Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) means making huge sacrifices, especially being away from your family. This article is for the spouses, parents, siblings, and other loved ones holding down the fort back home. It’s about recognizing your strength, providing practical tips, and helping you navigate the challenges of being the primary caregiver when your OFW family member can’t be there.
Understanding the Unique Challenges
Let’s be honest: being left behind isn’t a walk in the park. It often means taking on extra responsibilities, managing finances on your own, dealing with emergencies, and even handling the emotional burden of your loved one’s absence. You might feel like you’re juggling too many balls at once, and that’s perfectly normal. Many studies, including those from the International Labour Organization (ILO), highlight the social costs of migration on families, often including increased stress levels for those left behind.
Think about a typical day. You’re probably managing the household, taking care of the kids, handling bills, and maybe even working a job yourself. Add to that the worry about your family member abroad, the occasional feeling of loneliness, and the need to make important decisions solo. It’s a lot to handle! Recognizing these challenges is the first step to finding effective solutions.
Financial Management When One Income is Abroad
Money is often a big concern when someone is working abroad. It’s important to have a clear plan for how the money will be sent home, saved, and spent. Start with a budget. Track your income and expenses to see where your money is going. There are many free budgeting apps available that can help you with this. Prioritize needs over wants. Distinguish between essential expenses like food, shelter, and education versus non-essential items. This helps free up more money for savings and investments.
Consider opening a separate savings account specifically for emergencies or future goals like education or retirement. Explore investment options like time deposits, mutual funds, or even starting a small business. Be very wary of scams or get-rich-quick schemes. Always do your research and consult trusted financial advisors. Sending money home regularly can be a hassle with high fees. Research the best remittance options. Some banks have partnerships that can reduce fees, while other services offer competitive exchange rates.
Real-world Example: Maria from Cebu has been managing her family’s finances while her husband works in Dubai. They use a budgeting app, prioritize expenses, and have a savings account. After a few months, they invested some funds in a small online business, generating an extra income stream and making them less reliant on remittances alone.
Communication: Staying Connected Across the Miles
Communication is key to maintaining strong family relationships, especially when you’re miles apart. Regular communication can ease feelings of loneliness and sadness. Schedule regular video calls. Make it a habit to connect with your family member abroad every day, or at least few times a week. Seeing each other’s faces makes a big difference. Share photos and videos. Share photos of the kids, pets, family events, and everyday life to help your loved one feel like they’re still part of your world.
Don’t just talk about the good stuff. Share your worries, frustrations, and even your little victories. Open communication builds trust and intimacy. Use messaging apps like WhatsApp, Viber, or Messenger to send quick updates, share funny memes, or simply let them know you’re thinking of them. Be understanding of time differences. Remember that your loved one might be busy at work or dealing with different time zones. Be patient and flexible with communication schedules.
Real-world Example: Jose, working in Saudi Arabia, and his wife Ana in Manila, talk every night via video call. They read bedtime stories to their kids together, even though they’re physically apart. This helps Jose feel like he’s still an active parent and helps the kids stay connected with him.
Handling Emergencies and Unexpected Situations
Emergencies can happen at any time. Being prepared can reduce stress and make you feel more in control. Create an emergency fund. Set aside money specifically for unexpected expenses like medical bills, car repairs, or home repairs. Have a list of important contacts readily available. Include phone numbers for doctors, hospitals, insurance companies, and trusted neighbors or relatives. Review insurance policies regularly. Make sure your health, home, and car insurance policies are up-to-date and provide adequate coverage.
Knowing how to handle basic medical situations can be a lifesaver. Take a first aid and CPR course. If you’re not familiar with basic home repairs, take some time to learn them. Knowing how to fix a leaky faucet or unclog a drain can save you money and time. Build a support network. Connect with other OFW families in your community. Sharing experiences and resources can be very helpful during emergencies.
