Having a parent working overseas as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) can be tough on kids. It’s a big change, and it can affect how they feel. This article is all about helping you understand the emotional challenges that OFW children might face, how to spot the signs that they need help, and where you can find support to make things easier.
Understanding the Emotional Impact on OFW Children
Imagine you’re a kid, and one of your parents – maybe your mom or dad – has to go work far away in another country. Suddenly, there’s a big hole in your life. You miss them at dinner, at bedtime, and during special events like birthdays. This absence can lead to a lot of different feelings. One of the biggest is sadness. Kids might feel lonely, and they might cry more often. They might also feel abandoned, even though they know their parent is working hard to provide for them. It’s important to remember that these feelings are normal. It’s a normal reaction to a big change in their family dynamic.
Another thing that often happens is anxiety. Kids might worry about their parent’s safety overseas. They might hear stories on the news or from other people that scare them. They might also worry about the parent who is left behind. Will they be able to handle everything? Will they be okay? This anxiety can show up in different ways. Some kids might have trouble sleeping, while others might have stomach aches or headaches. You can always share with them resources like OWWA’s website as they offer programs and services to support OFWs and their families which may ease their worries.
Dealing with the absence of a parent often also brings resentment. Kids might feel angry that their parent left, even if they understand why. They might resent the changes in their family life, and they might even resent the parent who stayed behind. This anger can be tough to deal with, and it can lead to acting out or withdrawing.
Sometimes, kids might feel guilty. They might feel like they did something wrong to make their parent leave, or they might feel guilty for feeling sad or angry. It’s important to reassure them that it’s not their fault and that their feelings are valid. This guilt is just another layer of complexity in the emotional landscape of an OFW child.
Let’s talk about a real-life example. Imagine a young girl named Maya whose mother went to work in Singapore. Before her mom left, Maya was a happy and outgoing child. But after her mom left, Maya became withdrawn and quiet. She stopped playing with her friends, and she started getting bad grades in school. Maya was experiencing a lot of the emotional challenges we’ve been talking about. She was sad, anxious, and maybe even a little resentful. Situations such as Maya’s highlights the importance of recognizing the emotional impact of parental absence on children.
Spotting the Signs: Recognizing When a Child Needs Help
It’s not always easy to tell when a child is struggling emotionally. Sometimes, they’re good at hiding their feelings. But there are some signs that you can look out for. One of the first things you might notice is a change in their behavior. A child who is usually outgoing might become withdrawn, or a child who is usually well-behaved might start acting out. They might have difficulty concentrating in school, their grades might start to slip, or they might lose interest in activities they used to enjoy. According to a study by the UNICEF, children experiencing emotional distress often exhibit noticeable changes in their behavior patterns.
Another sign to watch for is physical symptoms. Stress and anxiety can manifest in physical ways. Children might complain of headaches, stomach aches, or other unexplained aches and pains. They might also have trouble sleeping or eating, and they might get sick more often.
Changes in their emotional state are also important to note. A child who is usually happy and cheerful might become irritable, sad, or anxious. They might cry more easily, or they might have frequent mood swings. It’s not unusual for children to react with anger, sadness, or fear to prolonged parental absence.
Pay attention to what they say. Sometimes, children will directly express their feelings. They might say they miss their parent, or they might say they’re worried about them. Even if they don’t directly express their feelings, they might make comments that give you a clue about how they’re feeling. For example, they might say something like, “It’s not fair that Mom is gone all the time.” or “Sometimes I feel like nobody cares what happens to me.”
Here’s another example: Imagine a young boy named Ben whose father works in Saudi Arabia. Ben used to love playing basketball with his friends, but lately, he’s been avoiding them. He stays in his room most of the time, and he doesn’t talk much. His grades have also started to decline. Ben is showing several signs of emotional distress. He’s withdrawn, he’s lost interest in his hobbies, and his school performance is suffering.
It’s important to remember that every child is different, and they might show signs of emotional distress in different ways. The key is to pay attention to your child and to be aware of any changes in their behavior, physical symptoms, or emotional state. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to talk to them and to offer them support.
Communicating with OFW Children: Creating a Safe Space
One of the most important things you can do is to create a safe space for children to express their feelings. This means creating an environment where they feel comfortable talking about their emotions without fear of judgment or criticism. Listen to them without interrupting, and let them know that their feelings are valid, even if you don’t understand them. Showing such empathy to children can help them navigate this tough situation. You can also encourage them to journal or draw their feelings if talking about them is difficult.
