Coming home after years working abroad as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) to become a full-time parent is a big life change. It’s exciting to be with your family again, but it can also be tough to adjust to a new routine and way of life. This article is a friendly guide to help you navigate this transition smoothly, focusing on the practical aspects of reconnecting with your family, managing finances, and taking care of yourself.
Reconnecting with Your Family: Building Stronger Bonds
Being away for a long time can change family dynamics. Your children might be older, your spouse might have taken on more responsibilities, and everyone has adapted to a different kind of family life without you physically present. It’s important to remember that rebuilding strong relationships takes time and effort. Don’t expect things to go back to exactly how they were before you left; instead, focus on building a new, stronger connection together.
First, spend quality time with each family member individually. This means putting away your phone, turning off the TV, and giving them your undivided attention. Ask them about their day, their hobbies, their friends, and any challenges they’re facing. Really listen to what they have to say, and show them that you care about their lives. For example, if you have a teenage son who loves basketball, offer to shoot hoops with him. If your daughter enjoys reading, take her to the bookstore or library and let her choose a book.
Re-establish your role in the household. This doesn’t mean taking over everything immediately, but rather gradually becoming more involved in daily tasks and decision-making. Talk to your spouse about how you can best support them and contribute to the family. Maybe you can help with cooking, cleaning, driving the kids to school, or managing the household finances. The key is to find a balance that works for everyone and avoids overwhelming either you or your spouse. Start small and build from there. Volunteer to do the grocery shopping one week, or offer to take the kids to their after-school activities.
Open communication is crucial. Hold regular family meetings where everyone can share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. This is a great way to address any issues that may arise and to foster a sense of unity within the family. These meetings don’t have to be formal or serious; they can be casual and fun. Maybe you can order pizza, play a game, and then talk about anything that’s on your minds. The important thing is to create a safe and supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing themselves. A study conducted by the University of the Philippines found that open communication is strongly correlated with higher levels of family satisfaction among OFW families.
Remember that children may have mixed feelings about your return. They might be happy to have you back, but also anxious about how things will change. Be patient and understanding with them. Talk to them about their feelings, reassure them that you love them, and let them know that you’re there for them. Let them ask questions and express their concerns without judgment. It’s okay if they need some time to adjust to the new family dynamic.
Managing Your Finances: Making Your Savings Last
One of the biggest challenges for returning OFWs is managing their finances. You’ve likely worked hard to save money, and it’s important to make sure those savings last. Transitioning from a steady income to living off your savings requires careful planning and budgeting.
Create a realistic budget. Track your income and expenses for a month to get a clear picture of where your money is going. Identify areas where you can cut back, such as eating out less, canceling subscriptions you don’t use, or finding cheaper alternatives for household goods. Be honest with yourself about your spending habits and make adjustments accordingly. Several online budgeting tools and apps can help you track your finances, such as Mint or Personal Capital. The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) provides data on average household expenses to help you benchmark your budget.
Prioritize your needs over wants. It’s tempting to splurge on things you’ve been wanting while you were working abroad. However, it’s important to remember that your savings need to last. Focus on essential expenses like food, housing, utilities, and healthcare. Delay non-essential purchases until you have a stable income again. Maybe that new gadget can wait a few months, or you can find a cheaper alternative to that designer bag.
Explore investment opportunities. While it’s important to save money, it’s also important to grow it. Consider investing in low-risk options like time deposits, government bonds, or mutual funds. Talk to a financial advisor to determine the best investment strategy for your individual circumstances. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) provides information on investment options and regulations. Be wary of get-rich-quick schemes or investments that sound too good to be true. Do your research and only invest in reputable companies.
Consider starting a small business. Being a full-time parent doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t earn an income. Many OFWs successfully start their own small businesses using their skills and savings. It could be anything from a small eatery, online store, or offering services like tutoring or home repairs. Starting a business can provide you with a source of income while also allowing you to spend more time with your family. The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) offers training and resources for aspiring entrepreneurs.
Avoid unnecessary debt. Be very careful about taking out loans or using credit cards. High-interest debt can quickly eat away at your savings and create financial stress. Only borrow money if it’s absolutely necessary, and make sure you can comfortably afford the repayments. Consider consolidating existing debts to lower your interest rate and simplify your payments.
