Being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) is often seen as a way to give children a better life, but it can also be tough on kids left behind. They can feel sad, lonely, or even angry when their parents are away. We’re going to talk about these feelings and what can be done to help OFW children feel loved and supported, even when their parents are far away.
Understanding the Emotional Challenges
Imagine your mom or dad suddenly having to leave for a job far away. You wouldn’t see them every day, and you might miss them a lot. This is what OFW children experience. The feeling of missing someone, called separation anxiety, is very common. Kids might cry more, have trouble sleeping, or not want to go to school because they miss their parent so much. According to a study by the Scalabrini Migration Center, children of OFWs often show signs of increased anxiety and depression compared to children with parents present. These feelings are real and need to be taken seriously.
Loneliness and the Feeling of Being “Different”
It’s hard to see other kids with their parents when yours is miles away. OFW children sometimes feel lonely and like they don’t quite fit in. They might think, “Why can’t my mom be here for my birthday?” or “Why does my dad have to miss my basketball game?”. This feeling of being different can make them feel isolated. They might not want to talk about it, but it’s still important to know that they are feeling this way. Talking to a trusted adult like a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or teacher can help.
The Burden of Responsibility
Sometimes, older OFW children feel like they have to take on more responsibilities at home. They might need to help take care of younger siblings, do more chores, or even act as a “parent” figure. This can be overwhelming. While it’s good to learn responsibility, it’s important to remember that they are still children and shouldn’t have to carry too much weight on their shoulders. The government, through agencies like the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), offers programs to support families of OFWs, including counseling and educational assistance. DSWD Website provides more information on these services.
Feelings of Anger and Resentment
It’s okay to feel angry! Some OFW children might feel angry at their parents for leaving. They might think it’s unfair that their parents had to go away to work. They may even resent the sacrifices that the entire family has to make. These feelings are normal, but it’s vital to find healthy ways to express them. Talking to someone, writing in a journal, or even engaging in physical activity can help release these emotions.
Addressing the Needs of OFW Children
Now that we know some of the emotional challenges, let’s talk about what we can do to help. It’s all about providing support, understanding, and making sure these kids feel loved.
Open Communication is Key
The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. This means family members, especially the parent working abroad, should communicate regularly. Video calls are a great way to see each other’s faces and feel more connected. Even a short phone call or a text message can make a big difference. The parent working abroad should also try to be present during these calls, listening attentively and talking about everyday things.
Encourage children to express their feelings. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable talking about their worries, sadness, or anger. Let them know that it’s okay to feel those emotions and that you are there to listen without judgment. It’s not about fixing their problems, but about being a supportive presence. You can start by asking simple questions like, “How are you feeling today?” or “Is there anything you want to talk about?”.
The Role of the Caregiver
The caregiver, whether it’s a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or older sibling, plays a vital role. They are the person who provides daily care and support. It’s important for caregivers to be understanding, patient, and consistent. They should try to maintain a stable and loving environment. The caregiver should also keep the parent working abroad informed about the child’s progress, both academically and emotionally.
Caregivers should also be aware that they are not meant to replace the parent who is away. It is best to nurture the connection between child and OFW parent whenever possible. For instance, a caregiver could create a special space in the house showcasing the OFW parent’s pictures and keepsakes. It helps keep the memory of the OFW parent alive and helps the kids feel connected.
Creating a Stable and Supportive Environment
Children need routine and stability, especially when a parent is away. Try to maintain a regular schedule for meals, bedtime, and homework. This can help them feel more secure and in control. Involve them in extracurricular activities they enjoy, such as sports, music, or art. These activities can provide a sense of belonging and help them develop social skills. They are also good distractions from the sense of loss experienced from parental absence.
Build a strong support network. Encourage them to spend time with friends and family members. A strong support network can provide emotional support and help them cope with the challenges of having a parent working abroad. Arrange regular visits with grandparents, cousins, or other relatives. Also, encouraging the child to maintain a relationship with the parent’s friends can help, because they keep the parent top of mind.
