Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is a tough job. It means leaving your family behind to work hard in another country, often for years. This can be especially hard on kids who miss their parents a lot. This article is all about how to help OFW children feel loved, connected, and like they still belong, even when their mom or dad is miles away. We’ll talk about simple things that family members at home and the OFW parent can do to build a strong bond across the distance.
Understanding the Challenges OFW Children Face
Imagine your mom or dad suddenly leaves for a faraway place. You might feel sad, confused, or even a little angry. That’s how a lot of OFW kids feel. They miss having their parent around for everyday things, like helping with homework, going to school events, or just giving them a hug before bedtime. One study suggests that a significant percentage of children of migrant workers experience emotional distress. It’s not just about missing them; it’s also about dealing with changes at home, like new routines, different caregivers, and maybe even moving to a different house.
Sometimes, kids might feel like they have to be extra good to make things easier for the parent who’s left at home. They might hide their feelings so they don’t add to their stress. This can lead to them bottling up their emotions, which isn’t healthy in the long run. It’s super important to create a safe space where they can talk about anything, without feeling like they’re burdening anyone. Remember, their feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel sad, even if their parent’s sacrifice is for the family.
The Power of Consistent Communication
In today’s world, we’re lucky to have technology that lets us connect with people all over the globe. Video calls, like on Skype, Zoom, or Viber, can be a lifesaver for OFW families. But it’s not just about how often you call; it’s also about what you do during those calls. Think about making each call special and meaningful.
Instead of just asking “How was your day?” try asking specific questions like, “What was the funniest thing that happened at school today?” or “What game did you play with your friends?” This shows you’re really interested in their life. You can even plan activities to do together during the call, like reading a book, watching a movie, or playing a simple online game. These shared experiences help create memories, even when you’re far apart. Schedule regular calls, if possible, to create a sense of predictability and reassurance. Knowing when to expect a call helps children look forward to the connection.
Making the Most of Short Visits Home
When OFWs come home for visits, it’s a really special time. Make sure to make the most of it! Plan activities that the whole family can enjoy together. This could be a trip to the beach, a visit to the park, or even just a simple picnic in the backyard. The important thing is to focus on spending quality time together and creating happy memories. One-on-one time is also important. Dedicate some time to each child individually, doing something they love to do. This shows them that they are important and valued.
Before leaving again, talk to your children about how you’re feeling and reassure them that you’ll stay connected. Leave a small, meaningful gift behind, something that reminds them of you and your love. You can even create a countdown calendar together, marking the days until your next visit. This can help them feel like your absence is temporary and that they have something to look forward to.
The Role of Those at Home
The family members who stay behind play a crucial role in supporting OFW children. They are the ones who provide daily care, love, and stability. It’s important for them to create a consistent and nurturing environment. Keep the OFW parent involved in important decisions about the children’s lives, like school choices or healthcare. This shows the children that their parent is still an active part of their family, even from afar.
Share stories and pictures of the OFW parent regularly. Talk about their accomplishments, their values, and their love for their family. This helps keep their memory alive and reminds the children of the important role their parent plays in their lives. A parent in the Philippines, in place of the OFW, should be available to attend school meetings and events, and engage children in activities that stimulate their minds and foster feelings of belongingness. Consider maintaining open, honest communication with the OFW about the children’s progress, challenges, and emotional well-being.
Creating Traditions Across Borders
Even when you’re far away, you can still create traditions that bring you closer together. For example, you could have a weekly “movie night” where you all watch the same movie at the same time, even if you’re in different countries. You could also celebrate birthdays and holidays together via video call, singing songs, opening presents, and sharing special meals. These traditions help create a sense of belonging and continuity, even when you’re separated by distance.
Consider writing letters or sending postcards on special occasions or for no reason at all. Encourage the children to write back. Handwritten notes add a personal touch that digital communication can’t replicate. Think about creating a family scrapbook or a shared online photo album where everyone can contribute pictures and captions. This is a great way to document memories and keep everyone connected to each other’s lives.