Taking Care of Yourself: Prioritizing Your Well-being
Adjusting to life back home can be emotionally and mentally challenging. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being so you can effectively care for your family. Don’t neglect your own needs while focusing on everyone else.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle. This includes eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Make time for activities you enjoy, whether it’s reading, listening to music, spending time in nature, or pursuing a hobby. Even small changes can make a big difference in your overall well-being. A short walk each day or preparing healthy meals can significantly boost your mood and energy levels.
Stay connected with friends and family. Isolation can be a common problem for returning OFWs. Make an effort to stay in touch with your friends and family, both in person and online. Social connections can provide you with support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Join a local community group or participate in activities that interest you. Consider joining an organization for returning OFWs to connect with others who understand your experiences.
Seek professional help if needed. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate this transition. There’s no shame in asking for help, and it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. The Department of Health (DOH) offers mental health services and resources. Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.
Set realistic expectations. Don’t expect to adjust to life back home overnight. It takes time to rebuild relationships, manage your finances, and find your new normal. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. There will be good days and bad days, but the important thing is to keep moving forward.
Find purpose and meaning. Working abroad often provides OFWs with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Finding a new sense of purpose back home can help you stay motivated and engaged. This could involve volunteering, pursuing a passion, or starting a new project. Maybe you can use your skills and experience to help others in your community. Or perhaps you can finally pursue that hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
Dealing with Culture Shock: Re-adjusting to the Philippines
Even though you’re returning to your home country, you might experience a form of reverse culture shock. Things might have changed while you were away, and you might have also changed. This can be disorienting and make it difficult to feel completely at home right away.
Be prepared for changes. Prices may have increased, new infrastructure might be in place, and social norms could have shifted slightly. Try to approach these changes with an open mind and be willing to adapt. Talk to your friends and family about what’s new and what to expect. Reading local news and staying informed can also help you stay up-to-date on what’s happening in the Philippines.
Acknowledge your experiences abroad. Your time working abroad has shaped you and given you unique perspectives. Don’t try to erase those experiences or pretend they didn’t happen. Instead, find ways to integrate them into your new life. Share your stories with your family and friends. Use your skills and knowledge to contribute to your community. Your experiences as an OFW are valuable and can enrich your life back home.
Be patient with yourself and others. Adjusting to life back in the Philippines can take time, both for you and your family. Don’t expect everyone to understand your experiences or share your perspectives. Be patient and understanding with those who might not fully grasp what you’ve been through. Remember that everyone is adjusting to the new family dynamic, and it’s important to be respectful of each other’s feelings.
Focus on the positives. While there might be challenges to adjusting back home, there are also many positives. You’re reunited with your family, you’re back in your home country, and you have the opportunity to start a new chapter in your life. Focus on these positives and appreciate the things you love about being back in the Philippines. Spend time with your loved ones, enjoy your favorite local foods, and reconnect with your culture.
Addressing Common Challenges: Practical Solutions
Returning OFWs often face specific challenges, and it’s helpful to be aware of them and prepare solutions in advance. Here are some common issues and practical ways to address them.
Feeling isolated and lonely. This is a common experience, especially if you’ve spent a long time working abroad. To combat this, actively seek out social connections. Join a local club or organization, reconnect with old friends, or volunteer your time. Consider joining an OFW support group where you can connect with others who have similar experiences. Organize regular gatherings with family and friends to stay connected and combat feelings of loneliness.
Difficulty finding employment. The job market in the Philippines might be different from what you’re used to. Update your resume to highlight your skills and experience, and network with people in your field. Polish your interview skills and be prepared to answer questions about your time working abroad. Consider taking online courses or attending workshops to upgrade your skills and make yourself more competitive. The Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) offers programs to help returning OFWs find employment or start their own businesses.
Relationship issues with spouse and children. Being separated for a long time can put a strain on relationships. Work on rebuilding trust and open communication with your spouse. Spend quality time with your children and be actively involved in their lives. Seek counseling or therapy if needed. Make a conscious effort to listen to your family’s needs and address any concerns they may have. Plan family activities that everyone can enjoy to strengthen your bonds.
