Being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) child is a unique experience, often filled with a mix of emotions. While it can bring financial stability and opportunities, it also comes with challenges regarding emotional well-being. This article explores the feelings of OFW children and provides practical ways to build their resilience.
Understanding the Emotional Landscape of OFW Children
Imagine your mom or dad working far away, maybe in a different country. You miss them terribly, right? That’s a very normal feeling for an OFW child. They often experience a wide range of emotions, and understanding these feelings is the first step in helping them cope.
The Feeling of Loss and Loneliness
The most common emotion is the feeling of loss. It’s like a piece of your heart is missing. You miss the everyday things like bedtime stories, help with homework, and just having them around. This can lead to loneliness, especially if the remaining parent or caregiver is busy or stressed. They may also feel that they are missing out on important family moments. For example, not having a parent present during school recognition ceremonies or birthdays can be particularly painful.
Resentment and Anger
Sometimes, OFW children might feel angry or resentful. They might be angry at their parent for leaving, even though they understand why they have to work abroad. This anger can manifest in different ways, like acting out, being rebellious, or withdrawing from family activities. It’s also possible they resent the other parent or caregiver if they feel they aren’t getting enough attention or support because the caregiver is overwhelmed managing everything alone.
Anxiety and Worry
Anxiety is another common feeling. OFW children might worry about their parent’s safety, especially if they are working in a country with political instability or facing difficult working conditions. They might also worry about the family’s financial situation, even if their parents send money regularly. These worries can lead to sleep problems, difficulty concentrating in school, and even physical symptoms like stomach aches. News reports about OFW struggles, like safe work issues provided by the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE), can trigger or exacerbate these anxieties.
Guilt and Responsibility
Some OFW children might feel guilty, especially if they feel like they are a burden to the parent working abroad. They might try to be extra good or take on more responsibilities around the house to ease their parent’s worries. While helpful, this can sometimes lead to them putting too much pressure on themselves and neglecting their own needs. They may feel responsible for their younger siblings or even for the emotional well-being of the remaining parent.
Pride and Gratitude
It’s important to remember that OFW children also experience positive emotions! They often feel proud of their parents for their hard work and sacrifices. They are grateful for the opportunities that their parent’s income provides, such as better education, healthcare, and living conditions. This pride and gratitude can be powerful motivators, encouraging them to do well in school and make their parents happy. They may share the feeling with their peers.
Building Resilience: Helping OFW Children Cope
Resilience is like having a strong shield that helps you bounce back from tough situations. It’s about developing the inner strength to cope with challenges and overcome adversity. Here are some practical ways to help OFW children build their resilience:
Open Communication is Key
Encourage open and honest communication. Create a safe space where children feel comfortable expressing their feelings without judgment. Ask them how they are feeling, and really listen to their answers. Don’t dismiss their feelings or tell them to “toughen up.” Validate their emotions by saying things like, “I understand why you feel sad,” or “It’s okay to be angry.” For younger children, you can use picture books or toys to help them express themselves.
Regular Communication with the OFW Parent
Regular communication with the OFW parent is crucial. Schedule regular video calls, phone calls, or even send letters and emails. The more connected the child feels to their parent, the better they will cope. Make these calls interactive. Encourage the OFW parent to ask about the child’s day, their hobbies, and their friends. Reading a bedtime story over video call, even once a week, can make a huge difference. Talk about communication apps and tools that OFW families have been using to keep in touch with their loved ones.
Strengthening the Remaining Parent/Caregiver Relationship
The remaining parent or caregiver plays a vital role. They need to provide emotional support, stability, and a sense of normalcy. Spend quality time with the child, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Listen actively, offer encouragement, and participate in activities they enjoy. If the caregiver is a grandparent or other relative, ensure they have the resources and support they need to effectively care for the child. Workshops or training sessions for caregivers of OFW children, like those offered by some government agencies like the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO), can provide valuable insights and skills.
Creating a Supportive Environment
Build a supportive environment within the family and community. Encourage the child to participate in extracurricular activities, join clubs, or volunteer. These activities can provide a sense of belonging and help them develop new skills and interests. Connect with other OFW families and create a support network. Sharing experiences and providing mutual support can be incredibly helpful. Also let the child talk to their teachers in school about their situation so the teachers can understand the child more.
Teaching Coping Strategies
Help the child develop healthy coping strategies. Teach them relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, such as drawing, writing, playing music, or spending time in nature. Help them identify their triggers and develop strategies to manage their emotions. For example, if they feel anxious when their parent is traveling, teach them to focus on positive thoughts and remind themselves that their parent is strong and capable. Encourage talking about feelings rather than bottling them up.
Seeking Professional Help
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed. If the child is experiencing significant emotional distress, such as persistent sadness, anxiety, or behavioral problems, consider seeking counseling or therapy. A therapist can help the child process their emotions, develop coping skills, and build their resilience. School counselors are also a good resource and can provide initial support and guidance on additional places to go.
Celebrating Filipino Culture
Continuously embrace and celebrate Filipino culture. It allows children to feel connected to the wider community of other Filipinos here in the Philippines and abroad. This may involve attending cultural events, cooking traditional food, speaking the native language (Tagalog / Filipino), or simply sharing stories and traditions within the family.
