Being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is tough. It means working far away from your family, missing out on special moments, and dealing with loneliness. But even with the distance, you can still build strong family ties and cherish important traditions. This article gives you practical tips on how to keep your family close, create meaningful traditions, and make the most of the time you have, even when you’re miles apart.
Why Family Traditions Matter, Especially for OFW Families
Family traditions are like the glue that holds everyone together. They’re the special things you do as a family, like celebrating birthdays in a certain way, eating specific foods during holidays, or having unique rituals on weekends. These traditions create a sense of belonging, security, and shared identity. For OFW families, traditions are even more important because they help bridge the gap created by distance. They remind everyone that you’re still a family, even when you’re not physically together.
Think about it: When you consistently celebrate certain holidays or milestones in a meaningful way, it reinforces your family values and strengthens your connections. Children growing up with an OFW parent may feel a sense of loss and absence. Traditions can help fill that void by providing a sense of stability and predictability. They know that even though you’re away, certain things will always stay the same. Data from a study on Filipino diaspora families indicates that families with strong traditions experience greater cohesion and emotional well-being despite geographical separation.
Simple Yet Powerful Traditions You Can Start
You don’t need to spend a lot of money or time to create meaningful traditions. The best ones are often the simplest and most heartfelt. Here are some ideas you can adapt to your family’s unique needs and preferences:
Virtual Meal Times
Set a regular time each week (or even a few times a week) to have a virtual meal together. Use video call apps like Zoom, Skype, or Messenger to eat dinner, lunch, or breakfast as a family. Prepare similar meals (or at least one shared dish) and talk about your day. This helps you feel like you’re physically present and sharing a meal, even when you’re not. You can even create a special “theme night” for your virtual meals, like Taco Tuesday or Pizza Friday. Make it fun and engaging for everyone.
Dedicated Story Time or Book Club
If you have children, dedicate a specific time each week to read them a story. You can read aloud from a physical book or use online resources. After reading, talk about the story and ask questions to encourage interaction. For older children or adults, consider starting a virtual book club where you all read the same book and discuss it over video call. This is a great way to bond over shared interests and stimulate conversation.
Weekly Game Nights
Turn your phone or computer into a virtual game board. There are tons of online games you can play together as a family, from classic board games like Monopoly and Scrabble to video games and trivia apps. Set aside a specific night each week for game night and let everyone take turns choosing the game. This is a fun and lighthearted way to spend quality time together and create lasting memories.
“Open When…” Letters or Care Packages
Prepare a set of “Open When…” letters or small care packages for your loved ones to open on specific occasions or when they’re feeling a certain way. For example, you could write a letter to be opened on their birthday, when they’re feeling sad, or when they miss you. This shows that you’re thinking of them even when you’re not there and provides a tangible reminder of your love and support. Similarly, sending regular care packages with familiar snacks, photos, and small gifts can help bridge the distance and make your loved ones feel cherished.
Creating a Family Online Scrapbook
Start an online scrapbook or photo album where you can all share pictures, videos, and memories. Use a platform like Google Photos, Shutterfly, or a shared social media group to create a visual record of your family’s life. Encourage everyone to contribute and add captions to the photos and videos. This is a great way to reminisce about happy times, share updates on your daily lives, and create a lasting family legacy.
Celebrating Milestones Together (Virtually or in Person)
Make sure to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions in a meaningful way, even if you can’t be there in person. Send gifts, cards, and video greetings. Schedule a video call to sing “Happy Birthday” or exchange festive greetings. If possible, plan a trip home for important milestones like graduations, weddings, or anniversaries. According to the Commission on Filipinos Overseas, the number of OFWs who return home for special occasions steadily increases each year, highlighting the importance of these celebrations. Preparing ahead for these occasions is ideal.
Incorporating Filipino Traditions into OFW Life
Don’t let being abroad prevent you from celebrating your Filipino heritage. Incorporate Filipino traditions into your daily life and share them with your family, both in the Philippines and in your host country. This helps preserve your cultural identity and strengthens your connection to your roots. It also allows your children to grow up with a strong sense of their Filipino heritage.