Managing expectations of family members. Your family might have certain expectations of you now that you’re back home. It’s important to communicate your own limitations and boundaries. Be honest about your financial situation and what you can and cannot afford. Don’t be afraid to say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Have open and honest conversations with your family members about their expectations and work together to find solutions that work for everyone.
Adjusting to a slower pace of life. Life in the Philippines can be more laid-back than in some other countries. Be patient with yourself as you adjust to the slower pace. Learn to appreciate the simple things in life and don’t try to rush things. Embrace the Filipino culture and learn to enjoy the slower, more relaxed lifestyle. Take time to appreciate the beauty of your surroundings and connect with nature.
Resources Available for Returning OFWs: Where to Get Help
The Philippine government and various organizations offer a range of resources to support returning OFWs. Knowing where to find help can make your transition smoother.
Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA): OWWA provides various programs and services for OFWs and their families, including reintegration assistance, livelihood training, educational scholarships, and healthcare benefits. Visit their website for more information.
Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE): DOLE offers employment assistance, skills training, and entrepreneurship programs for returning OFWs. Check their website for available programs and services.
National Reintegration Center for OFWs (NRCO): NRCO is a one-stop shop for returning OFWs, providing information and assistance on various aspects of reintegration, including employment, business opportunities, and social services. They work in partnership with OWWA and DOLE.
Local Government Units (LGUs): Many LGUs offer livelihood programs, skills training, and other assistance to returning OFWs in their communities. Check with your local government unit to see what resources are available in your area.
Non-Government Organizations (NGOs): Several NGOs provide support and assistance to OFWs and their families, including financial literacy training, counseling services, and legal assistance. Research NGOs in your area that focus on OFW issues. Some banks and financial institutions have special programs designed to help OFWs manage their finances and invest their savings.
FAQ Section: Your Questions Answered
Q: How can I deal with the guilt of being away from my family for so long?
A: It’s normal to feel guilty about being away from your family. Acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that you made sacrifices to provide for them. Focus on building stronger connections now by spending quality time together and being present in their lives. Consider talking to a therapist if the guilt is overwhelming.
Q: What if my children don’t accept me back right away?
A: Be patient and understanding. It takes time for children to adjust to a parent returning home. Don’t force anything, and be open to their feelings. Spend one-on-one time with them, listen to their concerns, and show them that you care. Consistency and genuine effort will eventually rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.
Q: How can I avoid spending my savings too quickly?
A: Create a detailed budget and track your expenses. Distinguish between needs and wants, and prioritize essential expenses. Avoid impulse purchases and delay non-essential spending. Consider investing a portion of your savings to generate income. Seek advice from a financial advisor to develop a long-term financial plan.
Q: What kind of business can I start with limited capital?
A: There are many low-capital business options, such as online selling, food vending, home-based services (tutoring, sewing, baking), or offering your skills as a freelancer. Research your local market to identify needs and opportunities. Start small and gradually expand as your business grows. DTI and OWWA offer training programs on entrepreneurship.
Q: How do I adjust to the slower pace of life in the Philippines after working abroad?
A: Embrace the change and try to appreciate the slower pace. Don’t try to rush things or compare it to your life abroad. Focus on enjoying the simple things, such as spending time with family and friends, exploring your local community, and appreciating the natural beauty of the Philippines. Practice mindfulness and learn to live in the present moment.
References
- Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.
- Department of Health.
- Department of Labor and Employment.
- Department of Trade and Industry.
- Overseas Workers Welfare Administration.
- Philippine Statistics Authority.
- University of the Philippines Research Studies on OFW Families.
Ready to create a fulfilling life back home? Don’t let the challenges overwhelm you. Take it one step at a time. Reconnect with your family, manage your finances wisely, prioritize your well-being, and embrace the opportunities that await you in the Philippines. You’ve worked hard, and now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor with your loved ones. Start planning today and build a future filled with love, happiness, and prosperity. Begin by writing down three specific actions you will take this week to strengthen your family relationships. Remember, your family is your greatest treasure.