Regular communication with the OFW parent is also crucial. Schedule regular video calls so that the child can see and talk to their parent. This helps maintain the bond and reassures the child that their parent still cares about them. Encourage the parent to ask about the child’s day, their friends, and their activities. Small gestures like sending postcards or small gifts can also make a big difference.
Avoid making negative comments about the OFW parent. Even if you’re feeling frustrated or angry, it’s important to remember that children are very sensitive to negativity. Making negative comments can make them feel guilty or confused, and it can damage their relationship with their parent. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the situation and remind them that their parent is working hard to provide for them.
Another vital point is to validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lonely. Don’t dismiss their feelings or tell them to “get over it.” Instead, acknowledge their emotions and offer them support. For instance, if they say, “I miss Mom so much,” you can respond with, “I know you do, honey. I miss her too. It’s okay to feel sad when she’s not here.” Validating their feelings can help them feel understood and supported.
Consider the example of a teenager named Jose whose father is working in Italy. Jose is struggling with feelings of anger and resentment towards his father. Instead of dismissing his feelings, his aunt, who is caring for him, acknowledges his anger and encourages him to talk about it. She helps him understand that it’s okay to feel angry, but that it’s important to find healthy ways to express his anger, such as through exercise or journaling. This approach helps Jose process his emotions and build a healthier relationship with his father.
Building a Strong Support System
No family can navigate the challenges of having an OFW parent alone. It’s important to build a strong support system of family, friends, and community resources. This support system can provide emotional support, practical assistance, and a sense of belonging.
Involve other family members, such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles. They can provide extra care and attention to the child, and they can help fill the void created by the OFW parent’s absence. Grandparents, in particular, can play a valuable role in providing emotional support and maintaining family traditions.
Connect with other families who have OFW parents. Sharing experiences and advice with other families can be incredibly helpful. It can help you feel less alone, and it can provide you with practical tips and strategies for coping with the challenges of having an OFW parent. Look for support groups or online forums where you can connect with other families.
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help. If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional well-being, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can provide specialized support and guidance to help your child cope with the challenges of having an OFW parent. Organizations such as the Department of Health (DOH) in the Philippines can help you locate mental health resources.
Extend your reach out to schools and community organizations. Inform teachers and school counselors about your situation so that they can provide extra support to your child at school. Community organizations, such as churches and community centers, can also provide support and resources to OFW families.
Consider the example of a family who lives in a rural community. The mother is working as a nurse in Canada, and the father is struggling to care for their three children on his own. He reaches out to his extended family for help, and his parents move in to help with childcare and household chores. He also connects with a support group for OFW families at his local church. Through these connections, he finds emotional support, practical assistance, and a sense of community. With the help of his support system, he’s able to provide stability and support to his children.
Promoting Resilience in OFW Children
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Promoting resilience in OFW children can help them cope with the challenges of having a parent working overseas and thrive despite the difficulties. There are several things you can do to help children develop resilience. One is to foster a sense of competence. Give children opportunities to succeed and feel good about themselves. Praise them for their efforts and accomplishments, and help them develop new skills and talents.
Another crucial aspect of resilience is nurturing a strong sense of self-esteem. Encourage children to believe in themselves and their abilities. Help them identify their strengths and focus on their positive qualities. Remind them that they are loved and valued, even when their parent is far away. Building a child’s self-esteem is like giving them an emotional life vest.
Promote problem-solving skills. Teach children how to identify problems, brainstorm solutions, and take action to solve them. Help them develop coping strategies for dealing with stress and difficult emotions. Encourage them to seek help from others when they need it.
Encourage healthy coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are strategies that people use to deal with stress and difficult emotions. Some coping mechanisms are healthy, while others are not. Encourage children to engage in healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, and practicing relaxation techniques. Discourage unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or self-harm. Ensure they learn to play sports and exercise for not just physical, but also mental wellness. Spending time with friends can help them improve their social skills as well.
Consider the example of a young boy named Carlo whose mother has been working in Dubai for several years. Carlo misses his mother very much, but he has learned to cope with her absence by focusing on his schoolwork, playing basketball with his friends, and spending time with his grandparents. He also talks to his mother regularly on video calls. Through these activities and connections, Carlo has developed resilience and is thriving despite his mother’s absence.
Practical Support: Resources for OFW Families
Navigating the complexities of having an OFW parent requires access to practical resources and support. Fortunately, there are many organizations and programs that can help OFW families.