Cooking and Sharing Filipino Food
Food is a big part of Filipino culture. Prepare your favorite Filipino dishes and share them with your family, even if it’s virtually. Teach your children how to cook Filipino meals and pass down traditional recipes. If you’re living abroad, introduce Filipino cuisine to your friends and neighbors. Share lumpia, adobo, or sinigang and teach them about the history and significance of these dishes. This is a delicious way to share your culture and connect with others.
Celebrating Filipino Holidays
Don’t forget to celebrate Filipino holidays like Christmas, New Year, and Independence Day, even when you’re far from home. Decorate your home with Filipino-themed decorations, listen to Filipino music, and prepare traditional Filipino dishes. Participate in online celebrations or organize your own small gathering with other Filipino families in your area. These celebrations help maintain a sense of community and connection to your homeland.
Speaking Filipino Languages
Encourage your children to learn and speak Filipino languages, even if they’re growing up in a different country. Speak to them in Tagalog, Cebuano, or other Filipino languages at home. Watch Filipino movies and TV shows together. Read Filipino books and stories. Consider enrolling them in Filipino language classes or hiring a tutor. Maintaining proficiency in Filipino languages helps preserve your cultural identity and makes it easier to communicate with relatives back home.
Passing Down Filipino Values
Teach your children about Filipino values like pakikipagkapwa-tao (sense of shared humanity), bayanihan (community spirit), and hiya (sense of shame). Explain the importance of respect for elders, family loyalty, and strong work ethic. These values are deeply ingrained in Filipino culture and help shape your identity. By passing them down to your children, you’re ensuring that your cultural heritage continues to thrive, even across generations and geographical boundaries.
Making the Most of Your Time Together When You Visit
Your visits home are precious. Plan ahead to make the most of your time with your family. Don’t just spend your entire vacation catching up on sleep or running errands. Make a conscious effort to create meaningful memories and strengthen your bonds.
Schedule Quality Time
Before you even arrive, talk to your family about what they want to do during your visit. Create a schedule that includes activities that everyone will enjoy. This could include going on family outings, visiting relatives, participating in community events, or simply spending time at home playing games and talking. Avoid over-scheduling and leave room for spontaneity and relaxation. While the visit of an OFW is exciting, remember that everyone, including you, needs a healthy balance of activities and rest.
Be Present and Engaged
When you’re with your family, be fully present and engaged in the moment. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and focus on interacting with your loved ones. Listen attentively to what they have to say, ask questions, and share your own experiences. Show genuine interest in their lives and concerns. Remember that your time together is limited, so make every moment count.
Revisit Favorite Traditions
Use your visit as an opportunity to reinforce your family traditions. Cook a special family meal, celebrate a holiday in a traditional way, or revisit a favorite childhood haunt. This reinforces the continuity of your family traditions and creates a sense of nostalgia and shared history. As mentioned, the key is to do something that fosters connection.
Create New Memories
While it’s important to revisit favorite traditions, don’t be afraid to create new ones. Try a new activity together, explore a new place, or start a new family ritual. This adds excitement and freshness to your family dynamic and creates new memories that you can cherish for years to come. Maybe try a new restaurant, or even a family karaoke night.
Overcoming Challenges: Staying Positive and Connected
Being an OFW can be incredibly challenging, both for you and your family. There will be times when you feel homesick, lonely, and overwhelmed. Your family may also struggle with your absence, especially during important events and milestones. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and find healthy ways to cope with them.
Communicate Openly and Honestly
Talk to your family about your feelings and concerns. Let them know that you miss them and that you’re struggling with the distance. Encourage them to share their feelings with you as well. Honest and open communication is essential for maintaining strong relationships, especially when you’re apart. Having these regular conversations shows that you care.
Use Technology to Stay Connected
Take advantage of technology to stay connected with your family. Use video call apps to chat with them regularly. Send them photos and videos of your daily life. Participate in online family groups and forums. Technology can’t replace physical presence, but it can help bridge the gap and make you feel closer to your loved ones.
Maintain a Positive Attitude
It’s easy to get bogged down by negativity when you’re facing challenges. But try to maintain a positive attitude and focus on the good things in your life. Remind yourself of your goals and motivations. Practice gratitude and appreciate the opportunities that being an OFW has provided. A positive attitude not only helps you cope with stress, but it also influences the way you communicate with your family.