Real-world Example: When Mary’s house in Davao was damaged by a typhoon, she was able to quickly access her emergency fund to pay for repairs. She also had a list of trusted contractors and neighbors who helped her with the cleanup. Because of her preparedness, she was able to recover quickly from the disaster.
Health and Well-being: Taking Care of Yourself
It’s easy to get so caught up in taking care of others that you forget to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Lack of sleep can lead to stress, depression, and other health problems. Eat a healthy diet. Avoid processed foods, sugary drinks, and excessive amounts of caffeine. Focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.
Regular exercise helps relieve stress, improve mood, and boost energy levels. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week. Find ways to manage stress. Take a break when you feel overwhelmed. Try relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Make time for hobbies and activities you enjoy. Read a book, watch a movie, spend time with friends, or pursue a creative outlet.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. There are also many support groups available for OFW families. Many LGUs (Local Government Units), now recognize the important contributions of OFWs and their impact to society, and therefore, have services for families. Some offer free counseling services. Don’t let your mental and physical health take a back seat.
Real-world Example: When Sarah felt overwhelmed by the demands of caring for her children and managing the household, she started attending a weekly yoga class. The exercise helped relieve her stress and improve her mood, and she felt more energized to tackle her daily tasks.
Dealing with Loneliness and Social Isolation
Loneliness and social isolation are common challenges for spouses and family caregivers of OFWs. Actively combatting this helps. Start and/or join a support group specifically for OFW families. Sharing experiences and exchanging tips with others in similar situations can be incredibly helpful. Reach out to family and friends. Plan regular outings or gatherings with loved ones to stay connected. Volunteer in your community or join a local club. Engaging in meaningful activities can help you meet new people and build a sense of purpose.
Take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. This can help you stay mentally stimulated and provide a sense of accomplishment. Use social media to connect with other OFWs families but be careful about what you post. Limit your time on social media if it makes you feel more isolated or insecure. It’s good to be in touch, but too much scrolling can be detrimental.
Real-world Example: Ben, whose wife works as a nurse in London, joined a local basketball league to combat his loneliness. He made new friends, got some exercise, and had something to look forward to each week.
Raising Children When a Parent is Away
Raising children without a parent present can be tough. Consistency and clear communication are vital. Establish a consistent routine. This provides children with a sense of stability and security, especially during times of change. Maintain open communication with your children. Encourage them to express their feelings and worries about their absent parent. Show them pictures and videos of their parent, and talk about them often.
Involve the absent parent as much as possible in the children’s lives. Schedule regular video calls, encourage them to write letters or emails, and involve them in decision-making. Be honest about the situation, but don’t overwhelm your children with details. Explain why their parent is away in a way they can understand. Seek help from family members, friends, or community organizations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with childcare, transportation, or emotional support.
Real-world Example: When Lisa’s husband started working in Singapore, she and her children created a “Daddy Jar” filled with notes, drawings, and small gifts for him. They sent the jar to him every month, and he sent them back a jar filled with his own notes and surprises. This helped them stay connected and feel like they were still a family.
Empowering Yourself Through Education and Skills Development
Investing in your education and skills development can empower you to take control of your life and finances. Take online courses or workshops. There are many free or affordable online courses available on topics like business, finance, technology, and personal development. Learn a new language. This can open up new job opportunities and make it easier to communicate with people from different cultures. Get involved in your community. Volunteering or participating in community activities can help you develop new skills, build relationships, and make a difference in the world.
Consider starting a small business. This can provide you with a source of income and a sense of independence. Seek out mentorship opportunities. Connecting with experienced professionals can provide you with valuable guidance and support. Numerous TESDA programs are available for free. Participating in these programs can help you obtain skills and earn certificates.
Real-world Example: When Helen’s husband was deployed to work in Europe, she enrolled in an online bookkeeping course. She used her new skills to start a small bookkeeping business, which provided her with a source of income and a sense of accomplishment.
