Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) bravely leave their families to work abroad, hoping for a brighter future. But this sacrifice often comes with a hidden cost: stress and anxiety that affect both the OFWs and their loved ones back home. This article will explore these challenges and offer practical tips to cope with the emotional burden of being separated by distance.
Understanding the Stresses Faced by OFW Families
Imagine your mom or dad suddenly leaving to work in a far-off country. It’s exciting because of the promise of better income, but it also brings a lot of changes and uncertainties. This is the reality for many Filipino families. The absence of a parent or spouse can create a void that’s hard to fill, leading to a range of emotional and practical difficulties.
For the OFW, the stress can be overwhelming. New cultures, different languages, and the pressure to succeed can take a heavy toll. They might feel lonely and homesick, constantly worrying about their family’s well-being. They are often burdened with the responsibility of providing for everyone back home, sometimes sacrificing their own needs and well-being. Studies focusing on Migrant Workers’ Mental Health, such as those by the International Labour Organization (ILO), often highlight the link between migration and increased stress levels. This added responsibility coupled with social isolation can be devastating to mental health.
Back home, children might feel abandoned or resentful, even if they understand the reasons for the parent’s absence. The remaining parent, often the mother, takes on double the responsibilities, juggling work, childcare, and household chores. This can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression. Financial burdens are also very common, because sometimes even with the money coming in, managing it effectively could be challenging. The separation also sometimes brings marital issues, due to lack of intimacy and communication gaps.
Common Mental Health Challenges
Several mental health challenges are common among OFW families. It’s important to recognize these signs and seek help when needed. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, often about an event or situation that is certain to happen or is about to happen. For OFW families, anxiety can stem from various sources. The OFW might worry about their family’s safety and well-being, financial stability, or the possibility of job loss. Family members back home might worry about the OFW’s health, safety, and loneliness. Anxiety can show up as restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances. It’s not just feeling a bit stressed; it’s a persistent, overwhelming feeling that interferes with everyday life. To cope with this, try establishing regular communication with your overseas loved one, ensure that you are both informed on the financial issues at home, and explore any free stress management resources offered by local community centers.
Depression
Depression is more than just feeling sad. It’s a persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities that you used to enjoy. OFWs can experience depression due to isolation, loneliness, and the pressure to provide for their families. Family members left behind can also become depressed due to the absence of a loved one, increased responsibilities, and financial worries. Some common signs of depression include persistent sadness, fatigue, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, difficulty concentrating, and feelings of worthlessness. If you recognize these symptoms, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor is crucial. The Department of Health (DOH) in the Philippines also offers resources and support for mental health concerns. Sometimes, even joining support groups and simply sharing your experiences with those with the same experiences can help tremendously.
Relationship Problems
Long-distance relationships are tough, and OFW families are no exception. The physical separation can lead to communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and feelings of resentment. Trust issues can also arise, especially if there’s a lack of transparency or if one partner feels neglected. Regular and open communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Make time for video calls, send messages, and express your feelings honestly. It’s also important to find ways to stay connected emotionally, such as sharing photos, videos, and stories about your daily lives.
Children’s Behavioral Issues
Children are particularly vulnerable to the emotional impact of having a parent working abroad. They might exhibit behavioral problems such as acting out, withdrawal, or difficulty concentrating at school. Younger children might regress to earlier behaviors like bedwetting or thumb-sucking. Teenagers might become rebellious or engage in risky behaviors. It’s important to provide children with a stable and supportive environment. Talk to them about their feelings, listen to their concerns, and reassure them that they are loved and supported. If behavioral problems persist, seeking guidance from a child psychologist or counselor might be necessary.
Practical Tips for Managing Stress and Anxiety
While the challenges are real, there are many ways OFW families can cope with stress and anxiety and maintain their mental well-being.
Open and Honest Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, especially when distance is involved. Make an effort to communicate regularly and honestly with your loved ones. Schedule regular video calls, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly. Listen actively to what your family members have to say, and validate their feelings. Avoid keeping secrets or withholding information, as this can breed distrust and resentment.
Establish a Routine
Routines can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which can be particularly helpful for children. Establish a consistent daily routine that includes mealtimes, homework time, playtime, and bedtime. Encourage children to participate in extracurricular activities and hobbies to keep them engaged and socialized. For the remaining parent, it’s important to maintain a healthy routine as well, including regular exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep. Consider the time differences between the deployed OFW’s location and the home country location, and factor this into your routines.
Build a Support System
Don’t try to go it alone. Build a strong support system of friends, family, and community members who can provide emotional support, practical assistance, and a listening ear. Connect with other OFW families in your community or online. Sharing experiences and offering mutual support can be incredibly helpful. Attend community events and activities to stay connected and avoid isolation. Joining a local church or community group helps to keep you involved in social relationships.
Manage Finances Wisely
Financial stress is a major source of anxiety for OFW families. Create a budget and stick to it. Prioritize essential expenses and avoid unnecessary spending. Set financial goals and track your progress. Seek financial advice from a trusted professional if needed. Consider investing in education or skills training to improve your long-term financial prospects. Ensure that both partners are aware of the expenses and savings plan and both parties must agree to how it is handled. Transparency here will create trust and reduce possible arguments.
Take Care of Your Physical Health
Your physical health and mental health are closely linked. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption and smoking. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Simple things like walking everyday or doing mild stretches can help a lot. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential for your well-being and your ability to care for your family.