Seek Support
Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or support groups. Talk to other OFWs who understand what you’re going through. Join online communities where you can share your experiences and receive encouragement. If you’re struggling with mental health issues, consider seeking professional help. Taking care of your well-being is essential for maintaining strong family relationships.
Examples of OFW Families & Successful Traditions
Let’s look at a few examples to see how OFWs have cultivated traditions to foster stronger family ties despite distance:
The Garcia Family: The ‘Sunday Serenade’ Mr. and Mrs. Garcia have worked in Singapore for over a decade. Every Sunday evening, they host a “Sunday Serenade” over Zoom. Their children, back in the Philippines, each choose a song to sing or play on an instrument. The parents join in from Singapore. This weekly tradition not only keeps them connected musically but also allows the children to express themselves and the parents to see their growth.
The Reyes Family: The ‘Adventure Postcards’ Mrs. Reyes, working in Dubai, sends her children a postcard from every place she visits in the Emirates or during her travels. On the back, she writes a short, age suitable description about that destination and adds a personal note. The children collect these postcards, and during her vacations home, they create a scrapbook together, turning their mom’s overseas adventures into a family storytelling experience.
The Santos Family: The ‘Collaborative Christmas Ornament’ Every Christmas, the Santos family creates a new Christmas ornament together, even if they are apart. The children in the Philippines craft a base ornament, and the father, working in Saudi Arabia, adds a small piece or embellishment to it during his vacation the following year. This annual tradition has resulted in a collection of deeply meaningful ornaments over the years, each representing a part of their family history.
FAQ: Common Questions About Maintaining Family Ties as an OFW
How do I deal with the guilt of missing important events?
It’s natural to feel guilty about missing birthdays, graduations, or other milestones. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them consume you. Focus on what you can do, such as sending thoughtful gifts, participating virtually, and planning special celebrations when you visit. Remember that you’re working to provide a better future for your family, and that sacrifice is a testament to your love and commitment.
What if my family isn’t receptive to virtual traditions?
Not everyone is comfortable with technology or enthusiastic about virtual activities. Be patient and understanding. Start small and gradually introduce new ideas. Focus on finding activities that everyone enjoys and that fit your family’s preferences. If virtual activities don’t work, explore other options, such as sending letters, care packages, or scheduling phone calls. The key is to find ways to connect that are meaningful and comfortable for everyone.
How can I ensure that my children don’t forget about me?
Consistent communication is key. Make an effort to talk to your children regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Share photos and videos of your daily life. Send them letters, cards, and small gifts. Involve them in your work life by telling them stories about your job and colleagues. Most importantly, be present and engaged when you are with them, and let them know how much you love and miss them.
How can I balance work and family life as an OFW?
It can be challenging to balance work and family life when you’re an OFW, but it’s not impossible. Set clear boundaries between work and personal time. Dedicate specific hours each day or week to connect with your family. Avoid working overtime or bringing work home when you’re supposed to be spending time with your loved ones. Prioritize your well-being and make time for activities that help you relax and de-stress. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for being a good parent and partner.
How do I handle cultural differences between my host country and the Philippines?
Living in a different country can expose you to new cultures and values that may differ from your own. Be open-minded and respectful of these differences. Learn about the culture of your host country and try to adapt to local customs and traditions. At the same time, don’t forget your Filipino heritage. Maintain your connection to your roots by celebrating Filipino holidays, speaking Filipino languages, and sharing Filipino culture with others. Find opportunities to integrate your Filipino identity with your new cultural experiences.
References
Commission on Filipinos Overseas. Annual Reports. Manila, Philippines.
National Statistics Office. Filipino Overseas Workers Survey. Manila, Philippines.
Parreñas, R. S. (2001). Servants of globalization: Women, migration, and domestic work. Stanford University Press.
Instead of a typical conclusion, let this be a call for action:
Don’t wait for the perfect moment to start building stronger family traditions. Start today. Pick one or two ideas from this article and implement them. Perhaps tonight you could schedule a quick video call with your family, plan a virtual game night, or write a heartfelt letter. The important thing is to take action and make a conscious effort to connect with your loved ones, no matter the distance. Remember, your love and presence, virtual or otherwise, make all the difference. Build memories, maintain traditions, and strengthen your family ties. You have the power to create a lasting legacy of love and connection, even from afar. Go for it!
