Having a parent who works overseas (Overseas Filipino Worker or OFW) can be tough on kids. They might feel lonely, confused, or even angry. This article will explore simple ways to help your child understand the OFW life, deal with their emotions, and maintain a strong connection with their OFW parent.
Why is it important for children to understand OFW life?
Imagine not knowing why your favorite person is suddenly gone, living far away, and only appearing on a screen. That’s how it can feel for a child whose parent becomes an OFW. Understanding why a parent works abroad helps children feel more secure. It can reduce feelings of abandonment and build a sense of empathy. When children understand the purpose behind it – like providing for their education or securing a better future – they’re more likely to accept the situation and even feel proud of their parent’s sacrifices. According to a study by the Philippine Statistics Authority, a significant number of OFWs remit money primarily for family support, and explaining this directly to younger children helps them process the situation Philippine Statistics Authority.
Explaining the concept of being an OFW in simple terms
Don’t use complex words or financial jargon. Keep it simple! For younger children, think of it like this: “Mommy/Daddy is working in another country, like how some people work in Manila but live in a province. It’s far away, but it’s to earn money so we can buy food, go to school, and have a nice home.” You can use analogies that they understand and relate to. For older children, you can explain it a little more: “Life in the Philippines sometimes makes it hard for people to find good jobs that pay enough for our family’s needs. So, Mommy/Daddy is working in where the pay is better. This helps us have things like . Make sure to emphasize that it’s all for the family and that their parent loves them very much.
Addressing common feelings and anxieties
Children often experience a mix of emotions when a parent leaves to work abroad. These can include sadness, anger, confusion, and fear. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel that way. Don’t dismiss their feelings by saying “Don’t be sad” or “You shouldn’t feel angry.” Instead, try saying, “I know it’s hard that Mommy/Daddy is far away. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s also okay to feel angry sometimes. We all miss them.” Encourage them to talk about their feelings. You can ask open-ended questions like, “What are you missing the most about Mommy/Daddy?” or “What’s making you feel sad today?” Be a good listener, offering comfort and reassurance without judgment. Explain that these feelings are normal, and other children with OFWs also experience them. For example, if your child expresses feeling isolated, validate their feelings and suggest activities they can do with other kids or family members.
Effective communication strategies with the OFW parent
Regular communication is the lifeline that keeps families connected across distances. Schedule regular video calls with the OFW parent. Make it a ritual so the child knows when to expect it. Preparing for these calls will make them more meaningful. Have the child write down questions they want to ask or draw pictures to show their parent. Instead of just asking “How was your day?”, try more specific questions like “Tell me about the best thing that happened today,” or “What did you have for lunch?” During the call, encourage the OFW parent to share details about their life abroad, but appropriate for children. Talk about their work, the friends they’ve made, or the places they’ve visited. This will help the child feel more connected to their parent’s world. Beyond video calls, utilize other communication methods like sending photos, videos, and voice messages. These small gestures can make a big difference in keeping the family connected. It is even better if you can send letters or small care packages.
Creating a sense of normalcy and routine
The absence of a parent can disrupt a child’s sense of routine. Try to maintain a stable and predictable home environment. Keep consistent meal times, bedtimes, and study schedules. This structure can provide a sense of security and normalcy during a time of change. Involve the child in household chores and responsibilities, appropriate for their age. This can help them feel like they are contributing to the family and taking on a more significant role. For example, assigning age-appropriate tasks like setting the table or helping with laundry can boost their confidence and sense of responsibility. Furthermore, continue celebrating special occasions and traditions. Birthdays, holidays, and other family milestones should still be celebrated even with the OFW parent’s absence. Incorporate technology to include the OFW parent in the celebrations, like video conferencing during birthday parties or holiday dinners. These celebrations can help maintain a sense of family unity and continuity.
Dealing with resentment and anger
Sometimes, children may feel resentful or angry towards the OFW parent. This anger can stem from feelings of abandonment, loneliness, or the perceived unfairness of the situation. It’s essential to acknowledge and address these feelings in a healthy way. Do not dismiss or punish them for being angry. Instead, try to understand where their anger is coming from. Try to have your child write their feeling, or what made them angry. This can help them process their emotions and communicate them more effectively.