Specific Tips for Different Age Groups
The needs of an OFW child will vary depending on their age. Here are some age-specific tips:
Preschoolers (3-5 years old)
Preschoolers may have difficulty understanding why their parent is away. Use simple language to explain the situation, and focus on reassuring them that their parent loves them and will come back. Maintain a consistent routine to provide a sense of stability. Use picture books, toys, and role-playing to help them express their feelings. Create a memory box with photos, letters, and small items that remind them of their parent. Schedule regular video calls and encourage the parent to read bedtime stories or sing songs. For example, read them the book “Mama, How Long Will You Be Gone?”
School-Aged Children (6-12 years old)
School-aged children may be more aware of the implications of their parent’s absence. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and provide opportunities for them to connect with other children in similar situations. Help them stay connected with their parent through letters, emails, and video calls. Encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities and develop their interests. Provide support with homework and school projects. If the child is struggling academically or emotionally, consider seeking help from a school counselor or therapist. Remind them constantly that the parent is working hard for the family because they love them.
Teenagers (13-19 years old)
Teenagers may experience more complex emotions, such as anger, resentment, and loneliness. They may also feel pressure to take on more responsibilities at home. Encourage open communication and provide opportunities for them to express their feelings. Respect their independence and allow them to make their own decisions, within reasonable limits. Help them develop healthy coping strategies, such as exercise, journaling, or spending time with friends. Encourage them to stay connected with their parent through social media and other online platforms. Be aware of the signs of depression or anxiety and seek professional help if needed.
Real-World Scenarios and How to Handle Them
Let’s look at some common scenarios and how to approach them:
Scenario 1: The Child is Acting Out in School
The Situation: Twelve-year-old Anna has always been a good student, but since her mother started working in Saudi Arabia, she’s been getting into trouble at school. She’s been disruptive in class, failing to complete her homework, and even got into a fight with another student.
How to Handle It: First, talk to Anna calmly and compassionately. Try to understand what’s causing her behavior. It’s likely she’s feeling angry, sad, or anxious about her mother’s absence. Validate her feelings and let her know that it’s okay to feel the way she does. Next, communicate with her teacher and school counselor. They can provide additional support and help address her behavioral issues. Involve her in extracurricular activities to help her build new friendships and develop her interests. Schedule regular video calls with her mother so that they can stay connected and maintain a strong relationship even from a distance.
Scenario 2: The Child is Withdrawing from Family Activities
The Situation: Eight-year-old Ben used to love playing basketball with his dad, but since his dad left to work in Japan, he’s been spending most of his time alone in his room. He doesn’t want to participate in family outings or play with his friends.
How to Handle It: Ben is likely feeling lonely and disconnected. Try to engage him in activities he used to enjoy, but don’t force him. Offer to play basketball with him yourself, or find other activities you can do together. Spend quality time with him, even if it’s just reading a book or watching a movie. Talk to him about his feelings and encourage him to express himself. Connect him with other children who have parents working abroad so that he can feel less alone and share his experiences.
Scenario 3: The Child is Constantly Worried About Their Parent’s Safety
The Situation: Fifteen-year-old Carla’s father is working in a country with political unrest. She constantly worries about his safety and spends hours checking the news for updates. She’s having trouble sleeping and concentrating in school.
How to Handle It: Carla’s anxiety is understandable. Reassure her that her father is doing everything he can to stay safe, and that you are in constant contact with him. Limit her exposure to news reports about the political situation, as this can exacerbate her anxiety. Teach her relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. Encourage her to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help her manage her anxiety. Help her focus on positive things in her life and support her in pursuing her interests and goals.
FAQ Section
Here are some frequently asked questions about OFW children:
Why do OFW children often experience emotional difficulties?
OFW children face the unique challenge of parental absence, which can lead to feelings of loss, loneliness, anxiety, and resentment. The lack of consistent parental presence can disrupt their sense of security and stability, making them more vulnerable to emotional difficulties.
How can I tell if my child is struggling emotionally because of my work abroad?
Signs of emotional distress can vary depending on the child’s age. Some common signs include changes in behavior, such as acting out, withdrawal, or difficulty concentrating in school; physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomach aches; sleep problems; persistent sadness or anxiety; and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to address them promptly.
What can I do as an OFW parent to stay connected with my child emotionally?
Make regular communication a priority. Schedule regular video calls, phone calls, or send letters and messages. Make these calls interactive and ask about your child’s life, hobbies, and friends. Share your own experiences and let them know you’re thinking of them. Send small gifts or care packages to show you care. Most importantly, be present and attentive during your communications, even if you’re physically far away. Actively listen and actively care to what they have to day.
How can the remaining parent or caregiver best support the OFW child?
The remaining parent or caregiver needs to provide emotional support, stability, and a sense of normalcy. Spend quality time with the child, listen actively, and offer encouragement. Maintain a consistent routine and create a supportive environment within the family and community. Work closely with the OFW parent to ensure that the child feels loved and connected, even from a distance. Communicate the plan and the process so that the child knows what to expect. Stay positive.
Is it always necessary to seek professional help for OFW children experiencing emotional difficulties?
Not always, but it’s important to be aware of the potential benefits of professional help. If the child is experiencing significant emotional distress that is not improving with family support, seeking counseling or therapy can be beneficial. A therapist can help the child process their emotions, develop coping skills, and build their resilience. But as said, school guidance counselors and peer support groups can be good options.
References
Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO)
Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)
OFW Guide – Communication Tools for OFWs
Instead of just ending here, please remember that your consistent effort to connect with your child goes a long way. Pick up that phone, schedule that video call, or write that letter now! Showing your love and support from afar truly creates a lasting positive impact on your child’s life. Be the superhero even when you’re miles away! Your concern and effort are worth it!