Using Technology to Stay Connected
Technology is a powerful tool for staying connected. Video calls, messaging apps, and social media can help bridge the distance. Set up regular video calls so the child can see and talk to their parent. Encourage them to send messages or photos to their parent. Technology can also be used for fun activities like watching a movie together online or playing a video game.
However, it’s also important to be mindful of the potential downsides of technology. Limit screen time and ensure that the child is using technology in a safe and responsible way. Sometimes, children can feel even more isolated if they spend too much time on social media comparing their lives to others. So, it’s about finding a healthy balance.
School Involvement and Support
Schools can play an important role in supporting OFW children. Teachers and counselors should be aware of the challenges these children face and provide extra support when needed. Schools can also organize support groups or activities specifically for OFW children. These groups can provide a safe space for them to share their experiences and connect with others who understand what they are going through. Schools should be in close communication with caregivers to identify any potential problems and provide appropriate interventions. They can also facilitate communication between the child and the parent working abroad, such as allowing video calls during school hours.
Recognizing and Addressing Mental Health Concerns
It’s important to recognize the signs of mental health problems in OFW children. These signs can include changes in behavior, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, loss of interest in activities, and physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can provide support and guidance. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Many organizations offer free or low-cost mental health services. Check with your local community center or health department for resources.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you care about yourself and want to get better. There are people who want to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out.
Sometimes, kids don’t realize they are having problems. As a caregiver, it’s your responsibility to observe changes in the child. For instance, you can keep an eye out for excessive gaming, social withdrawal from family and friends, a drop in academic performance, and so on.
Long-Term Strategies for OFW Families
Beyond the immediate emotional needs, it’s crucial to plan for the long term. This includes financial planning, family reunions, and ultimately, the OFW’s return home.
Financial Planning for the Future
While the OFW’s income is intended to improve the family’s life, it’s essential to manage finances wisely. This includes saving for the children’s education, investing in the future, and planning for the OFW’s eventual retirement. Financial literacy programs can help families make informed decisions about their money. It’s also important to teach children the value of money and how to manage it responsibly. The parent working abroad and the caregiver at home should work together to create a budget and stick to it. This can help ensure that the money is used wisely and that the family’s long-term needs are met.
Consider investing in a small business, real estate, or other assets which generates passive income. The goal should be for the OFW to eventually return home and not need to work abroad anymore.
Planning for Family Reunions
Regular family reunions are essential to maintain strong family bonds. These reunions provide an opportunity for the family to reconnect, spend quality time together, and create lasting memories. Plan these reunions well in advance and involve the children in the planning process. This can help them feel more excited and engaged. Make the most of the time together by engaging in fun activities, exploring new places, and simply enjoying each other’s company. Even short visits can make a big difference.
When the OFW parent goes back to the foreign country to work, have the kids prepare small gifts, letters, drawings to bring with them. It’s a way of sending them off with love and hope.
The Importance of the OFW’s Return
The ultimate goal for many OFW families is for the parent to eventually return home permanently. This requires careful planning and preparation. Before returning, the OFW should have a clear plan for their future, including their finances, career, and living arrangements. It’s also important to prepare the children for the OFW’s return. They may have mixed feelings about it, such as excitement, apprehension, or even resentment. Talk to them about these feelings and reassure them that everything will be okay. When the OFW returns, it’s important to take the time to adjust and re-establish family routines. Start slowly and gradually increase the amount of time spent together. The OFW should also be prepared to take on more responsibilities at home and share the workload with the caregiver.
Do not expect things to be perfect right away. It might take some time for the whole family to re-adjust and settle into a new routine.
Seeking Support from OFW Organizations
There are numerous organizations dedicated to supporting OFWs and their families. These organizations offer a wide range of services, including counseling, financial assistance, legal advice, and skills training. Connect with these organizations to access the support and resources you need. They can provide valuable information and guidance on a variety of issues, such as dealing with separation anxiety, managing finances, and preparing for the OFW’s return. Many Filipino communities abroad also have organizations specifically for OFWs. These organizations can provide a sense of community and belonging, as well as practical support and assistance.
Real-World Examples and Stories
Let’s look at some real-life stories of OFW children and how they coped with the challenges. This will give us a better understanding of the different ways children experience separation and how they can overcome it.