The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) provides a range of services to OFWs and their families, including financial assistance, educational scholarships, and counseling services. Visit the OWWA website to learn more about these resources.
Many local government units (LGUs) offer programs and services to support OFW families. These programs may include financial assistance, livelihood training, and social services. Contact your local government unit to find out what resources are available in your community.
Numerous non-governmental organizations (NGOs) provide support to OFW families. These organizations may offer counseling, educational assistance, and other forms of support. Research different NGOs in your area to find one that meets your specific needs.
Support groups for OFW families are a great resource for connecting with other families who are going through similar experiences. Sharing experiences and advice can be incredibly helpful. Look for support groups in your community or online.
If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. Mental health professionals can provide specialized support and guidance to help your child cope with the challenges of having an OFW parent.
The Role of Technology in Bridging the Distance
In today’s interconnected world, technology plays a vital role in bridging the distance between OFWs and their families. Video calls, messaging apps, and social media platforms allow families to stay connected and maintain close relationships, despite the physical separation.
Encourage regular video calls between the OFW parent and the child. Seeing each other’s faces and hearing each other’s voices can make a big difference in maintaining a strong connection. Schedule regular calls at times that are convenient for both the parent and the child, and ensure that the calls are private and uninterrupted.
Utilize messaging apps to stay in touch throughout the day. Messaging apps like WhatsApp, Viber, and Messenger allow families to exchange messages, photos, and videos quickly and easily. This can help them stay connected and share daily experiences. Encourage the OFW parent to send messages to the child throughout the day, even if it’s just a quick “I love you” or “Thinking of you.”
Social media platforms can also be used to stay connected. Parents and children can share photos, videos, and updates on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. This can help them feel like they are still a part of each other’s lives, even when they are far apart.
Be mindful of screen time limits. While technology can be incredibly helpful, it’s important to be mindful of screen time limits. Excessive screen time can have negative effects on children’s physical and mental health. Set reasonable screen time limits and encourage children to engage in other activities, such as playing outdoors, reading, or spending time with friends and family.
Ensure online safety. Teach children about online safety and privacy. Remind them not to share personal information with strangers online and to be careful about what they post on social media. Monitor their online activity and be aware of the potential risks of online communication.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about the emotional well-being of OFW children:
What are the most common emotional problems experienced by OFW children?
OFW children often experience sadness, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, and guilt. These emotions can stem from missing their parent, worrying about their safety, and dealing with changes in their family life. The emotional impact can vary, but these are the most generally observed. Some common emotional problems they may feel include difficulty concentrating, sleep issues, changes in eating habits, and behavioral issues at school and in their personal lives.
How can I tell if my child is struggling emotionally?
Look for changes in their behavior, physical symptoms, and emotional state. They might become withdrawn, irritable, or anxious. They might also have difficulty sleeping, eating, or concentrating. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to talk to them and offer them support. Noticeable behavior changes are usually the first obvious signs.
What can I do to help my child cope with having an OFW parent?
Create a safe space for them to express their feelings, encourage regular communication with the OFW parent, build a strong support system, and promote resilience. Consider seeking professional help if you’re concerned about their emotional well-being. You should actively listen, validate their feelings, and patiently address their concerns.
Where can I find resources for OFW families?
The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA), local government units, and non-governmental organizations (NGOs) offer a range of services to OFW families. Support groups for OFW families are also a great resource. These resources may include financial assistance, educational support, and counseling services.
How important is technology in maintaining communication betweem OFWs and Children?
Technology plays a crucial role in bridging the distance between OFWs and their families. It’s very important as video calls, regular interactions, and messaging apps allows parents and children to stay connected and maintain close relationships. Make sure to balance screen-time and safety for them.
Should I seek and consult children’s emotional issues with a professional?
If you’ve observed significant and persistent changes in their behavior, emotional state, or school performance despite your efforts, we suggest you consult with a mental health professional, who can provide expert support and guidance. This can contribute to long-term well-being.
References
UNICEF.
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA).
Department of Health (DOH).
A Call to Action
Raising a child while a parent works overseas is undeniably challenging, but it’s not a burden you have to carry alone. By understanding the emotional impact on OFW children, recognizing the signs of distress, providing open communication, building strong support systems, and promoting resilience, you can help these children thrive despite the distance. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it – both for yourself and your child. Remember, investing in the emotional well-being of OFW children is an investment in their future and in the future of our nation. Start today. Take action today. It’s what they deserve.
