regardless of the school they attend. Support their learning at home, encourage them to read, and provide them with access to educational resources. Remember that a child’s success depends more on their own motivation and effort than on the prestige of their school.
How do I balance my responsibilities to my family with my own personal goals?
It’s important to prioritize your responsibilities to your family. However, it’s also crucial to take care of your own needs and pursue your personal goals. Find ways to integrate your goals into your family life, such as taking online courses in your spare time or involving your children in your hobbies.
References:
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas – Reports on Overseas Filipino Workers’ Remittances
Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) – Financial Literacy Programs
Instead of a conclusion, let’s think about something even more powerful: a call to action. You’ve read this far, which means you’re serious about your legacy. Don’t just let this information sit here. Right now, today, take one small step. Maybe it’s scheduling a longer, more meaningful video call with your children. Maybe it’s researching a financial literacy program. Maybe it’s simply writing down your top three family values and thinking about how you can teach them. Whatever it is, start creating that legacy today. You’ve got this. Your family deserves it, and so do you.