Dealing with Difficult Emotions
It’s normal for OFW children to experience difficult emotions, like sadness, anger, or loneliness. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and create a safe space where they can express themselves. Encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling, without judgment. Listen attentively and validate their emotions. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad or miss their parent.
Help them find healthy ways to cope with their emotions. This could be through talking to a trusted adult, writing in a journal, drawing, or engaging in physical activity. If you’re concerned about their emotional well-being, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. Many organizations offer free or low-cost counseling services to OFW families. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Technology’s Role in Bridging the Distance
Technology is a powerful tool for connecting OFW families. Beyond video calls, there are many other ways to use technology to stay in touch. Social media platforms, like Facebook or Instagram, can be a great way to share updates and photos. Messaging apps, like WhatsApp or Viber, allow for instant communication. Online gaming can be a fun way to spend time together, even when you’re far apart. Educational apps can provide educational time with a parent guiding them through the activities remotely.
Be mindful of the potential downsides of technology, such as excessive screen time or exposure to inappropriate content. Set boundaries and guidelines for technology use. Encourage children to balance their screen time with other activities, like playing outside, reading, or spending time with friends and family. Also, discuss online safety and responsible internet use with them to help protect them from potential risks.
The Importance of Education and Awareness
It’s important to educate children about the reasons why their parent is working overseas. Explain to them that it’s a sacrifice made out of love and a desire to provide a better future for the family. Help them understand the challenges and rewards of being an OFW. Share stories of other OFWs who have succeeded in their careers and made a positive impact on their families and communities. This can help instill pride and appreciation for their parent’s sacrifices and hard work.
Raise awareness about the unique challenges that OFW children face and the importance of supporting them. Encourage schools, community organizations, and government agencies to provide resources and services to help them thrive. Advocate for policies that protect the rights and welfare of OFWs and their families. Remember, OFW families are a vital part of our society, and they deserve our support and understanding.
Celebrating Milestones Together, Even from Afar
Missing important milestones like birthdays, graduations, or sports events can be particularly difficult for both the OFW parent and the child. Make an effort to celebrate these milestones together, even if you can’t be physically present. Plan a special video call where you can sing “Happy Birthday,” watch a graduation ceremony, or cheer on your child during a sports game. Send a thoughtful gift that shows you’re thinking of them. These gestures, however small, can make a big difference in helping your child feel loved, supported, and connected to you.
Consider creating a video montage of family members and friends sending their congratulations and well wishes. This can be a heartwarming way to show your child how much they are loved and appreciated. If possible, try to arrange for a trusted friend or family member to represent you at the event and capture photos and videos to share with you later. The child’s other parent in the Philippines can create a mini celebration at home with close friends.
Nurturing Independence and Resilience
While it’s important to provide support and guidance to OFW children, it’s also important to encourage their independence and resilience. Tasks like house chores teach them responsibility and self-reliance. Encourage them to take on age-appropriate responsibilities, like helping with household chores, managing their schoolwork, or pursuing their hobbies. This can help them develop a sense of competence and self-confidence. Support their interests and passions and help them find activities that they enjoy. This can provide them with a sense of purpose and fulfillment and help them cope with the challenges of having a parent away.
Teach them problem-solving skills and encourage them to find their own solutions to challenges. This can help them develop resilience and the ability to bounce back from setbacks. Celebrate their successes and acknowledge their efforts, even if they don’t always achieve their goals. Helping children develop independence and resilience can equip them with the skills and strength they need to thrive, even in the face of adversity. Parents can also encourage participation in activities such as scouting.
Building a Strong Family Identity
Even when a parent is working overseas, it’s important to maintain a strong family identity. This can involve sharing family stories, traditions, and values. Talk about your family history and heritage. Share photos and videos of past family events. This can help children feel connected to their roots and understand the importance of their family. Encourage them to learn about their culture and traditions. This can help them develop a sense of identity and belonging. Celebrate your cultural heritage together through food, music, dance, and other activities.