Seek Professional Help
If you are struggling with persistent stress, anxiety, or depression, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist. Mental health professionals can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your emotions, cope with challenges, and improve your overall well-being. There are an increasing number of online therapy platforms that can provide convenient and affordable access to mental health services. Also consider that many workplaces have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) which provide free counseling for employees and their families. Never be ashamed to seek help; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.
Utilize Technology to Stay Connected
Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected with loved ones, no matter where they are in the world. Use video calls, messaging apps, and social media to stay in touch with your family. Share photos, videos, and stories about your daily lives. Play online games together, watch movies together, or even have virtual meals together. Get creative and find ways to bridge the distance and create shared experiences. Use calendar sharing apps to sync your activities. This way you both are aware of the schedules of home routines as well as work related schedules. This will help eliminate potential miscommunications.
Focus on the Positives
It’s easy to get caught up in the challenges and difficulties of being an OFW family. However, it’s important to also focus on the positives. Remind yourself of the reasons why you made the sacrifices you did. Celebrate your successes and accomplishments, no matter how small. Express gratitude for the blessings in your life. Focusing on the positives can help you stay motivated, optimistic, and resilient. Always keep the end goal in mind and communicate that with the family back home. Remember, this is not forever, and the sacrifices made are for the betterment of everyone.
Specific Advice for OFWs
Here’s some specific advice tailored for OFWs to help them cope with the unique challenges they face:
Build a Social Network in Your Host Country
Don’t isolate yourself. Make an effort to connect with other Filipinos or people from other countries in your workplace or community. Join social groups, sports teams, or volunteer organizations. Having a strong social network can help you combat loneliness, share your experiences, and find support.
Learn About Your Rights and Resources
Familiarize yourself with your rights as a foreign worker in your host country. Know where to go for help if you experience labor exploitation, discrimination, or abuse. Contact the Philippine Embassy or Consulate for assistance if needed. Also familiarize yourself with labor laws as indicated in platforms like US Department of Labor and other relevant agencies.
Practice Self-Care
Take care of your physical and mental health. Get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption and smoking. Seek professional help if you are struggling with stress, anxiety, or depression.
Set Realistic Expectations
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. Understand that challenges and setbacks are inevitable. Set realistic goals and celebrate your progress along the way. Don’t feel compelled to send home remittances at the expense of your own mental and physical health.
Stay Connected to Your Culture
Maintain your connection to your Filipino culture and traditions. Cook Filipino food, listen to Filipino music, read Filipino books, and watch Filipino movies. Celebrate Filipino holidays and festivals. Staying connected to your culture can help you feel grounded and connected to your identity.
Specific Advice for Families Left Behind
Here’s some specific advice for families left behind to help them cope with the absence of a loved one:
Encourage Open Communication from Children
Create a safe and supportive environment where children feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Encourage them to talk about their worries, anxieties, and sadness. Listen actively to their concerns and validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad or angry about the situation.
Maintain Family Traditions
Continue to celebrate family traditions, even in the absence of your loved one. This can help maintain a sense of normalcy and continuity. Find ways to involve the OFW in these traditions, such as through video calls or by sending photos and videos.
Focus on the Positive Aspects
Help children focus on the positive aspects of having a parent who is working abroad, such as the opportunity for a better future, the chance to learn about new cultures, and the pride in their parent’s hard work and sacrifice.
Share Responsibilities
Distribute household chores and responsibilities among family members. This can help alleviate the burden on the remaining parent and teach children valuable life skills. Involve children in decision-making processes, especially those that affect them directly. Have children help prepare meals, maintain the household, and care for younger siblings.
Seek Support for Your Children
Don’t hesitate to seek support for your children if they are struggling with behavioral problems, academic difficulties, or emotional issues. Talk to their teachers, guidance counselors, or a child psychologist. Joining groups like the Children International, will keep you informed with community mental health events.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about the mental health of OFW families:
What are the signs that my child is struggling with my absence as an OFW?
Your child might show changes in behavior like acting out, becoming withdrawn, having trouble sleeping, or struggling in school. They might also mention feeling sad, lonely, or angry. It’s important to talk to them and listen to their feelings.
How can I support my spouse who is working abroad and feeling homesick?
Regular communication is key. Schedule video calls, send messages, and share your daily experiences. Remind them of your love and appreciation, and offer encouragement during difficult times. Ensure communication is free flowing and both parties are actively listening.
What can I do if I’m feeling overwhelmed by the double responsibilities of being the remaining parent?
Build a support system of friends, family, and community members. Delegate tasks, ask for help when you need it, and prioritize self-care. Remember, it’s okay to not be perfect. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance at home if resources allow it.
Where can OFW families find mental health support in the Philippines?
The Department of Health (DOH) offers mental health services in the Philippines. There are also many private therapists and counselors who specialize in working with OFW families. Additionally, many NGOs also offer free psychological consultations.
How can we maintain a strong relationship despite the distance?
Prioritize communication, build trust, and find ways to stay emotionally connected. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Celebrate each other’s successes and support each other through challenges. In addition, plan visits, and vacations together when the budget allows.
References
ILO (International Labour Organization)
DOH (Department of Health, Philippines)
US Department of Labor
Children International
Supporting OFW families is not just about sending remittances; it’s about nurturing their mental and emotional well-being. Start by opening a conversation. Talk to your family, seek resources, and invest in mental wellness. Remember, a happy and healthy family is the greatest wealth. Start today by making a small change: schedule a family video call, research local support groups, or simply take a moment to appreciate the strength and resilience of your OFW family. Your actions can make a huge difference. Don’t wait, start now!