Building a Strong Support Network
Having a strong support network is crucial for managing stress and staying resilient. Connect with other OFW families. Sharing experiences and exchanging tips with others in similar situations can be incredibly helpful. Lean on your friends and family. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with childcare, errands, or emotional support. Join a local church or community organization. This can provide you with a sense of belonging and a network of supportive people. Seek out professional help if you’re struggling. A therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies for managing stress, coping with loneliness, and improving your overall well-being.
Real-world Example: After her husband went to work as a seaman, Carol joined a support group for spouses of seafarers. She found comfort in sharing her experiences with other women who understood what she was going through. She also learned valuable coping strategies and made lifelong friends.
Legal and Practical Considerations
It’s essential to have certain legal and practical matters in order, especially when a family member is abroad. Make sure you have a Special Power of Attorney (SPA). This allows you to act on your family member’s behalf in legal and financial matters. Prepare all important documents in advance like birth certificates, marriage certificates, etc. Create a written agreement regarding finances and responsibilities. This can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
Update beneficiary designations on insurance policies and bank accounts. This ensures that your loved ones are protected in case of an emergency. Consult with a lawyer to ensure that you understand your legal rights and obligations. This is especially important if you are dealing with complex legal issues. It is also good to coordinate with Philippine Government agencies like OWWA and POLO to avail of their services.
Real-world Example: Before leaving for a job in Canada, Roberto gave his wife an SPA, giving her the authority to manage his finances and property in his absence. This proved invaluable when he was unable to return home due to travel restrictions related to the pandemic.
FAQ Section
What is a Special Power of Attorney (SPA) and why do I need it?
It is a legal document that authorizes someone to act on your behalf. For OFW families, it’s crucial because it allows the spouse or family member back home to handle financial transactions, property matters, and other legal issues without the physical presence of the OFW. This can simplify things like paying bills, managing bank accounts, or making decisions about property.
How can I manage my anxiety and stress while my spouse is away?
There are several things you can do. Prioritize self-care: get enough sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. Connect with family and friends for emotional support. Join a support group for OFW families. Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor if you’re struggling to cope. Finding time to engage in hobbies and activities you enjoy is important, too.
What are the best ways to send money home safely and affordably?
Research different remittance options and compare fees and exchange rates. Some banks have partnerships that can reduce fees. Other services offer competitive exchange rates. Consider using online money transfer services. Be wary of scams or unregistered money lenders. Check if your sending and receiving banks are PDIC insured. Only send money through reputable and legally compliant channels.
How can I help my children cope with the absence of their parent?
Maintain open and honest communication with your children. Encourage them to express their feelings and offer reassurance. Involve the absent parent as much as possible in their lives through video calls, letters, or emails. Create a consistent routine to provide stability. Spend quality time with your children and engage in activities they enjoy. Seek help from family members, friends, or community organizations if you need additional support.
What resources are available to support OFW families?
There are many government and non-government organizations that offer support to OFW families. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) provides various programs and services, including financial assistance, scholarships, and counseling. Local government units (LGUs) may also offer support programs. Look for OFW family support groups in your community. You can also find helpful information and resources online, such as government websites and OFW support forums.
Are there any educational benefits available for the children of OFWs?
Yes, OWWA provides scholarships and educational assistance programs for the children of qualified OFWs. Some private organizations and foundations also offer scholarships to deserving students. Additionally, state universities and colleges (SUCs) may have special programs or discounts for the children of OFWs. It’s crucial to research eligibility requirements and application deadlines for these programs.
References
International Labour Organization (ILO) Reports on Migration and Family Well-being.
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) Programs and Services for OFWs and their Families.
Various Studies on the Psychological Impact of Migration on Left-Behind Spouses and Children.
TESDA Programs and Certifications.
Instead of just ending here, let’s turn this knowledge into action. You’ve got the strength and the tools–it’s time to truly own your role. Start today: create a budget, schedule a family video call, research support groups in your local area. Take that first step toward greater independence and family resilience. Because you are not just holding down the fort, you’re building a future—a future where your family thrives, no matter the distance.