Create a family mission statement or a set of family goals. This can help everyone stay focused on what’s important and work together to achieve common objectives. Regularly discuss your family values and how they guide your decisions and actions. By nurturing a strong family identity, you can help your children feel connected, grounded, and supported, even when you’re miles apart.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
My child is very young. How can I make them understand why I have to work abroad?
With younger children, it’s best to keep the explanation simple and focus on the positive aspects. Use words they understand and avoid overwhelming them with too much information. For example, you could say, “Mommy/Daddy is going to work in another country so we can buy you nice things and have a better life. I’ll miss you very much, but I’ll call you every day and we’ll see each other again soon.” Show them pictures of where you’ll be working and talk about the fun things you’ll do together when you come home. Focus on reassuring them that you love them and that you’ll always be their parent, no matter where you are.
My teenager resents my absence. How can I rebuild our relationship?
Teenagers can be particularly challenging because they are going through a lot of changes and they may feel more acutely the absence of a parent. Start by acknowledging their feelings and validating their resentment. Listen to their concerns without judgment and let them know that you understand how they feel. Spend quality time with them when you can, focusing on their interests and activities. Be present and engaged, and avoid lecturing or criticizing them. Show them that you respect their opinions and that you value their perspective. Communicate openly and honestly and be willing to make compromises. It may take time and effort, but with patience and understanding, you can rebuild your relationship with your teenager.
How do I deal with the guilt of leaving my children behind?
Guilt is a common emotion for OFW parents, but it’s important to remember that you’re making a sacrifice out of love and a desire to provide for your family. Acknowledge your feelings of guilt, but don’t let them consume you. Focus on the positive aspects of your decision and the benefits it will bring to your family. Stay connected with your children and make an effort to be involved in their lives, even from afar. Seek support from other OFW parents who understand what you’re going through. Remember that you’re not alone and that there are many others who are facing similar challenges. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can for your children.
What resources are available to support OFW families?
There are many organizations and resources available to support OFW families. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) provides a range of services, including financial assistance, scholarships, and counseling services. Many NGOs offer support groups and educational programs for OFW children. The Philippine Embassy and Consulates in your country of work can provide assistance with legal and consular matters. Do some research online and reach out to organizations and agencies that can provide support and guidance.
How do I ensure that my child’s education doesn’t suffer due to my absence?
Stay actively involved in your child’s education, even from overseas. Communicate regularly with their teachers and monitor their progress. Provide them with the resources they need to succeed, such as books, tutoring, and internet access. Encourage them to develop good study habits and create a supportive learning environment at home. Celebrate their achievements and offer encouragement when they face challenges. Consider enrolling them in online learning programs or homeschooling if that’s a more suitable option. Most importantly, let them know that you value their education and that you believe in their ability to succeed.
The other members of the family left in charge are doing something else. How do I step in without causing conflict?
Delicate family situations with those left in charge take communication and a collaborative approach. Start by expressing your concern in a kind manner without being confrontational. Offer your support to find a workable solution. You could ask if you could come in during certain times of the day to help address challenges. Acknowledge that they are already putting effort to your children and mention that it is a team effort to ensure the children’s safety and wellbeing.
References
- Cortez, O. F. (2016). The emotional well-being of children of overseas Filipino workers. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(9), 2772-2781.
- Scales, P. C., & Leffert, N. (1999). Developmental assets: A synthesis of the scientific research on adolescent development. Search Institute.
- OWWA (Overseas Workers Welfare Administration) Official Website
Take Action Today!
Being an OFW parent is never easy, but it’s undeniably worth it when you see how much love, support, and connection can impact your children’s lives. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to start implementing these tips. Start small, start now, and make a conscious effort to connect with your children on a deeper level, despite the distance. Schedule that video call, write that letter, plan that virtual movie night. Your presence, even virtually, makes all the difference. Remember, you are not alone. Together, we can make “home” a feeling, not just a place, for every OFW child.