The role of the remaining parent or caregiver
The remaining parent or caregiver plays a crucial role in supporting the child during this time. It is important to be present, supportive, and understanding. Provide extra attention and emotional support to the child. Be a safe space where they can express their feelings without judgment. Try to spend quality time with the child doing activities they enjoy. This can help strengthen your bond and provide a sense of comfort and security. Also, be honest and open with the child about the challenges and sacrifices the family is facing. Let them know that you miss the OFW parent too and that you are working together as a family to make the situation work. It’s important to be united in your approach to parenting, even when one parent is far away. A study on OFW families found that active communication between partners helped in creating stronger parenting styles UNICEF.
Seeking professional support
If the child is struggling to cope with the OFW parent’s absence, it may be helpful to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor can provide a safe and supportive space for the child to process their emotions and develop coping strategies. They can also help the child communicate their feelings effectively and manage any behavioral or emotional issues that may arise.
You may reach out to counseling professionals through educational institution like the child’s school guidance counselor or through community centers. There are also child psychologists that can provide you professional advice.
Building a support system
Having a strong support system can make a big difference in helping the child cope with the OFW parent’s absence. Encourage the child to connect with other children who have OFW parents. They can share their experiences and learn from each other. You can also create opportunities for the child to spend time with family members, friends, and other supportive adults. These relationships can provide the child with a sense of belonging and connection. Involving other family members, like grandparents can help keep the traditions and culture that the child is used to continue while the OFW parent is away.
Using technology to bridge the distance
Technology can be a powerful tool for bridging the distance between the child and the OFW parent. Utilize video calls, messaging apps, and social media to stay connected. Encourage the OFW parent to participate in the child’s activities remotely, such as attending virtual school events or reading bedtime stories over video call. You can even set up a shared online journal or photo album where the child and the OFW parent can share their thoughts and experiences. Create a group chat where the family can share snippets of their days and keep each other updated.
Preparing for the OFW’s return
The return of the OFW parent can be a time of excitement and joy, but it can also be a period of adjustment. Prepare the child for the changes that will occur when the OFW parent comes home. Talk about how things might be different and what to expect. Involve the child in preparing for the arrival, such as decorating the house or planning a welcome home celebration.
Also, it is important to give everyone time to adjust to each other again. Encourage open communication and be patient as the family readjusts to living together.
Tips for the OFW parent
Being an OFW parent is challenging, but there are things you can do to maintain a strong connection with your child from afar. Prioritize regular communication, even if it’s just a quick phone call or message. Be present in your child’s life, even if you can’t be there physically. Stay involved in their school activities, hobbies, and interests. Send letters, care packages, and small gifts to show your love and support. Share stories about your life and experiences with your child, and encourage them to share their lives with you. Most importantly: be understanding, patient, and supportive.
The importance of remembering why
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day challenges of OFW life, but it’s essential to remember why you made the decision to work abroad in the first place. Remind yourself of the sacrifices you are making for your family and the goals you are working towards. Talk to your child about these goals and help them understand the bigger picture. This can help them feel more connected to your journey and strengthen your bond. Keep pictures of your family visible in your workspace to remind yourself of what you are working towards. Remember that your love and support are the most important things you can give your child, even when you are far away.
FAQ Section
How do I explain to my young child why their parent is working abroad?
Use simple language and relatable examples. Explain that Mommy/Daddy is working in another country to earn money for things like food, school, and a nice home. Compare it to someone working in a different city and visiting on weekends.
My child is angry at their OFW parent. How do I handle this?
Acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay to be angry. Don’t dismiss their emotions. Try to understand the source of their anger and encourage them to talk about it. Suggest constructive ways to express their anger, like writing in a journal or talking to a trusted adult.
How often should my child communicate with their OFW parent?
Regular communication is essential. Aim for at least a few times a week, even if it’s just for a short video call or message exchange. Schedule it if you need to to help the child know when they’ll be able to talk to their parent.
What can I do to make the OFW parent feel involved in our child’s life?
Involve them in family events and decisions through video calls. Share photos and videos of your child’s activities. Encourage them to participate in virtual school events or read bedtime stories online. Keep them updated on your child’s progress and achievements.
How can I prepare my child for the return of their OFW parent?
Talk about the return in advance and discuss any potential changes. Involve your child in planning a welcome home celebration. Be patient and understanding as everyone adjusts to living together again. Focus on creating quality time together as a family.
References
Philippine Statistics Authority
UNICEF
So, what are you waiting for? Start implementing these tips to help your child not only cope but thrive despite the distance. Let’s build stronger, more understanding families, one video call, one heartfelt conversation at a time. Let’s transform the challenges of OFW life into opportunities for growth, resilience, and stronger family bonds. Don’t wait to start these conversations today!