Example 1: Maria’s Story. Maria’s mother has been working as a nurse in Saudi Arabia for ten years. Maria says the hardest part is missing her mom’s presence during important events like school plays and birthdays. Her grandmother, who is her caregiver, makes sure Maria stays connected with her mom through regular video calls. Maria also writes letters to her mom, sharing her thoughts and feelings. The school counselor has also been a great support, providing Maria with a safe space to talk about her emotions.
Example 2: Jose’s Story. Jose’s father works as a construction worker in Canada. Jose initially felt angry and resentful towards his father for leaving. However, with the help of his older sister, he learned to understand his father’s sacrifices. His sister encouraged him to focus on the positive aspects of his situation, such as the opportunities his father’s income provided. Jose also joined a basketball team, which helped him make friends and feel more connected to his community.
Example 3: Elena’s Story. Elena’s parents both work as domestic helpers in Hong Kong. Elena lives with her aunt, who is very supportive. Elena’s aunt taught her how to manage household chores and take care of her younger siblings. While Elena sometimes feels overwhelmed by the responsibilities, she also feels a sense of pride in being able to contribute to the family. Elena’s aunt also makes sure she has time for fun activities like watching movies and playing games with her friends.
These stories show that OFW children can cope with the challenges of separation in different ways. It’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to provide them with support, understanding, and opportunities to connect with others.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about the emotional toll on OFW children.
What are the most common emotional problems faced by OFW children?
The most common emotional problems include separation anxiety, loneliness, feelings of being “different,” burden of responsibility, anger, and resentment. These feelings can manifest in various ways, such as crying more often, having trouble sleeping, experiencing a drop in academic performance, or withdrawing from social activities.
How can I help my child cope with separation anxiety when I have to work abroad?
Prepare your child in advance by talking openly about your plans and explaining why you need to work abroad. Reassure them that you love them and will stay connected through regular video calls, phone calls, and messages. Create a routine for communication and stick to it as much as possible. Work with the caregiver to provide a stable and loving environment.
What can I do if my child is angry or resentful towards me for working abroad?
Acknowledge and validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel angry or resentful and that you understand why they feel that way. Avoid getting defensive or dismissive. Listen to their concerns and try to address them as best you can. Remind them that you are working abroad to provide a better future for them and the family. Seek professional help if necessary.
How can I ensure that my child is not overburdened with responsibilities while I’m away?
Communicate with the caregiver regularly to assess the child’s responsibilities and workload. Make sure they have enough time for school, extracurricular activities, and relaxation. Encourage them to seek help when they need it and to prioritize their own well-being. Remember that they are still children and shouldn’t have to carry too much weight on their shoulders.
What resources are available to support OFW children and their families?
There are many government agencies, non-profit organizations, and community groups that offer support to OFW children and their families. These resources include counseling, financial assistance, legal advice, skills training, and support groups. Contact your local community center, health department, or Philippine embassy for information on available resources.
How can I prepare my child for my eventual return home?
Talk to your child about your plans to return home well in advance. Reassure them that you are excited to be together again and that you will work together to adjust to the new situation. Be prepared for mixed feelings and allow time for the family to readjust to living together again. Be patient, understanding, and supportive. The return home should be joyful, but it may also be an adjustment challenge.
References
Scalabrini Migration Center. Impact of Migration on Children Left Behind.
Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD). Programs and Services for Families of OFWs.
Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA). Information and Resources for OFWs.
Instead of simply ending this discussion, let’s take meaningful action. If you’re an OFW, remember that consistent communication, even brief connections, mean the world to your child. Schedule those video calls, send those messages, and keep them involved in your life. If you’re a caregiver, be patient, understanding, and a pillar of support. Provide a stable and loving home, and encourage them to express their feelings. And if you’re a teacher or counselor, reach out to OFW children in your community, and let them know they are not alone. Together, we can support these children and help them thrive, even when their parents are far away. Sharing this article with friends and family will amplify the awareness of issues and offer solutions that impacts the lives of OFWs and their children.
